Temps Page #5

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I mean, how can you sit there

celebrating two morons

who are just gonna be divorced

in five years.

And you don't

just invite yourself

to meet somebody's dad,

by the way.

If I wanted you

to meet that a**hole,

I would have invited you.

I would have... I would have

invited you to meet him.

That's personal, okay?

- I'm sorry.

I didn't even realize

that you felt that way.

- And what the f***

are you sending me

a relationship request for?

Guess what, Steph,

the world of social media

does not give two shits

if we are in a relationship

or complicated

or... or whatever.

And I'm sorry if I refuse

to take what we have

and shout it to cyberspace

so people can like it

or comment on it

whenever we put up

a photo of ourselves!

And then when we

inevitably break up,

have those exact same people

like that status.

You just over-step...

A lot, and I think

you should work on that.

-Excuse me?!

-I'm saying this because I care.

- What do we have, Jefferson?

What do we have?

- W... we have this.

We have us.

Christ, what do you want, Steph?

I feel like I've been expressly

clear about what I want,

and you're the one

who's gone changing the deal.

-That's life!

Things grow and change

and evolve!

Relationships grow

and change and evolve.

I can't do this anymore.

I don't want

to be just a f*** buddy.

- F*** buddy?

We're not even f***ing.

You're leaving, remember?

-Oh, I am so done with this.

And you know what?

It might shock you,

but I'm actually looking for

something way more than a label.

I'm looking for

a f***ing partner in crime.

- That you can just

get tired of and dump?

-I am not your ex-girlfriend!

I'm not gonna go hide

in some other man's penis!

-Tell that to Josh.

- You are

a self-fulfilling prophesy.

-Another label, thank you.

-Go after here.

Okay, don't, that's cool.

-Mmm!

This was heavenly!

-What I tell you?

Cupcakes are the panacea

for all ailments.

- Yeah, but now instead

of feeling sad, I feel guilty.

Fat.

- You'll get over it.

- What the hell's

a panacea anyway?

-It's Greek for cure-all.

-How do you know that?

- I'm Greek.

- No, you're not.

Are you?

- Half.

-Maybe he's right.

Maybe we are too young

to be thinking about the future.

We should just

live in the moment.

-No.

Spending your twenties,

like, sowing your wild oats

or finding yourself or whatever

is a bunch of malarkey.

All that leaves you is

a biological clock

ticking in tall boots,

going on eharmony dates

with men in their 40s who still

collect action figures.

- Did you just say "malarkey"?

- I'm bringing it back.

You know what we should do?

We should get dressed

and call some boys and go out.

- After this.

- Attagirl.

-5, 6, 7, 8.

One, three...

5, 6, 7, 8.

And good.

Lift up.

Stop, stop, stop.

Please, stop.

Everyone, come here a second.

- That's great, but maybe

we should save the accounting

for the apartment.

Why don't we just go

to mount hood next year?

- Please, if there's one thing

we are definitely doing

this year,

it is going to mount hood.

- Are we maybe running away

from something?

- Sometimes you have to

have something and lose it

to know why you wanted it

or needed it.

-Are you talking about beer?

'Cause I could really use

a beer.

- Well, if you consider

my movie collection a shrine...

Uh-oh.

-Uh-oh, what?

-Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Who's the guy she's with?

- A guy.

- That a**hole!

I bet he sells things.

-We're all selling something.

-Yep.

- That was kind of funny?

- Yeah.

-A lot of disinfectant.

-Hey, hey, hey.

Amy, good to see you.

-No.

-Oh, you must be Matt.

No, no, Jason.

Ryan?

- Okay.

- So many, I get 'em confused.

What are you doing here?

- Same thing everyone else

is doing here, I guess.

- Pretending to have a good time

in your desperate attempt

to convince ourselves we belong?

-We're having a few drinks.

What are you doing here?

- Pretending to have a good time

in a desperate attempt

to convince myself I bel...

- Have you met Blake?

- Hey, what's up, guy?

How's sales?

- Oh, pretty good.

- Oh, really,

'cause I don't see any coffee.

And we all know

that coffee is for closers.

Stupid "Glengarry Glen Ross"...

Great movie,

one of her favorites if you're

trying to get in her pants.

Hey, can I...

Can we talk privately?

- Do you mind?

- No, he's good. Come on.

- I have no idea who Matt is.

- Who's the guy?

- Just a guy.

- Just a guy, huh?

- Just a guy.

Sensitive, intelligent,

sense of humor, cute smile.

- Cute butt?

- Oh, you noticed, too?

- Oh, that thing

is impossible to miss.

That's a Pilates ass,

by the way.

I can't believe you brought

a date here to our bar.

- I just met him,

he's not a date.

And I didn't realize

this was our bar.

- You know, I remember

when I was just the guy.

-Yeah.

Sad, 'cause

now you're just an a**hole.

- You know, from the start...

From the start,

I said that if this happened

between us,

that... This would happen.

-I'm glad he's here,

'cause now I won't make

some stupid mistake with you.

- That's good.

- It's good.

- Good.

- It's good.

- What kind of stupid mistake

are you talking about?

Probably shouldn't have had

that extra beer.

- Maybe me focus on that

instead of mount hood this year.

- What? What are you

talking about right now?

-Don't be mad.

I just...

Want to spend more time

trying to find myself.

- That's what we do

on the mountain.

-Right, no, we do.

But I think I'm growing

beyond the mountain.

- Beyond the mountain?

- Plus, my parents

are hassling me

about not paying rent,

especially for

the three or four months

that I'm not even home.

-So get a sublet.

That's what people do,

they get sublets.

I'll help you, okay?

- Right.

No, I know.

Also... I want to take

some more dance classes,

and that's pretty spendy.

-Dance classes?

This ski trip

is all I've wanted all year.

It is all I've been working

these mind-numbing,

soul-sucking jobs for.

And you're just gonna take it

away from me so you can dance?!

-You can have the money.

- It's not about the money,

a**hole!

It's about the f***ing plan!

You had a plan,

and you're not sticking to it!

- How am I an a**hole

for just not doing

what you want me to do?!

- F*** you!

-Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, f***!

Oh, yeah. Oh! Oh!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, yeah!

I want it!

- Sorry, is it too loud?

Need me to headphone it?

I'll headphone it.

-Oh, hey, man.

-Dropped your sh*t.

-Wow. Cleaning.

-I'm having a friend come visit.

- We're having a friend come?

- Uh, from Canada.

I told her she could stay here,

so...

You know, she's going to come

in just a little while.

- From Canada.

- Yep.

- You need me to leave

for a while or...

-Yeah, or...

Yeah.

-You need me to move out?

-I think.

Maybe.

Yeah.

-Oh, that's cool.

That's cool, I get it.

All right, yeah.

You've been...

Very generous...

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