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with claw-like, arthritic claw hands?

Will you love me then?

(LAUGHS)

BECKY:
Adam.

You're killing me.

Hey.

Becky.

Yeah, I know.

I remember.

Oh, my God.

It's been years.

How are you?

Do you still have

that great apartment downtown?

Yep. Still in the same place.

This is Phoebe.

Hello.

Have you seen his place?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Yes, I have, and it is great.

Great. Good.

Good seeing you, Becky.

"Hint, hint, Becky, leave now."

(GIGGLES)

It's nice to see you,

too, Adam.

Here we are.

Make yourself at home.

I'm gonna go change.

(SENSUAL MUSIC)

Hey, baby.

You want a dance?

Yeah.

Hey, let's ease...

Just kiss me, okay?

Ah, you know the rules.

No touching.

(EXHALES)

Hey. (INHALES DEEPLY)

What's wrong?

(EXHALES)

Uh, listen, I, uh...

(EXHALES)

This is taking me to places

where I've been in the past,

where I just don't

wanna go right now.

I'm sorry.

It's all right. I know you...

I mean, you gotta be careful, I get that.

But, I mean, aren't we allowed

to be a little playful?

Absolutely.

Adam, I am a very

sexual person,

and I'm gonna need to be able to

express that side of myself with you.

Oh, and I want you to, believe me.

I just would like to take it

a little bit more slowly.

Did Becky go slow?

(CLASSICAL MUSIC)

Italia!

Oh, sh*t!

Yeah, it's looking good.

Yeah.

Yeah, there it goes.

Finish it up.

Hey, so you really want me there?

I mean, I can find somewhere else...

No, I want you to meet Adam.

He's a good guy.

He's got a good head. He's smart.

Smart? Like, I'm gonna

need a thesaurus to...

No, I'm just saying that

he's been through some hard times,

and now he's doing great.

Hard times.

And he's bringing his new lady

friend over. You'll like him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I get it. Positive role model.

Jesus, Danny, it's just dinner.

Just show up and eat the food.

God, this house is amazing.

I love all the woodwork and stuff.

It's so beautiful.

When was the house built?

Um... Uh, 1898.

Oh.

I've been renovating it since then.

(LAUGHS)

You've done a really great job.

It's very homey. It's nice.

KATIE:
We like it.

MIKE:
Thank you.

You know, let's start. It's, you

know, family style. Here we go.

Um... Oh, wow. That's... No, that's way

too much for me. Here, babe, let's...

Oh, how much do you want?

I'll just serve myself, it's fine.

I just, uh...

What are you, a smurf?

(LAUGHS)

ADAM:
Here we go.

First off, you could not

pay me enough to do a triathlon.

Secondly, and furthermore,

I cannot believe you are voluntarily going

to swim in the Hudson f***in' River.

(LAUGHS) Mike.

What? Honey, she's a big girl.

Sorry about the language.

That's okay. I accept your f***ing apology.

Ooh.

(LAUGHTER)

MIKE:
Oh, now

you owe me an apology.

Sorry I'm late.

There was an accident on the BQE.

The food was getting cold, so we started.

KATIE:
I'll make you a plate.

That's all right.

Don't worry about it.

I'm not hungry anyway.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

So Adam told me that you guys

were high school sweethearts.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

God, we were stupid.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

What?

I was just thinking about

what my life would've been like

if I had married my high

school sweetheart.

(LAUGHS) Scary, huh?

Horror movie scary.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, Mike and I,

we just got lucky.

Lucky's good.

Well, you may be

getting lucky.

Adam is a good guy.

Yeah, he is.

Hey.

(SNIFFLES)

What's wrong?

I just think I'm worried about

this whole addict thing, you know?

Mmm-hmm.

I mean, I just...

Do you ever worry

that you'll be just humming along,

and then he's just gonna

veer off back into the darkness?

In my experience,

the only way that I can do this

is just to keep the focus on myself.

Meaning?

Meaning, um...

What about my side

of the street?

What are my issues that I

have to deal with?

After all, I picked an addict,

that says something.

Yeah, so, I mean, it's pretty

much self-sustaining, you know?

The fish, they do their thing

in the water, and that...

Yeah, and then the phytoplankton

eat the fish's waste,

and then they create oxygen,

which the fish use,

so it's, like, a closed loop, right?

Yeah. Exactly.

Adam's an environmental wizard.

Is that right?

You know, I had a cell mate once

who thought he was a warlock.

(CHUCKLES)

So...

So nice job on the girl.

I like her a lot.

Oh, yeah.

I really like her. I think

this might have legs.

Hey, listen, if it works out,

no one will be happier than me.

And if you don't make me the best man,

I will f*** up your wedding.

Mike, you're the best, man.

What are you saying?

I'm the best man, or I'm, like...

You're the best...

Man.

(BOTH LAUGH)

That's not a committal.

You're not committing.

I will f*** up your wedding.

You're the best man.

I will fall into the wedding cake.

You are the best, man.

I will be the one

that will not forever hold his peace.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Hey.

You think I could be your best man

when you two get married?

Nothing? All right.

(TRIPPY MUSIC)

Wow.

A lot of smells going on in here.

You getting that?

It's like patchouli

mixed with Bo and hugs.

Hey, Judgie Judgerstein,

I'm glad you could make it.

You know, I'm not really a

dancer so much as a Walker.

You gotta let your spontanuity go.

I don't think that's actually a word.

(SHUSHES) Relax.

Ecstatic dancing is not

about looking good.

It's about getting in touch

with your higher power.

You're gonna make me find this higher

power even if it kills ya, huh?

Relax, babe. Let your

inhibitions run wild.

I don't think inhibitions can...

I like that Phoebe, babe.

And I like her for him.

I think they could make it.

What do you think?

I'm not so sure.

What are you talking about?

I don't know. I'm just not so sure.

Are you kidding me?

You didn't see

how they were looking at each other?

That's the same kind of look we used to

give each other, like, 30 years ago.

Have you seen my pain pills?

They're not in the cabinet?

No. Weird.

I don't f***in' believe it.

Mike, you don't know that.

Gotta tell you, Mike

really liked you.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Believe me, he's a hard sell.

I'm glad I passed the test.

Oh, come on,

I didn't mean it like that.

What's the matter?

(SIGHS) Nothing.

I'm just cranky. I missed my run.

Oh, I know that's your drug.

Huh?

What? Nothing.

I know another way

to get endorphins going.

Oh, God,

I'm about to crash.

I have a 7:
30 breakfast.

I'll make it up to you, I promise.

(SCOFFS)

You don't have to promise me sex.

(TRIPPY MUSIC)

(ADAM CHUCKLES)

Sounds like you had

a really good time.

You know, I don't know

if I could approve

of you grinding up against

a bunch of sweaty undulating bodies.

No, no, no,

I'm in for the night.

Uh, maybe I could get away

for a few minutes tomorrow at lunch.

Sounds like fun.

Okay, good.

Good night.

Hey. Did I wake you up?

Who was that?

Who are you talking to?

What?

Who are you on the phone with?

My sponsee.

Really?

At 2:
00 in the morning?

Yeah, he was calling to check in.

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