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And you know what they say,

"This is a program for people that

want it, not for people who need it."

Hi. Dede. New to the program.

Hi, Dede.

Hi, Dede.

Um...

There's a lot of dudes in here.

Sorry, my other program

isn't such a sausage fest.

(LAUGHTER)

Um...

My Na sponsor said I needed

to come here because...

(SIGHS) "Tell the truth

and tell it fast."

The only way

I know how to relate to men is sex.

It's been that way forever.

I can remember my mom screaming at me

for grinding on my cousin

when I was, like, four years old.

I took my neighbor's virginity

by force when I was 12,

seduced my high school English teacher, got

him fired when he tried to break it off.

My 20s,

two abortions,

one long game of musical f*** chairs.

So now I'm 30, single,

no dude, no kids.

And I just lost my best friend in the

whole world because I f***ed her old man.

I didn't even like the douchebag.

But that's What I do.

There's gotta be another way.

There has to be,

or I'm gonna f***ing kill myself.

So that's what I got.

Thanks.

Keep coming back.

MEN:
Keep coming back.

At this meeting, we give out chips

to recognize and celebrate sexual

sobriety and to help us in our recovery.

We have found through

our experience that sobriety

includes freedom from masturbation and

sex outside of a committed relationship.

Is anybody celebrating 30 days?

Good for you. Good going.

Anybody else, 30 days?

All right, all right!

Anybody else? Anybody else?

Thirty days?

Hey, Friar Tuck. What's going on?

Friar Tuck is going on a date.

Whoa!

Yeah.

Way to go!

Well, so what are we talking?

Male, female or shemale?

Hey, babe, you told me to get out there.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, I'm proud of you.

That's good news. That's good news.

You going to fellowship?

Uh, no, I can't.

I'm meeting up with my sponsee

to go over his first step.

Who, Shecky Greene?

So let's get started. Got your book?

Yeah, my book. Um, so here's the deal.

I didn't really get to...

It's okay. Just let me see it.

I'm operating on, like,

four hours of sleep.

It's fine. We'll just... We'll get it.

We'll get started.

I just... I would have liked

a little bit more time.

Is this it?

Um...

I didn't get a chance

to do what I wanted to do.

ADAM:
So, no.

I'm gonna have a lot more time

this week to work on it.

No, man. This isn't

gonna work for me.

What do you want?

Mmm-mmm. No.

Look, you're wasting my time.

This is a complete waste of my time.

I'm sorry, I can't do this.

I can't work with you.

Take it. Take the book.

You can't...

What, are you dropping me?

I am sorry. What else...

What other choice do I have, really?

I just got a 30-day chip in there,

and you're firing me?

Neil...

No, that is all sorts of f***ed up, man.

Neil, I told you from the beginning

that you had to do the work.

You haven't done

a single thing in this book.

Try doing my job.

What are you talking about?

This is bullshit.

Are you out of your mind?

I need this, okay?

I need you to sign

my court card.

Ah, there it is. That's what this is about?

That's not what this is about.

Don't worry, Neil.

The chairperson can sign your card.

You don't need me and

I don't need this.

MAN:
The pages are

all stuck f***ing together.

If it wasn't you, then who?

Who the f*** brought my book outside?

Who the f*** left my book outside?

Who?

Who?

Just tell me who.

If it wasn't you, then who?

Who?

Who? You know what...

Shut the f*** up!

A**hole.

What's all this?

Danny's making us breakfast.

Oh. This will be interesting.

(SOFTLY) I have not seen my son in years.

Can you try not chasing him away?

DANNY:
Here we go.

Ooh!

Breakfast la Danny.

Look at this.

It's so fancy.

What's this gonna cost us?

Nothing.

KATIE:
Okay.

There's some butter there

if you want it, Ma.

Oh, thank you.

Mmm.

This is really good.

I tried to get yours back,

but, uh...

Oh, honey.

It's the best I could do.

(SIGHS)

Will you put it on me?

DANNY:
Yeah, of course.

So, yeah, I mean, after my

stretch, I bounced around a lot.

I worked an oil rig off

the Gulf of Mexico,

picked spinach in Central

Valley, California.

(LAUGHS) Really?

Yeah. Just basically saw the country.

And you've been sober the whole time?

Yeah.

Just white-knuckling it?

Yeah, you know,

not everybody needs to go with AA, Dad.

Oh, is that right?

Yeah, some people

don't need a group to Lean on.

Some people can do it on their own.

Hmm.

Hasn't been my experience.

You want more coffee?

Yes, please.

What?

Hey.

Hello.

Hello.

If I knew we were gonna be racing, I

would have worn my Livestrong bracelet.

You know,

this actually might be a good time

to tell you that

I had breast cancer five years ago.

Oh, God, really?

Yeah.

Uh...

(CHUCKLES)

That's a tough break. I'm sorry.

Yeah, it was.

But it's fine. I'm fine now, so...

I'm glad to hear that.

So I see you're perspiring a Tad.

I just ran a 10K.

Okay, my initial reaction is to say,

"Well, I just ran a marathon."

But I can't tell

if you're joking or if you're serious.

I'm as serious as cancer.

Wait, you just ran a 10K?

Mmm-hmm. I'm training for

the New York Triathlon.

Okay, we need a system here,

(LAUGHS)

some signs to signify.

So when we're serious,

we have to do this.

Oh, I love that. Okay. Yes, Adam, I'm

serious. I'm training for a triathlon.

Okay. Okay, you seriously

scare/impress me.

(LAUGHS) Thank you.

Oh, and when we're

joking, we can do that.

Did you just pay homage to The Sting?

My God, you're hot.

No, you're hot.

Oh.

What? No, you are.

You're actually very hot.

Thanks.

You're extremely hot.

(LAUGHTER)

Let's do this.

Okay.

I'm just getting warmed up here.

I'm ready to go now.

(ADAM PANTING)

How you doing back there?

I'm fine. I'm just drafting.

Okay.

Doctor.

Um, can I talk to you for a second?

Um, sure.

Yeah, you know, I just...

(CLEARS THROAT)

I really wanted to

apologize for all the

joking around and stuff

that I do around here.

You know, I think it's really,

to be honest, like, a defense mechanism.

You know, for all the pressures

we have here as doctors.

Thank you.

Thank you, that's good to hear.

I think it's also a... (CLEARS THROAT)

I think it's also

kind of a product of my childhood.

My mom, God bless her,

she's still alive, but, you know, she was

really sick a lot when I was growing up.

She had IBS, bad,

and the only thing that

really made her feel

better was when I

would make her laugh.

Apology accepted, okay?

Now if you'll excuse me...

Oh!

(TEARING)

Uh, wait...

Uh, so I think we can go ahead

and untuck that now.

But that's part of my

intended ensemble.

Okay. And then I'll tuck it back in.

Nice re-tucking. (LAUGHS)

Would you care

for a little GU?

Goo?

Mmm-hmm.

I'm new to goo. I...

(LAUGHS) Oh, dear.

Hmm.

You kind of got some

on your face there.

Oh, did I get it?

Lower. Lower.

It's still there?

Nope. It's on your Chin.

My Shin?

It's on your Chin.

My Chin. Which one?

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