Terror Train Page #3

Very funny. Did you think|of that one all by yourself?

Excuse me.

You pulled what?

I didn't know there was a muscle there.

Oh, excuse me, sir. Okay.

Uh, just a minute there. Yeah?

Got a little trick I'd|like to show you. Oh, great.

Okay. Now, think on a card.

Oh, now, don't tell me. You got it?

You got to concentrate on the deck...

because it's the power of the|thought that makes it rise to the top.

Let me show you how to do that.

Five.

Four.

Three. There it is.

Now, what... what was your card?

Jack of hearts. Not only has it|risen to the top of the deck...

but now, it has become|the jack of spades.

Nice one, sir.

Just a gag. Kind of clever, wasn't it?

I'm gonna wet my pants|if I don't stop laughing.

Emergency! Emergency room, right here.

Locked. Oh!

There's another one down at|the end of the car here. Thanks.

We'll just, uh, sit this|one out. I can't wait.

Now, you tell the good doctor|just what's troubling you.

Come here.

My, that was pretty.

Very well done. You know how he does it?

Yeah. How?

We're sworn to secrecy.

Hey.!

Where is everybody?|Watching the magician.

Where the hell areJackson|and Ed? I don't know.

Hey, wait a minute. We|didn't hire a magician.

Well, maybe somebody else had|a good idea for a change, hmm?

I wanna see what he does.

Isn't she adorable?

She still mad?

Yeah, she's still mad.

She'll get over it.

You know, Doc...

I'm not so sure this time.

Well, if she dumps you,|you've always got me, you know.

I mean it.

Whoo!

Let's get out of here.

Excuse me.

Watch your toes, Mitchy.

Uh, what's with the snit sisters?

Wait a minute. Excuse me.

One of my girlfriends thinks her|boyfriend was left back at the platform...

before we left. Oh, I don't think|so, not if he came with you all.

The platform was clear.

You know...

they might've... they|might've switched disguises.

You know, it'd be hard to|tell. You talking about Ed?

Yeah. He's here. I saw him.

He's in the Groucho costume. He's here?

Yeah.

I'm sorry. False alarm. It's all right.

Hey, guys.

You should've seen that|magician. He was fantastic.

Poof! Just like that,|the woman was gone.

Think he knows how to make one come?

I hate magic. It's just tricks.|Come on. You love tricks.

I love jokes. You're just pissed|off'cause you can't figure it out.

These girls look faint.

Can we do anything to revive them?

I don't know. Maybe|some kind of injection?

You girls better come back to|the consulting room with us.

We may have to do an exploratory.

Yeah, you sure you guys have had|any experience? Experience? Us?

Oh, come on. Tell 'em,|Doc. We got experience.

Mo and I worked in an emergency|gynecological ward last summer.

Really? Yeah, that's|right. Doc won an award.

Best Pap smear in a|supporting role. Come on.

Let's go get some champagne.

Uh, I wanna stay here, okay?

Enjoy yourselves. Thank you.

Let's dance. What about the men?

The men can obviously|take care of themselves.

I feel sick. This little|lady cannot hold her liquor.

But there's something else I can hold.

Anyway, when in doubt,|cut it out, right?

Or cut it off. Hey, hey, come on.

Not in there. Not again!

Anyway, we look in the jar, and|there's the tattoo around the nipple.

Oh, stop! Uh-oh. This|one looks serious, Doc.

I agree. Get her in here.|Aw, sh*t, it's still locked.

Uh-oh. Look who's here. Oh, hi. Hi.

Medical problem. You think it's serious?

Smells like an alcohol problem to me.

We know you can handle it, Captain.

Come on. Get out of here.

Anybody in there?

Speak up if you're in there.|Otherwise, I'm gonna use the passkey.

All right, I'm coming in.

My God.

If you wanna talk, we can|go back to my compartment.

It's quiet there. Probably|very private too...

with red lights and satin sheets.

Mood music. Yeah, I had the|pledges install a hot tub.

It's very nice. Mmm!

Seriously. If you wanna|talk, I'm around, okay?

You really have a hot tub? Oh, geez.

You all right?

You got somethin' to put in this?

Are you sick?

There's a boy dead back there.|He's in the sleeper toilet.

He must have... I don't|know what happened.

L-I just don't know.

No doubt in your mind?

Oh, he's dead, all right.

I never saw anybody so dead as that.

I gotta sit down, Charlie, for a minute.

Will you watch that|car while I call Walter?

Of course.

Uh, nobody knows, so...

don't say nothin'. Sure.

Hi, guys.

Oh, where have you been all my life?

Just this once.

Well, I can say we crossed the line.

Oh, we can back into town, sure we can.

But that'll green that|switch and that freight...

and we'll be backing up a hell of a lot|slower than he'll be coming towards us.

I guess the closest way|out is straight ahead.

Is all hell breaking|loose back there or what?

Just an accident.

Let's put on a little speed.

Can you believe that guy?

Yeah, but do you know what|he asked me to do? Oh, hi.

Could I get in there? I'm|sorry. It's out of order.

Would you try the other side,|please? Thank you very much. Okay.

Did you look? No, sir.

Sorry to put this on you, Charlie.

What?

What the hell? There|was blood there before.

I could've sworn it.

Something's happened.

Some kind of practical joke.

Dead drunk. That's what he is.

|Whoops-a-daisy.!

Damn kids.

All right, up. Come on. Up we go.

Whoops! Bad choo-choo.

Oh, wow. D-Jack!

Do you know how gross that|looks when you're stoned?

Were you in here all this time?

Were you sick? He gets, you know, sick.

I guess so.

Well, look, folks, he's|a-walkin' and a-talkin'.

Weighs a ton. At least that's|what his girlfriend says.

I mean, you know what I mean.

Oh, he'll be all right.|I'll take care of him.

Easy does it, right, Jack?

That's a boy.

Damn medical students.

Oh, no. No, no. So, are|you breaking up with Alana?

Only for the weekend. But I thought|you two were getting married.

We are. Hey. Whoa.

Hey, guys, a little booze.|A little booze. Thank you.

A toast to us.

Hey, there's Jackson. The old yearbook.

Let me see. Hey, look at Mo.

I look like an idiot.|Well, you still do.

Thanks a lot, old|buddy. That's the Prez.

Who's that?

That's just Kenny Hampson.

He couldn't handle it.

Say, sweetheart, let's take a walk.

Hey, Doc, where are you goin'?|Doc, don't leave me alone...

Hi. Hey, Ed, is that you down there?

Boo!

D-Jack, you can make it.

Up! I mean, if you've never|tried an upper berth before...

Scoot!

You old faker.

Jackson's with another girl. I know it.

You and Mitchy, you know,|you have an understanding.

But this is a first for us.

Could be a first for us too.

Right?

Like, uh...

you and I have never really|gotten to know each other...

and, uh, could be our last chance.

Right, D-Jack?

Think, uh, you could|manage without the flipper?

Ooh.

Well, uh, you know what they say:

Cold hands, warm heart.

I don't wanna get involved|in any controversy...

on the situation in the Middle East...

but as senior senator from my state, I|think I can speak for my constituents...

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