Tape

1

- Vince!

- Hey, man.

- This is great!

- Yeah!

This is great, man!

How are you?!

- I can't complain.

- Yeah. Cool, cool.

Totally, it is.

I'm very psyched.

You should be, Johnny.

This is a great thing.

- Thanks, man.

- It's great to be alive!

Totally.

Sh*t.

Clear!

- What's up, man?

- Nothing much.

- You're not dressed.

- Lay off.

It's not that I don't like it...

- What?

- Nothing.

- So?

- So nothing.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Excellent.

I swear to God, man,

you get stranger every year.

You look good, John.

Where's Leah?

She didn't make the trip.

Why not?

We broke up.

Shut up.

- I'm serious.

- Shut up!

- Man, I'm serious.

- You broke up?

- We broke up.

- Why?

Complicated.

Why?

She didn't like the way I dress.

- Come on. Don't joke, man.

- Actually I'm not.

Tell me what happened.

I get stranger every year.

- Come on, Vince!

- What, man?!

She thinks I am a dick!

She sends her apologies

for not coming.

She says she's sure

it's gonna go, you know, fine.

I don't believe it.

She does.

- Why did you break up?

- Hey, hey, I don't know!

- Sorry, man.

- Yeah, man. Me too.

Well... what, is it permanent?

Permanent as

a dead horse, amigo.

Vince.

Come on, what did you do?

Why did you say that?

- Because I know you.

- What, you think I'm a dick?

No... but

I do know that occasionally...

you have a tendency

to act in a phallic fashion.

- I'm not like that anymore.

- You're not a dick?

- No.

- You're not a dick anymore?

- You see what I mean?

- Hey, I'm just asking what happened.

Well, a lot of things.

Like?

Like, I don't know. Like she says

I'm reckless. All right?

- What, in general?

- Yeah.

Okay, you weren't

specifically reckless recently?

Not particularly

specifically. No.

- Be honest, Vince.

- I am.

- Did you f*** around?

- No!

- Vince!

- I didn't.

So what happened?

She thinks I have

violent tendencies.

- Boy.

- John, I never touched her.

I never said you did.

Yeah, well, she thinks I have

"unresolved issues, which occasionally

manifest themselves

in potentially violent ways."

What?

I think it's fair to say

she has a point.

Yeah, well, no one's saying

she doesn't have a point.

- So?

- So what, she's got to break up?

She's probably scared.

God. Of what?

I never threatened her.

You sometimes present

a threatening appearance.

Dude, we've been going together

for three years!

So what?

So, I mean you'd think

she'd be used to it by now.

That's a tricky one, Vin.

Jesus! What's tricky?

I'm just saying, it's tricky.

Women these days have

no reason to hang around...

potentially violent guys.

It's not an attractive

quality to them anymore.

Too many other guys out there

with resolved violent tendencies.

- So I'm out of fashion.

- Look, don't be a fool.

Well, don't be

a politically correct f***.

Hey, I'm not.

I'm telling you, you're an idiot

if you think chicks

are gonna put up with your bullshit.

What bullshit?

- Like playing rough.

- I didn't play rough with her.

- Vince.

- What?

- I love you.

- Great.

- But come on...

- What?

- You don't not play rough.

- I totally do not play rough!

F***!

Okay, man. Look, I'm just sorry

you broke up. All right?

I'm sorry for you both.

Don't be sorry for that b*tch.

Fine, Vince. I'm just

sorry for you. Okay?

Next subject.

Well...

she says if I get my act together,

keep going to the meetings...

stop being a dick...

then she might consider

talking to me again.

Good. That's great, man.

Should we get some dinner?

I got to wait for a call.

From whom?

None of your business.

- From Leah?

- No.

Okay.

Hey, you ready

for your big day tomorrow?

- You're mad.

- I'm not mad.

Hey, buddy,

you're allowed to be.

I'm not mad.

Don't be a fag, okay?

I'll find somebody else.

That's true.

Who appreciates my dark side.

Yeah, you know, but the thing is,

if you could maybe find a way

to learn something

from all this, then

you wouldn't have

as large a dark side.

Learn what?

Learn to deal with some

of your violent tendencies.

Yeah? How?

By acknowledging

them. Right?

By making some type of...

truce with yourself,

where you're not in constant battle

to prove your integrity

or self-worth,

you know, whatever it is

you think nobody gets about you.

I don't think there's

anything to get about me.

Vince, your idea of manhood

is putting on Eddie Cochrane

and screwing

your girl. Okay?

Hey, I'm a simple man.

Well, it's not like that anymore.

Women want other things.

Yeah, well, what do they want?

I don't know, guys who don't put

their fists through windows,

who don't throw

phones across the room...

who don't stalk their girlfriends

across 16 states.

All right, all right. All right.

Where they got you staying?

They got me

over in town, at the Radisson.

Nice.

Yeah, it's nice.

Lansing Film Festival!

Yeah...

that and Cannes.

Hey, still it's a good gig.

It's a good cheap thrill.

Why you got to dump on it?

It's a good gig.

I got big expectations.

I spent two years

of my life on this film.

I want it to be...

you know, at a theater near you.

Yeah, well it is.

It's playing right over...

Yeah, but you had

to come all the way

to the middle of f***ing

Michigan to be there.

For one screening.

All you need is

one of those guys from...

whatever, right, Disney,

to be there tomorrow.

They see it, they like it, boom!

Next thing you know,

you're directing Free Willy IV.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey!

- Hey!

Dude, come on.

I'm starving.

Yeah. What time is it?

It's quarter of.

You want a beer?

Aren't you supposed

to be getting your act together?

I'll wait till I get back.

This is, this is good.

Okay, Vince! Right here.

This is what

she's talking about.

Right here.

John...

if I wanted to

hang out with my mom...

Well put.

And besides, what Leah

don't know won't hurt her.

What do you got going on

in that bag, Vince?

Beer.

How much?

A lot.

Jesus, man.

I don't know why I said

you had violent tendencies.

Why?

The warm beer,

the boxers, the Motor Palace.

Who needs Betty Ford?

We can't all be

at the Radisson, can we?

- You wanna come stay with me?

- No.

I thought you'd be with Leah,

that's why I didn't offer earlier.

It's not a problem.

It's not a problem.

They gave me a double.

11th floor,

overlooking the park.

Still, you probably

want to get laid.

That's true.

It's your big weekend, man.

Chicks are gonna flock to you.

You're right.

No. I'll be fine here.

Cool.

Should I twist your arm?

Little bit more.

- Prick!

- Putz.

- Suck ass!

- Schmuck!

I appreciate you coming

all the way out here, man.

Seriously.

We've come a long way.

Since?

I don't know. High school.

You think?

Some of us.

Dude, I'm totally

giving you sh*t.

- No, but you're right.

- No, man. I'm not!

Let's face it, you are.

I'm right only in that I think

you can do better than you are.

Why?

Because I believe in you.

If I didn't,

we wouldn't still be friends.

And I probably

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