Terror Train Page #4

indeed all Americans,|when I say, "F*** 'em!"

You know, there are certain|phrases in American history...

that have caught the fancy|of the American people.

The phrase that's always caught my|fancy or aroused me as it were is...

"Let's bomb them suckers|into the Stone Age."

You know, it wouldn't be like Vietnam.

They don't have no jungle to|hide under. Just sand and rock.

To my way of thinkin', if|the United States Cavalry...

can take care of|Paiutes and Comanches...

a B-52 ought to do just fine|with those camel jockeys.

Of course, this is strictly off the|record, you understand. Yeah, sure.

Of course, you're all aware|of my campaign platform...

which is a return to the gold standard,|euthanasia for all welfare recipients...

and six NFL franchises, each with its|own stadium, for the state of Louisiana.

And our campaign slogan... Let them|eat brownies. What's that, ma'am?

I liked your show. I remember you.

Do you believe in magic?

I'll have to convince you.

Do you do this for all your fans?|This is my first time, Alana.

After the next show.

Alana?

Mo's waiting for you.

He said to tell you|he's sorry, and so am I.

You seen Mitchy? I|thought she was with you.

I must have missed her.

Anyway, go talk to the guy.

He doesn't wanna argue.

Thanks.

Mo? What?

Here, Mo.

Thank you. Do you know they|drink out of these things?

Why don't you come join|me, Mo? No, I'll stay here.

Come on. Does that mean I|have to come to you? Mm-hmm.

Hey, you wanna dance?|No, I'll just watch.

Come on. No, no, that's okay.

You wanna watch, eh?|What do you wanna see?

Oh, let's dance. No,|I don't wanna dance.

Come on. No, that's okay.

Does that mean you wanna do something|else? No, no, no! I'll dance.

Oh, you're so cute. Hey,|hey, no. Come on. Stop it.

Will you let go of my pants? Uh-oh.

You're...

What happened to that blood?

And how the hell did|he bust that mirror?

With a hammer?

Shuffled. Laid on the floor. There.

Not only will I find the card that was selected|and signed by our skeptical friend here...

but, uh, I'm gonna do it...

without looking.

That's third-grade stuff. Really?

Oh, he's getting violent.|That's pretty sharp.

What's he got?

My God.

Are you okay?

Do you know whose this is?

Yeah, it's Mitchy's. Michelle, my|girlfriend. I'll take it. Thank you.

Don't.

What's going on? Will|you go with me, please?

Where'd you find this?|Let's go, miss, please.

Come on.

I'm not letting you out.

Will you at least put your|clothes on, please? No.

But we're missing the|magic show. Boring.

No, no, not boring. Fun.|Fun, fun, fun. Boring.

Mitchy? Mo? Oh, my God. It's Alana.

I know he's in there. Doc told me so.

Doc? Mitchy?

That f***in' bastard! I have an office.

It's in the car up ahead.|Now come on. Come on. Mo?

Sit down and stay put.

Mitchy? Mitchy?

Miss, sit down. Now just wait a|minute. Has something happened to her?

She didn't fall off the|train, did she? No, ma'am.

Now listen to me, honey.

She's dead.

I don't believe you.|I don't believe you!

Hey, anyone can do that!

Well, rather than argue with you...

I'm going to prove that you're right.

Have you seen Alana? No.

Bullshit, you haven't!|I wanna talk to you.

Hey, relax. Watch the show.

I didn't get caught, okay?

You made a mistake.

It can't be Mitchy.

She's my goddamned best|friend. Please, please.

Oh, God. Mitchy!

Oh, no.

We're gonna try a|little mental telepathy.

First, you're gonna cover me|with a cloth so I can't see you.

Then hold up as many fingers|as you want behind my head.

Then hold up as many fingers|as you want behind my head.

Hey, you seen Mitchy? On my|command, pull away the cloth...

and I'll be holding up the exact same|number of fingers. She's around somewhere.

Okay, cover me up.

Hey, why don't you stay under there.!

Can anybody make him disappear?

Shall we begin?

Good. Now hold your fingers up.

Are you sure that's the number you want?

Then take hold of the cloth. Ready?

Wake me when it's|over.! One, two, three.

Go.

Seven.

Who did that to her?

Probably some kid messed up on dope.

Alcohol.

I know these people.|They wouldn't do that.

No, of course not.

Probably some nut just|climbed on the train.

I saw her half an hour|ago with a fella...

fallin' down...

drunk.

SweetJesus.

At the end of my last show, I, uh...

dematerialized my assistant.

Well, for my next show, I'm|gonna need to have her back.

So, watch.

Wake up, buddy. It's over. Thank you.

Hey. Thank you.

Oh, that's a good|one. That's a good one.

You're great. Thank you.

Get up. Come on, Mo. Come on.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

Mo?

Mo?

Mo?

Mo, get up. Mo, wake up. Help!

Wake up. Help!

Help me, please!

Get up!

Help! Please! Nice gag, Doc.

Help me.

Please!

Somebody, help me! He's|bleeding, you bastards!

Help.!

Doc? Help him.

Put him down. Put him down.|Mo? Mo? What's wrong with him?

Get back. Mo?

Come on. I need this|from you now. Come on, Mo.

Alana, come look at his chest.

He's bleeding. Could be his heart.

It's not his f***ing heart! Come on!

Come on, Mo. Come on. Get back.

Give him some air. I'm|a doctor, goddamn it.

Mo. Oh, no! No!

Oh, come on, Mo.

Come on, buddy.

Come on. Come on. What is going on?

Get 'em out of here! Mo.

Move it!

Get 'em all down there|together and close that bar.

Where's Mitchy? Where is she?

She's dead.

Mitchy's dead.

What are you talking about?

She's dead. Mitchy!

Mitchy! Mitchy!

I'm getting out of here.

Brace yourself. We're gonna lock up.

Walter.

My God, what's the matter with|Walter? He should have hit the brakes.

Emergency!

We're gonna derail!|Ease off on the brakes!

Brakes, now.

Stop, damn you. Stop.

What the hell happened here?

I don't know.

He must have got 'em both.

Don't go back through|that train without this.

Watch your step there. Stay|together. Don't go too far.

Come on. Keep on moving,|everybody. Come on.

Get yourselves a couple of fire axes|and search every damn inch of these cars.

He could be anywhere. And|he's lethal, so stick together.

And don't try to be heroes.

If you just think you hear somethin',|you come hollerin' for help.

Okay, chief.

Keep moving. Watch your step, please.

Hey, careful there. Stay together.

Christ, the lights are gone.

Everybody, take off your masks.

I wanna know who's who.|Tell us what's going on.

I will. Right now, I'm telling you...

to stay with your dates,|stick by your friends.

Elaine? Dominic?

Look out!

It's one of them little mothers.

Hey, a**hole. Jackson?

Jackson? If this turns out to|be another one of your stunts...

Hey, you there, let go ofhim.

Herbie Green? Okay?

Dan Irwin?

I want the rest of those masks|off now. Hurry along there.

How come it's just all my best friends in the|f***ing world? What do we all have in common?

Jackson. You and me|and Mitchy and the guys?

Doc, we hurt him.

What are you talking about? Kenny|Hampson. Your stunt with the corpse.

Nobody'd do that for a goddamn prank.

It wasn't just a|prank. Doc, he was sick.

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