The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Page #3

have crept into my own house...

vilifying and besmirching

my honesty...

my fair name...

my integrity.

You talk a lot,

but I don't know how much you say.

There's nothing

to these silly rumors.

The sole purpose of our endeavor is the

musical betterment of American youth.

The way you put it,

it doesn't sound so bad.

Oh, you're a sensitive, intelligent

and highly creative person.

Let's talk this over.

I'm sure we can get together.

I've still got my doubts.

Serious doubts.

Make yourself comfortable.

Relax.

Have a smoke.

Have a cigar.

Don't mind if I do.

Something to eat?

Hot cakes, layer cakes,

fish cakes, peanut brittle...

the blue plate special

or chicken pot pie.

I don't mind if I do.

Something to drink?

Schnapps, sake,

slivovitz, Schwepps...

tequila, turtle tears

or just plain cocoa.

- I have no objection.

- Oh, but wait.

For such a distinguished guest,

the pride of our cellars.

Vintage pickle juice.

From our very own

pickle vineyards.

Just whiff that bouquet.

Cheers.

- Shall we dance?

- Don't mind if I do.

Come on

It's time we got together

'Cause it's get-together weather

And in get-together weather

together is just what we got to get

Come on

The weatherman's insisting

This is weather beyond resisting

This is get-together weather

Together is just what we got to get

What wonderful weather

to go on an outing

What wonderful weather

to run around shouting

What wonderful weather

for love to be sprouting

It's mighty fine weather

I hope that it stays

What glorious weather

for zipping and zooming

What glorious weather

for hearts to be blooming

What glorious weather

for briding and grooming

It's mighty fine weather

we're having these days

Come on

The weatherman's reporting

That the weather's right

for sporting

And for love

and assorted courting

Together is just what we got to get

What marvelous weather

for cooing and billing

For yodeling, warbling

gargling, trilling

What marvelous weather

for dally-down-dilling

What marvelous weather

Hey, hey, what a day

What fabulous weather

for loping and leaping

What fabulous weather

for bipping and beeping

For schnipping and schnupping

and schnooping and schneeping

What fabulous weather

Oy vey, what a day

Come on

The weatherman's announcing

That the weather's right

for flouncing

And for b-b-b-b-b-bouncing

This is get-together weather

Together is just what we got to get

Come on

The weatherman's announcing

That the weather's right

for flouncing

And for b-b-b-b-b-bouncing

This is get-together weather

Together is just what we got

To get

Well, that was a pleasant

little interlude.

Now get back to your work,

Mr. Zabladowski.

Thanks, Doctor.

I had a very good time.

You can count on me, sir.

Cigar?

Good-bye, Mrs. Collins.

Mrs. Collins,

get me the physics laboratory.

Yes, sir.

One moment, please.

Physics laboratory.

When the plumber Zabladowski

has installed the last sink...

I want him disintegrated.

I want you

to disintegrate him slowly.

I want him to suffer,

atom by atom.

At dawn.

Mrs. Collins,

you had better come with me.

You're beginning to build up an immunity

to my little hypnotic trances.

I think you'd better

spend tonight...

in your lock-me-tight.

- Please, Dr. Terwilliker.

- There's too much at stake.

There'll be no further liaisons tonight

with the plumber Zabladowski.

You. You get out of my life.

You lied to me.

- I did not.

- You did so.

There's nothing wrong

with that Dr. Terwilliker.

He's daffy at times, but he sets a fine

table and gave me this excellent cigar.

But how about my mother?

Say, there is a beautiful woman.

And as soon as I get the sinks in-

You were tricked,

Mr. Zabladowski.

Sure, I was tricked.

You tricked me.

But I have terrible news for you-

they're gonna disintegrate you at dawn.

You're crazy. You're lying again.

Get outta here. I got work to do.

Listen to a kid,

it gives you nothing but trouble.

Get back to your cell.

Go on!

Now,just because we're kids

Because we're sort of small

Because we're closer

to the ground

And you are bigger

pound by pound

You have no right

You have no right

To push and shove

us little kids around

Now,just because your throat

Has got a deeper voice

And lots of wind to blow it out

At little kids

who don't dare shout

You have no right

You have no right

To boss and beat

us little kids about

just because you've whiskers

on your face to shave

You treat us like a slave

So what

It's only hair

just because

you wear a wallet near your heart

You think you're twice as smart

You know that isn't fair

But we'll grow up some day

And when we do, I pray

We won't just grow

in size and sound

And just be bigger

pound by pound

I'd hate to grow

Like some I know

Who push and shove

Us little kids around

Hey, kid!

Hey, Bart, come here.

Would it help

if I said I was sorry?

No, 'cause

you're not a bit sorry.

Come here, Bart, over here.

I just wanna get one thing straight-

I didn't mean to push you around.

I don't like anybody

that pushes anybody around.

Now, do you believe me?

Well...

maybe.

Right now

I don't like you very much.

I'm a likable fellow

when you get to know me.

I'm not so sure anymore.

Well, how can we be friends again?

Well...

you could take out those sinks.

What good would that do?

It would stop Terwilliker from opening

this place, and my ma would be saved.

I told you,

I wouldn't worry about your ma.

You wouldn't, but I would.

Look, let's make sense,

shall we?

How can I start taking sinks out

when I'm being paid to put sinks in?

Time and a half overtime.

That's a lot of money.

- How much are you being paid overtime?

- Two thousand pastoolas.

Two thousand what?

Two thousand pastoolas.

Dr. T. doesn't pay me in American money.

He keeps that for himself.

He pays me in pastoolas.

What are pastoolas?

The currency here

is a little strange.

First of all comes the drakmids.

At the normal rate of exchange...

there are 59 drakmids

to one silver zlobek.

Zlobek?

Three silver zlobeks

make one golden kratchmuk.

A pastoola normally

is 44,000 kratchmuks.

But these, they tell me,

are not normal times, so-

Pastoolas, kratchmuks.

How much do you get American?

Precisely 20 bucks.

Show me a better job, and I'll take it.

- You will?

- Oh, sure, sure.

- Will you take the sinks out for $30?

- Oh, sure, sure.

- Will you shake on that?

- Oh, sure.

- Mr. Zabladowski, you work for me now.

- Okay, boss man.

I'm gonna get you

all the money you want.

Wait, Bart! Come back!

I was only kidding!

I don't care anything about money!

Mom! Mom!

- I don't recollect your features, do I?

- No.

- You a piccolo player?

- No.

- Trombone player?

- No.

- Violin player?

- No. A piano player.

Then you have no right

in this particular dungeon.

This is reserved exclusive

for non-piano players.

Non-piano players?

For them what play

all other instruments.

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