ThanksKilling
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2009
- 70 min
- 899 Views
1
Nice tits, b*tch.
Come run with me
to the end of the world
come run with me
I know you're gonna save me
she has a...
Yah!
Thanksgiving break!
Yes! Yes!
Damn, Billy, cover
those puppies up.
Nobody wants to see your nasty
titties.
Shh, I'm trying to get
Ali to show her big ol' tiggos.
Oh, all right.
Yeah! Spring break,
guys!
Let's get wasted.
Pull your shirt
down, honey.
It's Thanksgiving, not
tits-giving.
What?
thankful for my glorious
boobies.
I know I am.
You know you like them.
To the end of the world
come run with me
Billy! Hey, guys!
Hey!
Yo, what's the deal
with him, anyway?
Oh, it's cool, man.
He's with me.
A little weird, but you get used
to it.
Cool.
Hey, Johnny, we're gonna
wait for you in the car, okay?
All right, sweetie,
we'll see you in a bit.
Yeah, guys, we'll see
you there.
What's up, Darren?
How's it going,
Billy?
Yo, what's up, man?
My name is Johnny.
Hey, Johnny.
Yeah, I know you.
You're the backup quarterback
for the Tritons, aren't you?
That's just because I
broke my leg last season.
You know Trent?
The first-string quarterback?
Oh, oh, yeah, no,
you're better than him.
He's got nothing on you, man.
He's got nothing.
No! Nothing.
Something different in
these blue eyes
Like they were made for me
Trent is Trent.
But Johnny, he's Johnny.
Yo, Billy.
Whoa.
Here, check this out.
Weapon of mass destruction.
Go ahead, touch it.
Nice, right?
Yeah, wow, that's
huge.
Hey, Darren.
I got a muscle you can touch.
Come run with me
I know you're gonna save me
I know you're gonna save me
I know you're gonna save me
I know you're gonna save me
I know you're gonna save me
Yeah!
Thanksgiving break! Whoo-hoo!
Don't go running too
far off, flashy.
Dinner will be done soon.
He's just a dog, Oscar.
And I'm just a lonely old hag.
Jesus, man, you
reek.
God.
So, guys, I was
thinking, you know, since it's
Thanksgiving and all, that we
should go around and say what
we're thankful for.
I'm thankful that your
mom has the juiciest poon in
town.
Oh, nice!
Burn, baby, good one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's poon?
You guys are so
rude.
Darren, I'm thankful to be
spending time with all of you
guys.
And I'm glad we're all in good
health.
Gay.
No.
Not gay at all, Billy.
Actually, I think spending time
with your family is one of the
most important things in life.
Right, Kristen?
I just wish me and my old man
had a little more time to bond.
He was the one who taught me how
to throw the pigskin around all
those years ago.
Unfortunately, we haven't been
getting along lately.
Billy, what are you
thankful for?
papa died last year, I guess I'm
just grateful that I still got
my little mama.
I'm going to show her a good
time this Thanksgiving.
Aw, Billy, that is
so sweet.
Hey. Hey.
I'm gonna go wild...
I'm gonna go buck wild on this
trip.
without any clothes on.
I'm gonna ghost ride the whip,
man.
Whoo!
I'm going to have sex with
someone in this car.
Yeah, and for once, you know,
it's not gonna be just me by
myself.
I'm gonna be the one doing the
sexing.
Yeah, to one of you.
Well, it isn't gonna be
me.
I'm a prude.
What?
Nothing.
Yeah, nothing.
Nothing at all, Ali.
Ali...
You're kind of a ho.
I'm not gonna lie... you're
pretty skanky.
I am not a ho.
There is only one man in my
life.
Right, Johnny?
Oh, please, Ali,
your legs are harder to shut
than the Jonbenet Ramsey case.
Oh, snap! Burn.
That's good.
Flashy!
Dinner's done, boy.
Flashy, where are you?
Flashy?
Where are you, boy?
Oh, f***, I'm pissed.
Thank you, baby.
God damn, Sheryl, that coffee
tastes like sh*t.
What did you do?
Take a dump in it?
Ha.
As a matter of fact, I sure did.
I want a f***ing divorce.
All right, then.
Sheriff Roud here.
Hey, daddy, how are
you?
Hi, baby.
Are you on your way yet?
Yep, we've been on
the road for about...
Kristen, toss me a
beer.
Hey, what did he say?
Did he just say toss?
Uh, no, dad...
Tossing is illegal.
You can't do no tossing in a
car, girl, do you understand
that?
I know, daddy.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you
know I'll be home in a couple of
hours.
All right, sweetheart.
Hey, by the way, are you going
to be able to go with me to the
annual policeman's Thanksgiving
ball tonight?
Uh, sure, yeah.
Great.
Oh, by the way, your stepmama
left me.
Love you, bye.
What the hell?
Aw, damn it.
I'm gonna have to pull over,
guys.
Whoa, Billy.
Argh!
Billy!
God, dude. Damn it.
God damn!
How bad is it?
I don't know.
Looks like we definitely
overheated.
Oh, I know!
Maybe it's a flat tire, Johnny.
Yeah, maybe, Ali.
Hey, we got tents and
beer.
Let's party here tonight.
Yeah, that sounds
awesome!
Yeah, maybe if you get
drunk enough, Johnny, you can
look under my hood.
Well, the car does
need to cool off.
Let's do it.
Yeah!
Right here!
Camping.
Let's go get drunk.
Yeah! Drunk!
Who wants to get laid?
Where's my...
This is mine.
Party, we're going to party all
night.
wasted.
I'm so excited! I'm so excited!
F***ing f*ggot.
Ouch!
Crawberg.
Where have I heard that name
before?
Guys, guys!
Guys, guys, wait up.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
Whoa there, junior.
There's a sign back
there that said Crawberg on it.
So what, Darren?
Like, what's your point?
You, you're trying to
tell me that you don't know what
Crawberg is?
Okay, guys, it's time for me to
fill you in on one of the most
notorious moments in pilgrim
history.
Back in the 1500s, in the
settlement of Crawberg, an old
Indian by the name of
feather cloud, who some people
thought had black magic powers,
was dishonored by a pilgrim.
Oh, my ex-boyfriend was
a pilgrim.
The pilgrim's name
was Chuck Langston.
Well, that's my last
name.
I know, Billy.
before, but he's probably one of
your ancestors.
Well, anyways.
The old Indian was so outraged,
white men.
This was no ordinary curse,
however.
Feather cloud necromanced a...
Turkey that would roam the earth
every 505 years, killing the
first humans he made contact
with.
He was more evil than anything
you've ever seen before... a
Turkey that would stop at
nothing to get what he wanted...
To kill.
Are you shitting me?
A killer Turkey?
Bullshit, Darren.
You're starting to scare Kristen
now.
I'm not scared.
I'm scared.
Well, it's kind of a
legend, guys.
There are tons of books written
about it.
Turkeyologists all over the
world...
Oh, brother.
Know it as
thankskilling.
Let me guess, it's
been 505 years later, right?
No.
It will be in 45 minutes.
Come on, I mean, it's
totally impossible for a Turkey
to kill a human...
Right?
Yeah, yeah it is.
Oh, there are ways.
I guess we'll just have to wait
and find out.
Damn it, you little
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"ThanksKilling" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/thankskilling_19588>.
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