Tape Page #2

couldn't say that to you.

Why not?

Because it sounds

totally pretentious.

- You're right.

- But the thing is, I mean it.

No, look, I'm sorry,

but it's like this

whole thing with Leah.

If it is permanent,

then you should view

it as an opportunity to...

change.

Change what?

I don't know.

Find a new job...

- I like my job.

- What is your job?

- Volunteer firefighter.

- Right.

How do you make your money?

- Lay off, John.

- I'm just saying...

What?

It's just a little immature.

Well, you try doing it.

- That's not the point.

- Besides...

the majority of my clients

happen to be, like, over 50.

Okay? So, if that's not mature,

then I am baffled as to what is.

Okay. Private dope

delivery to ex-hippies

does not

a mature man make, Vince.

It's no different

than standing on the corner

and selling to teenagers.

Why are you lecturing me?

- Hey, I'm not lecturing anybody.

- You are.

- I'm just pointing a few things out.

- Such as?

Such as, yes,

I think you can do better.

Better than what?

Better than...

Better than pissing

your life away.

Vince, look,

you're smart, right?

So why are you

still dealing drugs?

Because I am smart.

All right?

If I were dumb

I would've gotten caught.

Besides, I am a firefighter.

- You deal to the fire chief.

- He needs me.

That's not the point.

Why is what you do better?

Why is what I do better?

Yeah.

Why is what you do better?

Okay.

What I'm trying

to do is better because...

it's an attempt

at figuring things out.

I would like to eventually

become good enough at it

to the point

where I can contribute...

All right, f*** you.

Seriously,

where I can contribute to

a larger debate about

why this country's so f***ed up.

Like for example,

why is it that a

50-whatever-year-old fire chief

feels the need to get

stoned every night?

Right? What is it

about life in America

that's driving that urge in him?

He likes it?

Fine, but then there's

something slightly wrong

with the fact that someone

with that type of responsibility

is constantly high.

I'm serious. Maybe there's

something worth exploring there.

His firehouse happens to have

the best record in the city.

If my house was on fire,

I wouldn't want his high ass

anywhere near it.

Listen, man,

you are so up yourself.

If the guy has a good record,

it's because he's lucky.

- That's it.

- Says who?

It's obvious, man.

He's living this big,

luck-driven lie.

- Get real, are you high?

- No. I'm serious.

You're making movies about guys

who rob Popeye's Fried Chicken.

Hey! Hey, I am telling a story...

which aims to resonate the notion

of where our society's headed

if we're not careful.

If it sounds a little pompous,

it's only because I haven't

fully honed my skills yet.

It doesn't sound pompous.

It sounds...

like you're talking

out of your ass.

Why?

Because you have no idea

where society is headed, okay?

You are just like

everybody else, all right?

You're just following

the latest trend which you hope

will get you laid until that trend

switches to something else,

at which point you'll drop the old one

and start making movies about,

you know, whatever...

Turtles getting caught

in fishing nets.

You don't like my work?

I like it, like I like

a shot of whiskey

first thing in the morning.

It's good for about 10 minutes

and then I want my coffee.

Wow.

What?

Now you're all sensitive?

Did I say something

to piss you off?

Or is it that

you're just a dick?

Well, both.

Well at least you're

finally admitting it.

Unlike...

some of us.

What? That I'm a dick?

Yeah.

- When?

- I was speaking figuratively.

When was I figuratively a dick?

High school.

What?

I was too shy to be

a dick in high school.

Hey, buddy, give

yourself a little credit.

I think you held your own.

That's because everyone's

a dick in high school.

It's the white male

football-playing prerogative.

The trick is to evolve into

something else once you're out.

John, you're wearing $200 shoes.

Okay, first of all,

that's not true.

What? $150?

I'm less shy than

I was in high school.

Great, so now

you're an overt dick.

No, I'm a thoughtful person

who happens to like nice shoes.

And is,

occasionally full of sh*t.

Is there something I'm not doing

that you want me to do?

I don't want you to do anything.

No? Because it seems like

I'm being asked to do something

by a 28-year-old pot dealer

who doesn't have the guts to progress

with the rest of society.

Which would be fine if

it was a legitimate rebellion,

instead of just some lonely guy

hanging out in a motel room

wearing boxer shorts acting

like a potentially violent dick.

You want to get high?

No.

Come on, John, let's get high.

- I'm not getting high.

- Why?

Only potentially violent

d*cks get high?

- No.

- So, let's get high.

- I'm not getting high.

- Well, I am.

Fine.

What do you got going

on in that bag, Vince?

- Pot.

- How much?

A lot.

P for party.

A for all night long.

R for reefer.

T for turn me on.

Y for why not?

P-A-R-T-Y. Party, party.

Let's get high.

Jesus...

You know who's out here?

- Where?

- Here. Lansing.

Who?

Amy.

Amy Randall?

Yeah.

Tracy told me that

a couple of years ago.

When I found out

that you got this thing,

I looked her up on the Net...

and she's out here.

She's like an assistant

district attorney or something.

Did you call her?

I thought about it.

You should, man.

Especially now that Leah's...

- Out of the picture?

- Yeah.

I wonder if she's...

Still hot?

- Yeah.

- Not a very appropriate thing to say.

Yeah. Okay,

you know what?

Here's the thing

about being appropriate.

It's better to try to do that

than to be a complete a**hole.

The choice to respect people

is actually a good one,

despite people like you,

who insist on calling

fat people "fat" to their faces.

What if they are fat?

If they are fat,

they probably realize it

without you

having to remind them.

You know, it basically just...

comes down to having

a couple of manners.

Is that what it is?

Yep.

Then why did you ask if

she was still hot, Miss Manners?

Because she is.

She was.

That's... no, no,

that's not a bad word.

If the word is essentially

a compliment,

saying it isn't bad manners.

Human beings like

to be called attractive.

I'm not labelling Amy Randall

anything she doesn't know.

- I'm sure she's smart too.

- Well,

then I think

we should call her up.

And if we find out

she weighs 320 pounds,

I think that

we should say to her, "Gee,

we're really glad we dated you

in high school instead of now,

because back then,

you were really hot.

And now...

I'm sure

you realize about now."

- You know what, Vince?

- What?

Why don't you just

shut up for awhile?

Well, I see. So, I made a point,

so I should shut up.

No, it's that you like

being rude for the sake of it.

Either that or you do it to prove

nobody can make you be nice.

Either way, it gets tiresome.

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