That Darn Cat! Page #2

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Ha! That Henderson boy went

right into the house with her.

[Shouting] Right into the house.

She and the Henderson boy,

the two of them.

Why shouldn't he go

in the house?

He's been hanging around

since he was old enough to wave bye-bye.

Nevertheless,

they happen to represent

two separate and distinct

members of the opposite sex.

- Alone, in that house.

- You tell them, kid.

With their parents all over Europe,

someone's got to keep an eye

on those girls.

Meantime,

by authority of

the Federal Communications Commission,

and the grace of

a kindly Providence,

which gave me the power of

not having to listen to people,

I am now going off the air.

Don't you dare take that thing off!

I haven't finished talking.

Good night, old woman.

I can't hear what you're sayin',

but whatever it is,

I disagree with you 100 percent.

[Canoe] You're out of peanut butter.

How come there aren't any olives?

- [Girl] Put them on the shopping list.

- Okay.

- Hi, DC.

- [Meowing]

You know, Patti,

sometimes you worry me.

You don't eat enough

to keep a bird alive.

Canoe. This is just a wild idea,

but has it ever occurred to you

there's more to life

than surfing and eating?

- Like what?

- Forget it.

I just realized

I was talking to myself.

- Hey, your folks are in Venice.

- I know.

Your father got indigestion

from a clam sauce, but feels better now.

Huh.

Bills, bills, bills.

Look at this, nothing but bills.

Surf news should be

comin' up about now.

You listen. I'm gonna straighten up

and go off to bed.

- Okay.

- Hi, DC.

Watch the crumbs, will you, fellas?

Pass the word. Watch the crumbs.

[TV announcer]

According to authorities,

the desperados and their victim

may have traveled north

in an effort to escape this area.

- Their car was discovered on...

- That's Miss Miller.

...outside of Fresno.

- Who?

Miss Miller, the Christmas Club window

at the bank.

- I've known her for years.

- Oh, yeah, so have I.

She goes to our Laundromat.

Kind of creepy, isn't it?

All this happening in your

own neighborhood, to people you know.

Want me to stick around

until your sister comes home?

- You know, the protecting bit.

- No, thanks.

All right.

[TV] And now, surters,

here's the word for tomorrow.

This is your Weather Gremmie with

the beach news for the a.m.

Goleta to Zuma,

sea conditions light to moderate.

Malibu, moderate in the early morning,

with some real heavies expected.

Hey, Pat, surf's up tomorrow at Malibu.

You want to go?

Yeah, sure.

Good night. [kisses]

Good night. [kisses]

That's all for tonight, surters.

The word is "go."

See you at the beach.

Mmm. Come on, here. Come on.

That's a good boy.

Good one.

Wow. 11:
15?

Man, I gotta get some sleep.

[Motor rewing loudly]

[Tires screeching]

- I thought we'd almost had it there.

- Sorry, one of Patti's friends.

Oh. [chuckling]

- Is it a date, then?

- Mm-hm.

You won't regret it, I'm sure.

Mother is an extremely fine cook.

- I'm sure she is, Gregory.

- Mother cooks the best duck.

And as for the duck,

did I tell you it was a Gadwall?

No, I don't believe you did.

I, uh, stood all day

in a duck blind to get it.

In the pouring rain.

I almost got pneumonia.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

- No. It's all right. It was worth it.

Well worth it.

It's a beautiful creature.

Perfectly beautiful. Superb eating.

Mother... Mother prepares duck

in the classic, old-fashioned way.

She hangs it out

on the screen porch

for 48 hours before cooking.

It makes all the difference

in the world.

- All the difference in the world.

- [Girl] I, um...

I'm looking forward

to meeting your mother.

I've heard so much about her.

I know you two are gonna be

the very best of friends.

And now, uh...

- Good night.

- Good night.

- I'll see you in the morning.

- Mm-hm.

- Same time as usual?

- Hmm.

[Barking]

[Growling]

[Growling]

[Tearing]

- [Barking]

- Quiet, Blitzy.

Good night,

my little beauties. [cooing]

[Growling]

[Meowing]

Oh!

[Knocking]

Okay, where's the duck?

- I beg your pardon.

- I want my duck!

Your duck?

If you please.

I'm sorry,

I really don't know...

[growling] Where is that sneaky,

miserable guttersnipe?

- He's got my duck.

- What duck?

Don't you dare pretend with me.

- I saw him come in here with it.

- You saw who come in?

Patricia Randall,

I have had all I can take.

That rotten cat of yours,

he molests my prize albino fantails,

crawls all over my car every time

I wash it with his muddy paws.

He digs up Mother's bulbs.

He's driven my dog to the brink

of a nervous breakdown.

You mean DC?

Well, I'm sorry,

but actually, he isn't my cat.

He isn't anybody's cat.

What are you talking about?

He lives here, doesn't he?

Of course, but don't you see?

You don't own someone like DC.

He's family.

[Sighing] Oh,

but what am I gonna do?

Shoot. I spent all day

in a duck blind.

Humph! Pouring rain.

And I get one duck.

One single Gadwall.

And that flea-raddled fiend

had to go and steal it.

I know you're upset,

but be honest. It was dark, wasn't it?

It could have been that nasty cat

from across the street.

The one who does everything

that DC gets blamed for.

- [Meowing]

- Now, do you think...

Oh, DC, how could you?

Hold this.

DC, give that to me this instant.

[Meowing]

I want you to know

I'm very, very disappointed in you.

Oh.

Oh, Gregory, I am sorry.

I can't think what

could have come over him.

Bad, bad cat. Ah!

"Bad, bad cat"?

You're a menace

to the whole neighborhood.

Mark you, if I had my way,

the authorities would

do away with you.

Now, wait a minute, Gregory.

DC's a cat.

He can't help his instincts.

He's a hunter, just like you are,

only he's not stupid enough

to sit out in the pouring rain all day.

Well!

Just let me make myself quite clear.

You better keep him locked up at night.

The next time I find him at our place,

I'll give him a pantsful of buckshot.

Nine times, if necessary.

[Meowing]

I know.

I don't care for him much, either.

But he does have a point,

don't you think?

Was that Gregory

I heard down there?

- Correct.

- He sounded angry.

Yeah, I believe he was.

- What goes on around here, anyway?

- Nothing, nothing at all.

DC just happened to take a duck

off Gregory's back porch.

- "Happened" to take a duck?

- Yes.

Gregory came stamping and banging

over here to find it.

Furious. Made a perfect fool of himself.

I don't think he's a stable person.

- There goes my duck dinner.

- Your what?

He invited me to his house for dinner.

His mother was gonna fix the duck.

Fix the...

Ingrid, don't you see?

You're walking into a trap.

For goodness sakes, Gregory drives me

to work in the morning.

At night he picks me up

and he takes me home.

If he wants to go

to all that trouble,

the least I can do

is be courteous if he asks me to dinner.

How can you be so blind?

It began with

the old car pool routine, right?

Why shouldn't it? His law office

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