Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny

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- Ready, Kage?

- Ready.

Let's do this.

Fatty.

Check. Uggh.

Bean and cheese burrito.

Bean and chee...

Tenacious sound check initiated.

Engage Kage!

Aah!

Ha ha ha ha ha! High-five!

Hnnh!

OK.

Two, three...

## A long-ass f***ing time ago

in a town called Kickapoo ##

## There lived a humble family,

religious through and through ##

## But hey,

there was a black sheep ##

## And he knew just what to do ##

## His name was Young JB

and he refused to step in line ##

## A vision he did see of

f***ing rocking all the time ##

## He wrote a tasty jam

and all the planets did align ##

## Oh, the dragon's balls

were blazing ##

## As I stepped into his cave ##

## Then I sliced

his f***ing cockles ##

## With my long and shiny blade ##

## 'Twas I who

f***ed the dragon ##

## Fucka lye, sing, fucka loo ##

## And if you try

to f*** with me ##

## Then I shall f*** you too ##

## Gotta get it on

in the party zone ##

## I gots to shoot a load

in the party zone ##

## Gotta lick a toad

in the party zone ##

## Gotta suck a choad

in the party zone ##

Aaaah!

## You disobeyed my orders, son,

Why were you ever born? ##

## Your brother's 10 times

better than you ##

## Jesus loves him more ##

## This music

that you've played for us ##

## Comes from

the depths of hell ##

## Rock & roll's

the Devil's work ##

## He wants you to rebel ##

## You'll become

a mindless puppet ##

## Beelzebub

will pull the strings ##

## Your heart

will lose direction ##

## And chaos it will bring ##

## You better shut your mouth,

you better watch your tone ##

## You're grounded for a week

with no telephone ##

## Don't let me hear you cry,

don't let me hear you moan ##

## You gotta praise the Lord

when you're in my home ##

## Dio, can you hear me?

I am lost and so alone ##

## I'm asking for your guidance ##

## Won't you come down

from your throne? ##

## I need the tight compadre

who will teach me how to rock ##

## My father thinks you're evil,

but, man, he can suck a cock ##

## Rock is not the Devil's work,

it's magical and rad ##

## I'll never rock as long as

I am stuck here with my dad ##

## I hear you,

brave young Jables ##

## You are hungry for the rock ##

## But to learn

the ancient methods ##

## Secret doors you must unlock ##

## Escape your

father's clutches ##

## And this oppressive

neighborhood ##

## On a journey you must go

to find the land of Hollywood ##

## In the city of fallen angels ##

## Where the ocean

meets the sand ##

## You will form

a strong alliance ##

## And the world's

most awesome band ##

## To find your

fame and fortune ##

## Through the valley

you must walk ##

## You will face your inner demons ##

## Now go, my son, and rock! ##

## So he bailed

from f***ing Kickapoo ##

## With hunger in his heart ##

## And he journeyed far and wide

to find the secrets of his art ##

## But in the end he knew that

he would find his counterpart ##

## Rock ##

## Ro-o-o-ck ##

## Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o ##

## Hey-yeah-hey-yeah-hey-yeah-

yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-hey-yeah ##

## Rock! ##

## Tenacious D, Tenacious D ##

## D, D, D, D ##

## Oh, oh, oh, oh ##

## Tenacious ##

## Tenacious D, Tenacious D ##

## Tenacious D, Tenacious D ##

## Tenacious D ##

## Tenacious D,

Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten! ##

## Ten is ten, is ten,

is ten, is... ##

This place is awesome.

Gold man. Ha ha ha!

Whoa!

Ohhh! Oh, man!

- Thank you.

- Oh, my God.

OK, that was

the best thing I have ever seen.

- Who are you?

- The name's Kyle Gass.

Kyle Gass.

Dude, will you just teach me

that one thing that you did?

Where you're like, playing...

I'm not giving

free guitar lessons today.

Why don't you stand over there?

Right here?

You're awesome.

This next piece

is by Johann Sebastian Bach...

- Watch this.

- And it's entitled...

Bourre in E Minor.

Check this out,

this guy's insane.

Man, are you guys stupid.

Don't you know genius

when you see it?

Damn!

Anyway.

My name's JB.

My name's JB.

Just rolled into town.

- Would you give me some space?

- Yeah.

You're kinda cramping my style.

Oh, dude, I'm sorry.

And you're driving

away my crowd.

If you just move back,

like I asked you earlier...

I think things

are going to be a lot better.

- OK. Fine. Sorry.

- Thanks.

## Can't you see he's the man? ##

## Let me hear you applaud ##

## He's more than a man,

he's a shining golden god! ##

## lf you think ##

## lt's time to f***ing rock ##

## And f***ing roll out of control ##

## Well, then you know

you've got to rock the block ##

## You f***ing suck my f***ing cock ##

## 'Cause when you rule,

you f***ing school ##

## All of the fools

out of their jewels ##

## 'Cause if you think it's time to,

if you think it's time to ##

## lf you think

it's time to f***ing ro-ock ##

## He is going ##

## To kick your f***ing ass ##

## And you know

his name is Kyle Gass ##

## Rocking and f***ing rolling ##

## And f***ing rocking

and f***ing rolling ##

## And f***ing

rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley ##

## Rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley

dip, dip ##

## Be-dop-bop-bop,

be-dop-bop-bop ##

## Be-dop-bop-bop,

be-dop-bop-bop-boo! ##

## Bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo,

bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo ##

## Boo, boo, boo,

boo, boo, boo! ##

## Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-baah!

Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop ##

## Bip, bip, bip, bip,

bip, bip, bip, bip ##

## Bip, bip, bip, bip-be-doo! ##

Yeah!

Dudes!

That was bad-ass.

You guys are like electric dynamite.

What's the name of your band?

We're not a band. They calls

me KG Solo Man Five Thousand...

and I aims to keep it that way.

- Aah!

- I'm outta here.

This place is tapped.

Jeez Louise, papa cheese.

I know. It's OK.

It's just part of his genius.

## Well, I can't get

to sleep tonight ##

## No matter how hard I try ##

## 'Cause it's cold

and it's dark ##

## And the moon cannot light

the way ##

## And Daddy's gone ##

## I'm just a baby ##

## Aaah-hah-hah-hah ##

Well. What do we 'ave 'ere?

My little snuggles.

- Ha ha ha!

- I spy a stinking, filthy fag!

Snivelling, boo-hoo-hoo!

Like a wee baby!

Ha ha ha!

He does look like a f***ing baby.

Oh! Ha ha. Wee baby.

Listen, fellas. I don't

wanna fight. So if you don't...

Aaaah!

Look at this. What is it?

Needs a popping, my brother.

- Ooh!

- Hey, no. Give me that back.

That's my lucky guitar pick.

That's my lucky guitar pick. Ow!

Ah! Argh! Ow!

Ha ha ha!

Hey! Okay! Let's go!

Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Ha ha ha!

Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha!

Ohh...

That's right, run.

Unless you want

some more of this! Aah!

You saved me.

Aah, that's all right.

They had it coming.

How can I repay you?

We'll work something out.

This place is futuristic.

Yeah, this is my pad, here.

Number four.

Not hard to remember.

Just think, "My door is four."

Pretty cool.

Wow. Nice pad.

You got this place all to yourself?

Yeah. I try to keep it simple.

This is where I stay when I write.

It's quite, uh, minimalist.

I don't like anything to get in

the way of my creative juices.

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