Taxi 4 Page #4

Precautions.

Sir?

Wake up!

- There, he's better!

- That's great.

I'm pleased.

Where am I?

Marseille central police station.

And you guys are cops?

Soon we'll be lieutenants.

You'll be lieutenants soon?

- Bouches-du-Rhone?

- Flyswatter, first.

Stop hitting me!

- Stop!

- Listen...

There's been a terrible mistake

that is the fault of

the police in my country.

Albert Vandenbosh,

wanted by Interpol,

convicted in 17 countries.

Remember?

Of course.

That's the problem.

I'm not Vandenbosh,

but Eugene Triboulet, embassy attach.

He's trying to con us.

I've committed no crime.

I'm an attach.

You're a hell of a case!

Don't try to fool us.

Let's knock out a report for the chief.

He'll enjoy reading it.

I'll get on it.

Take this down.

Albert Vandenbosh...

Eugene Triboulet!

I met Vandenbosh.

Look at his photo.

I don't look anything like him.

He's a thug! Yeah, right.

Emilien?

Take a look.

Who's that?

Albert Vandenbosh.

See? I told you.

I know it's not your fault.

Release me

and I won't sue.

How'd you know Vandenbosh?

I don't actually know him.

I saw him at Bruges police station.

What were you doing?

Making a complaint.

I'd been carjacked.

What?

They carjacked my Toyota.

Dragged me out and drove away.

In Marseille,

it's called a Parisian.

We call it carjacking!

- Carjacking...

- Carjacking...

OK, what happened next?

I was in the chief's office.

Charming man...

When I had to go to the toilet.

You're always peeing!

Yes, since my prostate operation.

- Sorry.

- Then what?

In the stalls,

I ran into Vandenbosh,

shucking that horrible suit.

and forced me inside there.

I put up a fight,

but they soon gagged me

and from then on

I was powerless to resist.

You're very good.

But unfortunately for you,

you've met your match.

- Emilien?

- What now?

Check this out.

Belgian Embassy

Fenimore Eugene Tribloulet.

Cultural attach, Belgian Embassy.

Since 1996.

Since May 17, 1996, to be precise.

My appointment even got

a mention on the RTBF news.

- Is there a phone number?

- There.

Call them up.

Action!

Belgian Embassy,

how can I help?

Mr. Triboulet, please?

Sorry, he's been away for 3 days.

You don't know where he's gone?

To be honest, no.

He hasn't called in at all and

the whole Embassy's worried about him.

He's disappeared?

It seems so.

He was in Bruges in Tuesday

and got his car carjacked.

Since then, no news of him.

- Are you a relation?

- No.

That's awful.

Thanks, I'll call back.

What a balls-up!

Talk, damn you!

Take it easy!

I have my eye on them.

Don't burn the place down.

Nobody got any clothes

for our prisoner?

Check the closet.

The boss always keeps spares.

No kidding.

He can change 10 times a day.

Daniel! Good timing.

Is there a problem?

I'd like it if you could

sign the armistice.

Die!

Get lost!

Check this out.

Great!

I'd rather die in glory

than surrender in shame.

What's that?

Peace! War's over!

Okay, General?

I'm fine.

I may have lost a battle,

but I haven't lost the war.

Can the rematch wait?

They have homework to do.

Yes, of course.

On Sunday, perhaps.

That's right. The Lord's Day!

He'll be delighted.

And we'll have apple pie.

I'll take care of it.

You two, in the car!

You destroyed his living room!

He started it.

We wanted to play drafts.

He said only swishes play drafts.

Swishes? He said that?

You know what swishes do?

Sure.

It's when you squish flies.

Dad says they never stop swishing at work.

The flies have been bulking up.

They're bigger than bees.

He's well-built, your chief.

He's bulky, all right. But it suits you.

Not quite my style, but it'll do.

Better than that diving suit!

For sure.

Look at the size of that one!

- What are you on?

- Sorry!

There was a fly right there.

It was gigantic!

Giant flies and worms, I know.

Take some herb tea.

I swear! Where'd it go?

You're compulsive squishers!

You got us wrong.

It's because our chief

loves fly-fishing, you see?

It's his birthday soon,

so we're collecting for him.

It's a surprise.

Sorry, excuse me.

Can we give you a ride?

No, I'll take a cab.

Goodbye.

Our apologies, huh?

- Denial, are you here?

- Is Emilien done?

Another hour.

Tell him I'll get the pizzas

and meet him at mine.

Okay, I'll tell him.

- Bye.

- Thanks.

Fine timing!

I need a means of transport.

Where can I transport you?

Nice address.

- Can I ask a favor?

- Your wishes...

I know you go at your own pace here

because the sun makes you sleepy,

but the sun's gone down,

so I don't want to see the sights.

Would you kindly floor it

to make the transport brief?

Get it? Transport, port?

Marseille port?

Not bad, huh?

Belt up, smartass!

I beg your pardon.

- Gross!

- That stinks!

I apologize.

You got it all over me!

Have fun in Marseille!

Goodbye, ma'am.

Delta 1. The sardine's in the tin.

Over to you, Delta 3.

Here goes!

It beats that greasy outfit

that stank of sardines.

- You got the gear?

- Everything.

And the specialist?

It wasn't easy finding

good help here. Actually...

Serge! I didn't ask

how great you were,

but if you found a specialist.

The best!

Let me be the judge of that.

Sure. I said you'd want

to see for yourself.

That's him now!

Kiss or shake hands?

I prefer a kiss.

In Belgium, it's 3 times.

I'm honored to work for you.

- You know my work?

- "Work" is too ugly.

I prefer the word "deeds".

She's good!

When do we begin?

Not so fast.

I like flattery,

but I have a little test for you.

I'll close my eyes

and you must try,

if you can, to take something

without me noticing.

You have one minute!

I reset it.

It was a minute slow.

- She's really good.

- Is she in-house?

We've been through all the regions.

He's not interested.

There's only one solution.

- Here's the doc.

- Where's the bear?

His nose is dry.

He's not a bear.

He got a dose of bear tranquilizer.

I thought I'd never seen one like him.

I have an antidote.

It's for elephants,

but it works on bears.

Are you sure about this?

It's a question of aiming

just above the trunk

between the eyes.

I'm right here, chief.

What's wrong with him?

It's normal.

He needs to stay in his basket.

I must have dozed off.

What time is it?

That explains it.

I could eat a horse.

You want pizza?

- I wouldn't say no.

- Coming up.

I had an absurd dream

and you were in it.

You let the Belgian bamboozle you

and he walked free.

I have some weird dreams sometimes.

This can't be...

Emilien?

You won't believe what happened.

- You got fired?

- You know?

You get fired once a month.

This time it's serious.

Remember public enemy No. 1?

The guy transferred via Marseille?

- And?

- I let him walk free.

- This can't be true. I- No.

I mean, he escaped.

I'm such an idiot!

A real numbskull!

It's not just my skull.

All over.

I just keep messing up.

I could write

a dictionary of stupidity.

Don't exaggerate.

You bag some biggies.

The Santa gang? China Girl?

That was just luck!

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