Thank Your Lucky Stars Page #2

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Are you kidding?

Listen, we've been here for two hours.

When are you going to...?

I hope you'll be listening again

next Wednesday.

Until then, ladies and gentlemen...

...this is Eddie Cantor

saying good night, everybody.

Come on, Dinah, John.

John.

I can think only of that Dinah Shore.

We must get her for the benefit.

When I am conducting her

with my orchestra...

...oh, boy, oh, boy,

what effects I will get.

Orchestra and pia... No, no, no.

- We will talk to her.

- Here.

- To Dinah Shore?

- Yes.

- Are you crazy?

- Why?

That's not the way to get Dinah.

If you wanna get Dinah...

...you don't talk to Dinah Shore.

If I want Dinah Shore,

I don't talk to Dinah?

No, no, no.

You talk to Eddie Cantor.

He's got her under exclusive contract.

That is we should talk to Eddie Cantor,

but we won't.

- Break it. You're double-park...

- Leave.

We should talk to Cantor

but we won't?

No, because if we talk to Cantor now,

he'll want to be in the benefit.

- Oh, that's bad?

- We don't want him in the benefit.

We do want Dinah Shore.

However, if we talk to Cantor

at the right time...

...we may be able to get

Dinah without Cantor.

- Do you understand?

- No.

- Pardon me.

- A fresh guy.

What's the matter with these?

There you are.

Let's have a little system here.

I know you want everybody's autograph,

so go from one star to another.

This way, please.

Oh, come on.

- Here you are, young man.

- Can we go home now, Uncle Eddie?

Yeah. Shh. Quiet.

Mr. Cantor, I feel you're one of the

greatest artists in the world today.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

- I'd feel complimented...

...if you'd honor me with your autograph.

- Yeah. Have you got a pen?

I'll be very happy indeed.

- It's for a little boy.

- That's all right.

Anything else I can do for you?

No, thanks. You've done enough already.

It's a pleasure, sir. Come in again.

Don't waste it, Tommy.

That all belongs to Eddie Cantor now.

- You got it.

- Got it?

Listen, when Barney Jackson tells you

he'll get you a contract, you get a contract.

Yippee! Oh-ho!

Careful. Careful. Careful.

That ink's still wet.

Barney, you're a great agent.

How much do I get?

- A hundred bucks a week.

- Hundred bucks?

Thanks, anyway, pal.

I guess that's all right for a start.

And my commission?

Sixty bucks in advance.

Oh, sure. Just wait till he hears me sing.

He'll tear up that contract,

give me twice the salary.

- He doesn't know what you're giving him.

- But he'll find out.

There's 60 bucks, right?

And there's your contract

and good luck, kid.

Thanks. When does he wanna see me?

Oh. You're supposed to report

to Cantor's house tomorrow.

- He's expecting you at 11:00.

- Okay.

No matter how big a star I get to be,

I'll never forget you for this.

- I know you won't.

- So long, Barney.

So long, kid.

Mr. Jackson. Mr. Jackson.

Oh, wait a minute.

Mr. Jackson.

Mr. Jackson.

- Well, hello there, Pat.

- Hello.

I was upstairs in your office

and the furniture's gone, even the chairs.

What's going on around here?

I'm moving into a new suite of offices.

A gorgeous place, carpets,

the chairs that thick.

- I see. Well, what about "Moondust"?

- "Moondust"? "Moondust. "

Yes, that's my song, remember?

You guaranteed to get it published

in two weeks a month ago.

I bet you thought I forgot all about it.

Look, those things take a little time,

arrangements, copyrights.

I think I do.

- Give me back my $50, Mr. Jackson.

- Leave everything to me.

- Barney never let a client down.

- Listen here.

I might be from a small town, but I was

not the village idiot. I want my $50.

I'll give you a tip.

Show biz is all new to you.

- You're still green, a novice.

- Maybe.

You've got a lot to learn,

gotta have grace, poise, self-assurance.

- What's that to do with it?

- When you sell a song...

...don't let them know

you're an amateur.

You gotta be professional, aggressive.

Be egotistical, understand?

- Well, sure but...

- There's $50 worth of advice.

And now we're even. So long, kid.

So long, Mr. Jackson.

Even?

Union Depot, buddy.

Wait, you big...

Hey, stop that man.

Follow that cab.

Yes, ma'am.

Hurry up, please.

Wait a minute. What am I doing?

This isn't a taxi.

Oh, heck.

Oh, I'm sorry, miss.

If there's anything I can do to help...

- Come on. Let's get going.

- We want our money back.

What are you doing?

You've been stalling for over two hours.

Come on. Get going, will you?

We're passing the homes

of some of our greatest stars.

On the left, you'll see the residence

of Walter Houston.

What kind of a song

was that you said you wrote?

- It was a beautiful, sentimental ballad.

- That'll be refreshing.

All you hear is

"Scrub Me, Mama, With a Salad Fork. "

Or "Beat Me, Baby,

With a Boiled Potato. "

Song or no song,

what you ought to do is go home.

Oh, I couldn't go back to Elk Falls

even if I wanted to.

- I haven't got the money.

- Oh, don't worry. I'll help you.

I have plenty of friends.

We all live together.

Hedy Lamarr, Lana Turner, Betty Grable,

all have homes over there on the left.

- Most of my friends live in Gower Gulch.

- Gower Gulch?

Yeah, all picture people.

Nothing very fancy

but they're a great bunch.

I can't understand it.

Nobody even wants to hear my song.

Oh, this is a tough town.

Look at me, driving a bus so I can eat.

Me, a fine dramatic actor.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, on your right

the home of Stewart T. Hollingshead.

- Who?

- Stewart T. Hollingshead.

The great Vitagraph tragedian. You must

remember him in Death Before Dishonor?

Never heard of him.

Never heard of him? His greatest role:

The famous deathbed scene.

His family clustered around his bed.

Oh, I can see him now.

There he lies, droning with pain.

He raises himself up on one elbow

and says:

"I want you to promise me one thing

and one thing alone.

My son, before I die...

Before I die... "

Hey, Mama, ain't he funny?

He looks just like Eddie Cantor.

Oh, Mama, he pushed me, Mama.

That's great, Spike.

Now give us "Otchi Chornia. "

Uh!

Uh!

Phew.

Uh! Uh!

Hey.

Hey.

Baa, baa.

Spike, you're a cinch.

I'm gonna see to it personally

you boys get a radio spot.

Here comes Whirlaway on the outside.

Come on over, Joe.

- Are you sure they won't mind?

- I'm positive.

This is one place you can stay

as long as you like.

- Oh, swell.

- Come on, now.

Joe, Joe, great news. I got it.

I finally got it.

You got it. He got it. You got what?

My radio deal. A hundred a week,

option's for five years. I'm set.

- Are you kidding? On the level?

- Yeah.

- He got it.

- He got it.

- I got...

- Yeah.

- Well, hello.

- Hello.

I beg your pardon.

This is Pat. She's a songwriter.

This is my friend Tommy.

- Howdy, Pat. A great night.

- How do you do?

They're throwing a party. Meet the gang.

Gosh, what news. What a break.

Who did you sign with?

- Eddie Cantor.

- Eddie Cantor. That's fi...

Only four minutes from Vine Street,

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