Teaching Mrs. Tingle Page #4

You can do better.

Mrs. Tingle, we're trying. Work with us.

Okay, time for plan B.

And what would that be?

What's the matter, Mrs. Tingle?

Are you getting a little scared yourself?

Scared?

Oh, no, dear.

Things are just starting to get fun.

So, what's plan B? Jo, you watch Tingle.

I'm gonna go to school, take care of a few things,

and I'll be back with plan B.

Now, make sure she eats something

and immediately gag her.

You got it? And don't let her mess with your head.

Don't worry. The sow is mine.

I'll be back after school.

So, um, like, you wanna

hang with me today?

I should probably hit

school, right, Leigh Ann?

We don't want to look obvious.

Come on, I'll give you a ride. Come on.

Okay.

Okay, class, I'm gonna be

filling in for a couple of days...

while Mrs. Tingle is out sick.

Yes, Trudie will Mrs. Tingle be okay?

Oh, yeah, it's just a bug that's going around.

Deadly bug, I hope.

Oh, God, I'm bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

I can't believe you don't have a TV.

I mean, it's like not having toilet paper.

I could be at home, watching Sally Jesse...

or Oprah or Jerry.

Where else are you gonna see...

Man Has Sex Change To Become Lesbian?

You think about that.

Oh, forget it.

Hey, you!

Oh, where'd you come from?

Oh, you're such a good little boy.

What's your name? What's your

All right. Oh, God, I'm bored.

What a lovely day for an exorcism!

The sow is mine! Screw you!

Nimi. Why you do this to me? Nimi.

Why?

Take me! Take me! Take me!

Repeat it! Take me! Take me! Repeat it!

Nimi. Why? Why? Take me!

You really should get a TV.

Study hard, Leigh Ann.

Plan B?

Basically, unless we're able to convince a

Court of law that we were the victims here,

we're looking at criminal assault

and conspiracy to cover up a crime.

We were victims. That woman

drove us to drastic measures.

Luke, we shot her with an arrow,

we tied her to her bed,

and we have held her captive

for the last 1 8 hours.

I think we've bypassed drastic measures.

I'm sorry, Leigh Ann.

Look, it's not your fault.

I mean, it is, but that's irrelevant now.

What if I had a way to convince her?

Okay, let's see.

Let's get this thing off of you. Ah, there we go.

Now, no biting.

Okay. Swim, swim, swallow.

Thank you.

You know, you could have

avoided this whole headache.

We both know Leigh Ann's not a cheater.

Such a loyal friend.

Tell me, don't you ever tire...

of playing second banana

to little Miss Perfection?

Hey, I'm nobody's banana.

I have Star quality.

Then how come Leigh Ann

snagged the leading Man?

What, you mean Luke?

Look, Leigh Ann can't stand Luke.

She thinks he's a loser.

Oh, Miss Jordan.

As an actress, you really must learn...

to read between the lines.

No, no, no. She would never play me.

I'm her best friend

and she knows I'm into him.

Betrayal hurts, Miss Jordan.

I'd prepare that little

heart of yours if I were you.

Leigh Ann Mr. Churner.

What's her gag doing off?

How was school?

you're on the wrong side

of glib, Mrs. Tingle.

Should I be afraid, Leigh Ann?

Quivering in fear?

Tell me the appropriate reaction.

I'll work on it.

Any thoughts on plan B? Downstairs.

What do you think Black mail?

Dirty pictures.

I'll get into bed with Tingle,

and we'll use them to threaten her.

Oh, how scandalous. I love it.

do you think it'll work?

Yes. No.

Oh, it is wicked.

And wrong and immoral, and we

So is she. Leigh Ann,

you have always done the right thing,

and the best thing it's

gotten you is number two.

It is time for you to listen to that

little voice inside of your head.

Listen to it this time, for all of our sakes.

We're not gonna hurt her. We're just

gonna present her with options.

This can't be the only way

to get into college.

Okay, this is what you have to do.

You just need to think of this as if

you're an actress playing a role.

if you commit to the part and you

believe that it'll work, it'll work.

just this once, Leigh.

for your future. All of ours.

I don't even have a future,

but I know I don't want to go to jail.

think about your mother.

I mean, this would kill her.

Well, if we're gonna go down,

we might as well make it count, right?

Okay Operation Scandal underway.

Now, we need, uh, a plan.

We need supplies.

We need one naked high school student.

Sorry, Luke, but... camera doesn't lie.

A bottle of wine and I'll be fine.

All right. I'll go back and get a camera.

Luke, you're in charge of feeding the devil,

and, Leigh

senior prophecy

everything is gonna work out okay.

I promise.

I'll be back in a couple of hours

with the camera.

All right. I'll go grab some burgers.

I didn't know if you liked

mayo or mustard, so I got it plain.

But I have these packets, so

You want ketchup on your fries?

you're very good at this.

I suspect you've had practice.

Tell me, do you clean up

after your drunken father...

when he passes out each night?

You go straight for the jugular

every time, don't you?

May I have some wine?

Cabernet.

Rich and fill bodied.

Rather bold selection, Luke.

That's the first time you've ever

called me by my first name.

What happened to Mr. Churner?

You should keep in mind, Luke,

that when this becomes a police

report, you have the least to lose.

Don't worry about me.

I don't care what happens.

Oh. of course.

Your concern begins

and ends with Leigh Ann.

Don't worry, Luke.

She's attracted to you. I can tell.

No, Leigh Ann's pretty repulsed by me.

Oh, come on, Luke.

You've gotten one or two

cheerleaders drink in your time.

You know a thing or two about women.

Cleopatra rebuked Anthony...

simply because she desired him.

Nah, it's different.

Leigh Ann and I had our moment, and it passed.

Tell me about it.

Back in the tenth grade, there was this... party...

where Leigh Ann and I

kind of hooked up once.

The keyword being once.

I blew it.

She was uncomfortable at the party.

Little social dysfunction...

as a result of studying way too much.

She was hiding out in the bathroom.

I kept her company and we kind of...

had our own little party, you know?

Sounds incredibly Zhivago.

Yeah, but...

the next day, she acted like I was diseased.

I guess the guilt set in.

I never had another chance.

it was over before it began.

Guess I wasn't part of her master plan.

She's been kinda wild on me ever since.

She done yet? Jo Lynn's back.

Enter Ophelia.

U h, yeah, pretty much.

Places, everyone. The plot is about to thicken.

I, uh, opted for the disposable.

Now, I thought I'd keep this blocking

fairly simple. Mrs. Tingle,

thought I'd keep you right

where you are, straps and all.

Going for a whole bondage theme.

And, like, my man... drop 'em.

Look. are you sure you want

to go through with this?

Yeah.

What was that?

Sh*t.

Who is it?

Coach Wenchell. What's he doing here?

Quick, gag her. Give it up, Leigh Ann. it's over.

Mrs. Tingle, shut up. The coach is gonna come

Are the doors locked? Yeah.

What do we do now?

Nothing. He's going away.

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