Teen Spirit Page #6

---

And it's hard

to give up.

You wouldn't know.

Obviously.

Sorry. That slipped.

Oh, my gosh!

Of course!

You're that

mousy brainiac

Who skipped

a grade.

That's me. Smart...

And mousy.

Well, let me just say

you look a lot better now.

But that purple eye shadow

- not helping.

She's right about

the eye shadow.

Go! Save lisa.

Boy, it is great

in here.

You've got the

candles over there.

We've got you and me

right here.

We've got my parents still

out of town till Sunday.

Lisa, we need to talk.

Not now.

Okay.

No, no, you're fine.

Oh.

Seriously.

It's very important.

Now is not a time

for talking.

Oh, yeah.

Wow, that was nice.

I'm not leaving,

you know.

Is something wrong?

No, no, it's perfect.

You're perfect.

I can't stand what

I've done to you.

I've ruined

your life.

My life is fine,

thank you.

Mine, too.

You're self-centered

and shallow.

And it's all

because of me.

And you'll continue to keep

getting more self-centered

And more shallow

unless you stop right now.

I'm not stopping.

Me, neither.

You need to stop. I can't

let you become another me.

So, that's what this is?

You're jealous.

I've become a better you

than you were,

And you can't stand it.

Huh?

Not you.

You thought,

"let me work my magic

On the pathetic ugly duckling

and make her almost presentable. "

But I've surpassed you.

I'm better, hotter,

Smarter... Alive.

You know...

Lise...

You're acting

kind of crazy.

It's hot.

Yeah.

This is important.

If you become prom queen,

It will ruin you.

I need to be crazy

for just one more second.

Okay.

I'm going to become

prom queen,

And you're gonna go

to heaven.

It's a win-win.

Now get out of here.

That's it.

Okay.

This is not hot

anymore.

Uh...

Don't worry about lisa.

I mean... I'm fine.

Nick, honey, we can't

have sex tonight.

Why don't you

just go home?

Whoa. Okay.

Um...

But can we do it

tomorrow night?

Sure. Whatever.

Right after prom.

Just go home.

Okay.

But I'll be

warming up.

Mmm.

Okay.

I'm so sorry I did this

to you, lisa.

Where are we?

No place.

And too far

out of town

To get back

for the prom.

What? Why?

I'm doing this

for you, lisa.

Wait, you're doing this

for you, too.

Don't you want

to go to heaven?

Not that much.

No! No! No!

Don't leave me here!

She's not stopping me.

I'm getting to that prom.

I have lots of friends.

I'm popular.

All I have to do

is call one of them,

And they'll be crawling all over

each other to come rescue me.

Does that phone work?

it does if you

got change.

Nick, it's lisa.

Hey, crazy lady.

Hi, sweetie.

No time to explain, but I need you

to drive out oak springs, highway 7

And pick me up.

I'm surrounded

by dead things.

Oak springs. Damn,

that's a long way.

I know. And it's getting

late, so you have to start now.

Oh, yeah, babe, jeez...

If only I could.

But I don't want to die. Die?

Yeah, I just entered

the nova star,

And if you quit

before you make overlord,

They cut off your head and you

have to start all over again.

What the hell

are you talking about?

The nova star.

Babe, this is big.

We have to be at prom

in six hours.

Okay, can we just

meet there?

You know what?

Never mind.

Wait, we're still having

sex afterwards, right?

Of course.

No! No, my head! Ohh!

Oh, thank god.

Paisley, it's lisa.

I need you to come

and get me in oak springs.

You're getting

your hair colored.

Of course.

Curls before girls.

Who doesn't live by that?

No, I'll just call dakota.

Oh, they're with you.

No, of course her curls

are important, too.

Far more important

than me being stranded

In the middle of nowhere.

Hi. It's lisa sommers.

Emily. It's lisa sommers.

Listen, thank you for that invite

to go shopping and grab a latte.

But if you really

want to bond,

Don't you think spending four

or five hours in a car would be-

Hello?

Hola, isabelle.

Really?

Doesn't word

travel fast?

Yeah, it's very funny.

Ha ha.

Listen, I don't suppose

you'd be up for-

Please stop laughing.

You're so damn slow.

Look, tarantino, we're a

little shorthanded today.

Give me a second.

No personal

phone calls.

Bite me.

Hello?

Oh, thank god.

Lisa?

Okay, calm down.

It's okay.

We'll be there.

Oh!

Thank you guys so much

for coming to get me.

I thought I was popular,

but nobody would come.

They were all getting

their hair done.

I can't believe

how stupid I was.

I can't believe the way

I treated you guys.

I'm so sorry.

Especially you, raj.

You should be.

He got suspended,

And he has to perform

community service

Fixing carlita's yard.

You're worse than amber.

You went from zero to

satan in, like, two days.

That's what I've been telling

you. She was possessed.

Oh, right. The great

ghost bimbo from beyond.

I wasn't possessed.

This was all me.

See? No ghost.

No, there's a ghost.

There was. Or-

oh, my god. Amber.

I've got to save her.

You're about

a week late, remember?

"give me that crown!"

zzzzzt! "aaaah!"

Colin, I need you to get

me to the prom right now.

Come on!

Hello?

Mr. Purgatory man?

Miss pollock.

The prom isn't

till this evening.

We can't send you upstairs

until it's official.

I'm not gonna be

going upstairs.

Really? I was getting

such positive reports.

It didn't work out.

I failed.

So, send me,

I guess... Down?

Are you sure

about this?

I think you could

pull this off.

I'm sure.

Okie-dokie.

Your ride is here.

I thought all the fun

people were going to hell.

A knife fight?

Two dead?

That's kindergarten

stuff.

I sold high-risk mortgages

to homeless people,

Only so I could repo

their new abodes

And make them

homeless again.

What did you do,

blondie?

I was...

Mean to everyone.

Hmm.

Rookie.

Exquisite. Fabulous.

No drinking.

Arrive alive.

Miss sommers... What

happened to your shoes?

Oh. Oh.

Nothing. It-

it's a thing I'm trying.

Well, you're certainly

cutting it close.

They're about to start

voting. Go check it.

Thank god. Wait,

I need to talk to you.

Raj is innocent. I was the

one who sent out the emails

About carlita's party.

Okay, bye.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

little missy.

If that's the case, you're

suspended immediately,

And ineligible

from prom queen.

No, you have

to let me run.

Please,

it's so important.

Hey, hey, hey.

No underwear showing!

Where'd she-

What's up?

Did you guys get dressed

in the dark?

Whatever happened

to tuxedos?

Woman over speaker:

Attention life losers-

Please keep your hands

and feet inside the shuttle

At all times.

In a moment, we'll be entering

the outer reaches of hell.

As the temperature rises,

Please refrain from

screaming and pleading.

Trust us-

We've heard it all.

Can I get your attention,

everybody?

Can I get your attention

real quick?

Hello. All right.

Let me just remind everyone

That lisa sommers is no longer

eligible as a candidate.

So, that leaves...

Well, just carlita cache.

All right, well, good luck...

Everybody!

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes