The 60 Yard Line Page #2

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you sign, sign this for me?

75 man roster, hand-written.

Uh, yeah, sure.

Can you make it

out to Miss Hot Back?

- Miss Hot Back.

- That's my wife.

Fianc.

- I'm sure you'll figure it out.

- Yeah.

- We are figuring it out, and...

- Yeah, Bears.

Uh, does anyone ever call

you The Tausch Mahal?

- That's not funny.

- Uh, no.

Yeah, he does open mics,

stand-up, so down, uh...

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Good.

- Good.

All right, yes. So, uh, so yeah,

keep stepping in the bucket.

Pullin', pullin' and crushin',

active feet, elbows in.

Sure. Will do.

Take care.

He's huge.

I don't know what

his problem was.

I thought Tausch Mahal was gold.

[Ben] Could this

day get any better?

Are you boys lost?

Dumb? Or both?

This house for sale?

No, the house in

China directly under us,

through the Earth.

As in somebody could buy it

and live in it, right next to...

People don't give

up these houses.

I got a few questions for ya.

First, what's your

name, old-timer?

- Rick Warner.

- Okay, that was an easy one.

Second question,

what is your deal?

I'm too old for

this craziness.

I'm moving to Florida.

You boys interested

in the house or what?

Ah, hey. I'll ask the

questions here, Rick.

Final question, is it required

for all old people

to move to Florida?

[men chanting Zagger]

Huddle.

Think about it.

No more parking lot living room.

We could have an

actual living room.

It would be like the

40, the 50, The Sixty,

The Sixty Yard Line,

that's what we'll call it.

The Sixty Yard Line.

Aren't your funds a little

tied up at the moment?

No. Yes. Maybe.

But this is perfect

for Amy and I.

It's perfect for me.

I can get divorce-drunk here.

[Ben] I mean Amy

likes the Pack.

Yeah.

But she also really wants

the wedding really bad.

Yeah. Okay, ready? Break!

Ugh, I'm sorry, but I

just, I can't do it...

Hey, Rick!

What's up, fellas?

...wait to become

a home-owner.

- I'll take it.

- [Boy] Ahman, man!

You haven't said one word

about the practice today.

- Did our offense look tight?

- Oh, yeah. It was real tight.

It was like

jeans-out-of-the-dryer tight.

They ran a lot of slot plays.

Green Right, Strong Slot two.

Go left. Uh, Y Banana.

It's fun to just say

slot and Y Banana,

in the same sentence and

not make it sound dirty?

Right. Right.

Go right, go right.

- Oh, gosh.

- Right.

I'm sorry, I got

confused with the plays.

And I got you this.

Oh, my gosh!

- Wait, who?

- Tauscher.

I love him, his hair.

And while we were there,

Ahman Green rode right by,

and guess what he said?

He looked right at us, and

he's like, "What's up, fellas?"

- Go right.

- What is this little surprise?

- Close your eyes.

- I'm driving.

- Perfect, do it anyways.

- No.

[Ben] Pull in here.

Right here, this is it.

Come on, come on.

- [Amy] What's going on?

- Just don't speak.

I know just what

you're thinking.

[Amy] Don't give me

the No Doubt treatment.

What's going on?

Okay. Just wait.

- How do you have a key?

- Shh.

[Ben] No talking.

What?

[upbeat music]

Oh, you're too, oh, sorry.

First back here.

Okay, so there's this, huh?

Okay, now back inside.

So...

Right?

Oh, oh, I can speak now?

Oh, yeah.

I mean I just, I was thinking,

I love you, and...

So glad that you came

to that conclusion.

And holy balls, I

want to marry you.

- But...

- But?

Just hold on.

If we get married while

we're still in our apartment,

are we really taking our

relationship to the next level,

which is what we

both want, right?

But if we buy a house together,

that's huge.

Ben.

What did you do?

Did you buy this house?

Surprise!

This is the little surprise

that you were talking about?

No.

- Yes.

- Ben!

- [Ben] Maybe?

- What? What?

- Listen.

- What?

I have it all planned out.

This is a place for

our family, too.

We can start a family.

Right there is where our son

strong safety, Teddy Zagowski,

will take his first steps.

And then right there

is where our daughter,

first female General

Manager, Juliette Zagowski,

will learn to assess the draft.

And right out back in

the yard is where...

- Surprise!

- Oh, my gosh!

My god, dude! Come on!

- Congratulations!

- Geez!

Geez, I almost...

- What are you doing here?

- I woulda blocked it.

Ah, I just wanted to be

here for the big moment.

Plus, Tracey keeps

going by my apartment

asking about her red sweater,

which I don't have because I

burned it in a fit of rage.

Welp...

I'll leave you two

lovebirds to the new nest.

Norwegian corner.

So, what do you think?

Please tell me that you robbed

a bank or won the lottery.

Oh, we're still

gonna have a wedding.

We're gonna have a wedding.

Don't, don't worry about that.

I'll start saving

again, and, and besides,

we can use the house

for the wedding.

We could put the, the,

um, the Tabernacle,

chuppah thing on the back deck,

and the house is

a wedding venue.

- It's called an altar.

- Altar! That's it.

I guess the house

is kind of cute.

Yes!

[upbeat music]

[Polano] Don't tell

Tracey about the sweater.

[upbeat music]

[Ben] Perfect.

All right.

[Commentator]

Brown drops back,

gets going down the left

side line for eight yards.

Nick Shommer makes the

stop for Tennessee,

and the Packers are starting

to see a little light

for this offense

in the second half.

This is not where I

imagined getting drunk.

Tiny TV, scented candles.

There are birds

everywhere in this place.

Amy says it fits our age.

- And where's your chair?

- Around.

This place looks

like Pier One Imports

took a pure deuce export.

- And what does that mean?

- [Ben] She loves it.

But do you Live,

Laugh, Love it?

You know, it's words.

Oh, my God.

Dude, this is your house, too.

Where is the pride for

those green and gold wimps

you call The Pack?

Oh, you mean

the 12 time champions?

- Yeah.

- That just scored.

That kid is sick.

I don't know how you

see that in that TV.

They're...

It's fine, I can see it.

What are you,

this is pre-season.

- Hey, love.

- My dad gave us some venison.

- You bums want any or no?

- Yes.

- Yes.

- With a side

of Verbena Lemongrass

candles, please Amy, thanks.

- How'd you know that scent?

- How did you know that scent?

That is not

important right now.

What happened to the idea

of The Sixty Yard Line?

You own a house next

to Lambeau Field,

and there is no

football stuff in here.

Where is the football?

I suppose we could get a

couple of football things.

Are you serious?

You'd be cool with that?

- Sure.

- Yes, awesome.

- Navy blue and orange.

- Green and gold!

- Don't be dumb.

- Promise me less pillows.

[phone ringing]

I realize I've only been

regional manager

here for about a week,

but, uh, you've

already stood out

as a valuable asset

to this company.

- Oh.

- You're very professional.

You're well-respected.

I guess you haven't

seen my arrest record.

I don't...

A sense of humor to boot.

I think many of our employees

could learn a lot from you.

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