Taxi 4 Page #3

- What kind?

- Wanted all over Europe.

They sent him here?

He'll learn to play boules.

No time.

He's flying out to Congo at 5 tomorrow.

If he's not escaped.

This isn't a police station,

it's a summer camp.

- Relax.

- If that's not what it was, then it's great.

Gibert wants us all in

to work overtime.

I can't get hold of Petra.

Always some damn top secret mission.

So, I'm stuck with the kid...

And could your friend Daniel

look after him?

Just a couple of hours

until I get off duty.

- 2 sugars in your coffee?

- Thank you.

When do I do any work?

I've had the kids all day.

Can't Lily help out?

She's in Paris

on a decorating course.

Decorating?

She's decided

to redecorate the garage.

- Yikes!

- You said it.

She wants the taxi to sleep outside.

Ouch!

You're a dead man!

It could be a good thing.

Lily puts flowers everywhere.

Pollen blocks up the carburetors.

I spend all weekend

cleaning them with cotton buds.

You have to learn to compromise.

You compromise with Petra?

No kidding.

- For example?

- My clothes.

When I was single,

I never tidied up.

Anything lying around,

Petra threw it out the window.

- Your shorts, too?

- Everything!

So, you learned to be tidier?

I bought a fishing rod.

Saved me 3 flights of stairs.

When can you pick Max up?

In 2 hours.

OK, you have 2 hours.

- You're a pal.

- Yeah, I know.

As it's just us guys tonight,

how about a TV dinner in the garage?

Deal!

You can keep them busy for 2 hours?

I have an idea.

- Granddad!

- My little soldiers!

Great to see you!

Wasn't it Sunday?

We were going to see a movie

and they insisted we stop by.

Granddad, I missed you!

I wanna stay with Leo.

My little lambs. I'm here now.

Granddad's here, don't worry.

They're so sensitive.

Yeah, their mothers are away.

They act hard but they're softies.

Couldn't you let them

stay a few hours?

They have homework.

He's been gone an hour.

Let's go!

Give him 5 more minutes, OK?

Turn it, that's right.

Now, lower it. Faster...

Faster?

Turn it...

That's right. Not bad.

You gotta get the rhythm.

We're done, chief.

Very clever!

- You lost me the game.

- Yes.

Not bad for a first try.

What's my score?

- Excuse me.

- Go ahead.

Hello?

It's Sukk. We coming in?

No, there's no need.

I'm done. I'll be right there.

OK, cool.

- What did he say?

- Shut up.

Sorry, I have to go.

You do?

I have a client waiting.

See you next month, same time?

With pleasure.

What have you done?

Are you nuts?

You said the main office.

I didn't argue.

An order's an order.

Very true.

You've done well, Alain.

Lose the cover.

We're not here to mollycoddle him.

It's pretty scary.

- Is he really so nasty?

- Even worse.

He'd kill a sheep with his ears.

Don't be afraid, young Emilien.

I did 5 years in the jungle,

living on spiders and

hippos for UNESCO.

A Belgian doesn't scare me.

We'll start

with some routine questions.

Pass me the documents.

Come on!

Full name?

Well? How did it go?

It's a madhouse in there.

It's freaky.

C'mon, drive!

So, he wants to play tough.

The Bouches-du-Rhone.

- Bouches-du-Rhone?

- The special treatment.

Answer the captain!

Calm, everybody.

Think you're smarter than me?

Very well.

In my drawer, my bush rifle.

I brought this back from Guyana.

A gift from the chief.

One dart will put an elephant

to sleep in 5 seconds.

Watch out, it's loaded.

Keep him in your sights.

If he moves again, fire!

No warning shot?

There's only one dart.

How can you fire a warning shot?

My mistake!

Back to the name. Full name?

What's that?

He's getting on my nerves!

That's not a pretty sight, believe me.

It's hard to talk with a ball-gag in.

Excuses!

If he wanted to, he could.

Look, chief.

He's trying to say something.

Just what we're waiting for.

Say we take out the gag,

just to see?

No! Give him a mile,

he'll take an inch.

That's what the slate's for, then.

- The slate?

- Look!

With a bit of chalk.

It's for him to communicate.

He can write his answers.

Go ahead.

Write! Full name!

He can't talk,

but I think he hears us.

Give him the chalk.

Watch he doesn't eat your leg.

Gently does it.

Very good.

Get out of the way quickly!

What did he write?

- Pipi.

- Pipi?

That his first or last name?

He needs the toilet.

Definitely not.

The old toilet ploy.

And he takes off out the window.

I've seen it 100 times.

He thinks we'll fall for that?

You must be kidding me.

They must've planned for this.

Look, there!

Look where?

You know how it works?

Sure! It's child's play.

There's a drainage pipe.

And a clearage pipe. Simple.

They showed us a training film

about new equipment.

Forget it.

Hook it up.

Keep him in your sights!

Get some of that! It's wicked.

A bit strong.

I see giant worms.

That connects to the water.

And that goes in the toilet.

Easy!

- It's all ready.

- You've scared me!

Give me that!

Sorry, I wasn't concentrating.

So, concentrate a bit harder.

Cops don't go playing with guns.

This isn't a funfair,

shooting for teddy bears.

This thing's for real bears.

Rule No. 1, when you're inside,

finger on the trigger guard,

gun held parallel, to avoid accidents.

My foot!

- Quick!

- Grab that chair!

- He's so heavy!

- Put him there! Like carrying 3 people.

Look at the state of him!

Did he smoke the carpet?

He took a hit of stuff for bears.

For bears?

- You give him that?

- I gave him nothing.

You morons! It's a dart, full of sedative.

It'd put a bear to sleep.

Wake him or he'll hibernate 6 months.

That'd make 6 quiet months.

Who signs your leave?

Sh*t! Chief! Wake up!

Time to get up!

Red alert!

Where were we?

We'd got to "full name".

All right, don't get

as dumb as Gibert!

Sorry.

Spend all day with him,

it starts to rub off.

Did you enjoy your pee,

my Belgian friend?

You did your Maneken-Piss?

Good one!

OK, enough.

He needed it.

Look at his legs.

That shouldn't happen.

It should drain away.

Looks like it's rising.

Impossible.

The water should run off.

Maybe you got the pipes mixed up.

I know I often do,

but I took extra care.

Drainage and clearage.

It's not that then.

We have a problem.

I think I'd better check.

I mixed them up again!

What an idiot!

I don't believe it!

Is the water going down?

Sure, look.

He had geysers for eyes.

Now, it's a trickle.

Let's get him out before he drowns.

No way, he's dangerous.

Don't fool with him.

If the Belgian drowns right here,

who's the fool?

It'd be like we killed him.

There must be

a fast-release system.

Look for a switch or a lever.

A chain?

A handle!

Quick, grab yours.

Ready?

He looks in a bad way.

Let's take his hood off.

No, you do it.

- Why me?

- Move it!

- It's a tight fit.

- Take it easy.

That's funny.

He's not how I imagined.

Oh, yeah?

I thought he'd have a face, y'know,

with huge teeth and jaws...

- A real yeti?

- More or less.

The meanest killers

look totally normal.

Wake him up.

What the heck?

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