Temps Page #6

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Letting me stay here this long.

Uh...

Thank your parents for me.

I'm gonna go... Get packing.

- You're still welcome to

swing by and hang if you want.

- Well, I have no one else,

so...

- Do you want me to make

some home-made ice cream?

-Sea lion war!

Sometimes they go at it

all night.

I just lay here listening.

Arf, arf! Arf, arf!

I love it! This is my PBS!

Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf!

I love it!

- So I've never really

worked with butt plugs before.

Is there anything I should know?

- We pride ourselves

on being a safe zone

for people to explore

and express their sexuality.

What we don't want

is those dirty raincoat-ers

coming in, looking at our boxes

for an hour,

and then going to jerk it

in the alleyway.

- So my job is to keep browsing

and masturbating to a minimum.

-Sh*t, those have been recalled.

- So how long

you been working here?

- About a year. But it's not

like I'm gonna move up.

I've already hit the glass

ceiling.

-You mean the mirrored ceiling.

-Oh, you got it.

- You are bad!

I gotta watch out for you.

So bad.

- Bet you get hit on relentlessly

at a place like this.

- Yeah, but no one

ever takes me seriously.

But it's not like I'm looking

for anything serious, so...

- Thank you! That's the kind

of girl I'd love to go out with.

- You would love to go out

with me?

-I was just saying.

- Oh, my gosh,

are you serious right now?

You...

You better not be kidding!

You're not kidding, right?

You're serious, right?

You're serious?!

-I mean...

Would you want to go out

with me?

-Yes! Yeah, I would!

I do! Yes, I do.

Yes.

You're not kidding, right?

-I mean, it's probably not wise,

seeing as, like, you're my boss.

-Oh.

Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, that, yeah.

-But, like, if you want to.

- Yes! Oh, my gosh, please!

Yes, yes, are you serious?

I want to go out and drink.

Oh, I might have to fire you

first, though.

- Huh?

- I'm kidding, I won't.

I'm kidding.

But anyway, I don't know.

So.

Wow. Okay.

Yes.

-Yo, Curtis?

Knock, knock.

You would not believe the job

I just got.

Curtis?

Curtis?

-Natalie Simmons is dead.

-Wait.

Wait, high school

Natalie Simmons?

The cheerleader with the wonky

Isabella Rossellini teeth?

-She was eaten by a bear.

- Natalie Simmons

was eaten by a bear?

-In Shoshone national park.

It's a statistical

improbability,

yet Natalie Simmons

was eaten by a bear.

-Wow.

Sh*t, I really liked her.

I liked her teeth.

- She was right next

to Allison in the yearbook.

-That's a strange coincidence.

- Death is working its way

outward from the "S'S,"

and eventually,

it's going to get us all.

You just never know when a bear

is gonna pop out and eat you.

- You could avoid going to places

where bears are.

-The proverbial bear.

Eaten by the proverbial bear!

I missed you, too.

I wonder what Stephanie's up to

right now.

- When's the last time

you talked to her?

-When we saw her at the bar.

I befouled it, man.

I totally befouled it.

- She's probably at home,

wondering about you.

- See these new

Rossignol super 7s?

Supposed to cut powder

like butter.

- You're still planning

on mount hood?

It's the only thing

I have left to look forward to.

So... Uh...

-Unh-unh. No.

I'll miss you, Natalie Simmons.

- Yes.

- Come on.

- Ooh. God.

- See?

-Jesus.

- We're gonna have so much fun.

- So much. All the fun.

- Can dress each other up.

- Dress up each other?

We should probably get some help

though, because...

-Hey, dude.

- Yes. Hello, I can help you.

Can I help you?

- Um, we were looking

to upgrade her vibrator.

-She currently owns a vibrator.

Um, do you know, like, what size

or do you know what kind?

-It's a little one.

It makes like a noise like...

Mee! Mee!

- Right, and it's just not quite

getting the job done, right?

Meee! Meee!

Isn't quite doing it.

And you need this device?

You can't bring her

to completion on your own?

- Oh, no,

it's like a new addition.

Like, we're...

When she likes to go down.

Down... Down there.

-She... she goes down for you?

-Right, like a... like a blowie.

-Oh.

- So you got...

So you got one that goes "meee!"

And you want to go, like

"rah!" Or "errr!"

While she's... Performing.

- Yes.

- Let me ask you something.

How long

have you two been together?

- Not important.

- Eight years.

-Eight years.

Wow!

- We recently just took a break,

and i-i think

it really strengthened us.

- Yeah, made me realize

what's important.

Which is why we are here

trying out some fun new toys.

Anyways, when you have someone

like her, you gotta...

You gotta fight for it.

- Absolutely.

But now you're having trouble

sexually satisfying each other,

so you're here

buying a little help.

Okay, let's see what we can do.

Follow me.

Okay, so I'm guessing

from your description

that this is the bad boy

she had before.

-Wow, yeah, man, that's it.

- Okay, so let me direct

your attention to this bad boy.

It has all the latest

in dildonic technology.

Variable speeds,

you can go from meee!,

to rah!,

to dugga-dugga-dugga-dugga,

depending on your... excuse me,

her desire for stimulation.

-Uh... I don't know.

Babe, I don't know.

What do you think?

It's your orgasm.

What do you think?

- I think while you and the guy

from "police academy" decide

which sound effect

works best on my clitoris,

I'm gonna go across the street

to Chipotle,

hope that they have alcohol,

and go get drunk in my car.

- "Police academy"?

- Why don't I show you a couple

other things

I think she might like.

Pretty sure I know her type.

Let's start with some handcuffs.

-All right, all right.

- You give him blow jobs?

- Hello!

- Ha! You give him blowies?

I thought you don't do that.

- I don't. It was something

special that I did with him.

-Do you even have lockjaw?

-That's what made it special.

I suffered for his pleasure.

- Oh, god!

- It was personal!

I don't know

what you want me to say.

- I miss you.

- It's hard to miss someone

when you're busy

living in the moment.

Sorry.

I was trying to be somebody

I'm not.

I like being in a relationship.

I like being in something

that's defined.

-I'm... I'm ready for that now.

Let's do it.

Let's do it, I'm ready. Okay?

- It's so funny how you feel

this way after I leave.

- Sometimes you have to have

something and lose it

in order to understand

why you want or need it.

- And that's how I feel

about Josh.

- Please, just give this

another chance.

I know we have something, okay,

and you know we have something.

Please,

just give this another chance.

I-i-i this is gonna be

a clean start, okay?

Let's just... let's just do...

I'll change the...

I'll change the relationship

status. I'll accept it.

We'll... let's do it.

Let's do it your way.

-Jefferson...

It's over.

-Stop it!

Don't say it's over.

I am here, and I'm asking you

for another chance.

This does not have to be over.

- Jefferson!

- This can be a clean start.

No, this can...

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