Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

Prince Kenshin,

you must turn back.

Return with us at once.

No!

Give up your weapon.

Do not harm him.

Take him prisoner.

No! You will have to

kill me first.

Take him to the castle.

Mitsu!

Beat it.

All right.

Rock 'n' roll!

Turtle tantrum.

Hold it.

Oh, Raph, come on.

What's going on, Raph?

Nothing.

Have patience, my son.

What are we doing this for?

Day after day, practicing,

killing ourselves, for what?

Oh, Raphael.

Nobody appreciates us.

Nobody sees us.

Nobody even knows

we're alive down here!

Hey, guys.

How's it going?

Hi. Fine.

Good hair day?

Brought you some stuff.

I love stuff.

Goodies!

Later.

Let's see what's in the bags.

OK, here are the keys

to my apartment...

somewhere... stop peeking!

No peeking.

I'm not peeking.

I'm spelunking for pork rinds.

Don't lose them.

God, I need this vacation.

Take us with you, April.

Come on, take us with you.

Sorry, sorry,

sorry, sorry, guys.

My suitcases are very full.

Oh, too bad.

Hey, I didn't forget

about you guys.

I bought a lot of fun stuff

at the flea market for you.

All right!

OK, where's Raph?

He's in another funk.

Again?

A major funk.

Maybe this'll cheer him up.

Hey, smooth.

Pretty cool, huh?

Nifty lid!

All right, this is for Mikey.

All righty.

Hey, it's a lampshade.

Let's see. What else

do we have here?

And for Leonardo,

there you go.

- And Donatello...

- Japanese swords!

This'll keep you

busy while I'm gone.

Thanks.

All right, and for Splinter...

where is he anyway?

He's doing rat stuff.

Found this...

actually, I don't

really know what it is.

Some kind of a weird

antique or something.

I think it's Japanese.

Elvis Presley in "Blue Hawaii."

You're so cute.

A super androdyne

radio with triode tubes!

Boss!

Hey, what's that, April?

Some kind of weird

Japanese antique...

egg timer.

Kenshin, I forbid you

to leave the castle.

You have disgraced me.

It is you who have

disgraced me, Father...

with your unjust war.

Walker.

Walker, you're alive.

Yes, I'd say that

was a fair assumption.

Survived a shipwreck, built

some new ones, and, well...

here I am, hungry again.

Niles!

Move along, lads.

Your sentries, I believe.

Must be a great comfort

to know...

how well-protected

you are, Lord Norinaga.

Kenshin, inside!

Now!

Children are such

a pest, aren't they?

Especially when they

side with the enemy.

Oh, dear. Damn nuisance.

I just keep birds now.

Little finches.

Shut up, Niles.

Right. I have three ships

sitting in your harbor...

Ioaded down with powder

and muskets...

absolutely guaranteed

to win your ambitious war.

Kappa.

"Open wide the gates of time."

Uh... guys?

Guys!

What's going on?

Wait a second here.

Lay low!

Cover your face!

Feels like tornado weather!

No way!

She's a man!

Kappa!

You have that effect on people,

don't you, master?

Out cold.

Wakey, wakey. Wake up.

Hey, guys, these clothes

look familiar to you?

Wake up. Wake up...

weird-looking

James Dean dude.

I think he's coming around.

Kappa!

Cappa? Cappuccino?

Nah, it makes me hyper.

What's a kappa?

Ancient Japanese demon.

Some were good,

and some were very bad.

Demons.

Hey, he speaks English!

Where's he from anyways?

Well, judging from sword,

I'd say feudal Japan.

That explains why

he speaks our language.

See, England started

trading with Japan...

All right, already.

How'd you get in April's pants?

I want to know what

happened to April.

It seems the scepter

has magic powers...

and somehow transported

them both through time.

Hold on, dudes.

If April's back in feudal Japan,

does that mean we, like...

have to ride that scepter

back through time to get her?

You have no choice, my son.

Awesome! But do you think

they had pizza back then?

Get out of town.

What's going on, Captain?

Ignorant, superstitious fools.

We was just wondering!

Them, you moronic toad!

They seem to think the woman's

some kind of witch.

She's some sort of a witch!

Shut up.

Some sort of a witch!

Would you keep quiet!

Sorry?

Look, I took Spanish

in high school.

Hey, easy.

Next time, ask me

to turn it off.

Where is my son, witch?

Hey, I really don't have

a clue, OK...

so why don't you just

drop this macho stuff?

Lord Norinaga, allow me.

The Daimyo and his court

believe that you're a witch...

who has somehow managed

to spirit away his son.

Is this true?

Yeah, it's true.

I am a witch.

See that?

I shrunk four

incredibly cool guys...

and I locked them in there.

Really?

Then go ahead, witch, shrink me.

Don't push me, Ruffles...

or I'll melt you into

a steaming puddle of puke.

She has no power.

Let me question her

about your son.

Then you can roast her,

toast her...

chop her into

tiny little pieces...

and feed her to the birds.

No. I want her to suffer.

Let's see here.

If I subtract the cosine

from the inverted integer...

then I can take the flangeler

and put that here.

That's it!

Of course!

It's equal mass displacement!

See, guys, for every one of us

that goes back...

someone from the past

will come here.

But the problem is...

that switch will only work

under one condition.

You know what that is?

Tuesdays?

Groundhog's Day?

Great.

It will only work

if the magic travelers...

each have the same weight.

Bingo. Gee, you guys do have

a good educational system, huh?

Step back, dudes.

I just brought us

some heavy artillery.

Donny!

Long time!

Leo, how's it going?

Hey, Casey, welcome back.

Hey, Raph, how'd your

brain implant go, good?

What? Funny.

Anyway, enough of this

camaraderie.

When do we get together

and bust some skulls?

Hold it there, Casey.

You're not gonna do

any head-breaking this time.

Sorry, guy.

What was that?

You want to run that

by me again?

How come?

'Cause we need somebody

to stay here with Splinter...

in case the time bandit

here decides to flip out.

If it ain't too much

of an inconvenience.

It'll be a serious honor.

It is time to go, my sons.

Donatello, we shall wait

by the scepter...

every twelve hours

as you have instructed.

Correct, Master Splinter,

but the space-time continuum...

will be out of phase

after sixty hours.

Wait a second.

Time-out.

What does all that mean

in American?

If we don't come back

in 2 1/2 days...

we're turtle soup.

Bummer.

Why don't you get

a real job, cue ball?

Hey, hey. You know what?

This is a Rolex.

It's a gold Rolex.

You want it?

Let me out of here!

If you stay with Walker,

you die.

You come with me, you live.

Lock him up, lads.

You! Up, fool, up.

Well, well, well.

What have we got here?

Give us a kiss, duckling,

while you still got your lips.

You're not the first one

to do that to me.

There you are, Mr. Whit.

You can lead your stinking

mutiny in here!

Good night, me little

tweety birds.

Come on, lads.

Goodbye, Whit!

Casey?

Yeah, you look familiar, too.

The scepter will be

in the temple...

which means you will be

replaced by four priests.

Nothing to it.

Now we must please try to hurry.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes