The Adventures of Beatle

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Ready? On? I think it is.

Is it running?

WOMAN:
Yeah, go. Wait, no, hang on,

I'm not. Action!

So where should we start, you think?

WOMAN:
Just introduce yourself

and tell me about your company.

You wanna do a push up or something?

- No.

- Okay.

Okay.

Hi, I'm Beatle Boy... That's stupid, okay?

WOMAN:
It's not, it's cool. Do it again.

Hi, there, I'm Beetle Boyin,

and I'm gonna be your guide

on the fascinating journey through

the world of cold-blooded killing.

WOMAN:
Tell me about yourself, Beetle.

Uh... ever want to kill somebody?

I know I do.

Whoa, sorry.

Not a Hitman, you say.

Well, that's not a problem.

Just follow the instructions in my easy

to follow video, and you too...

WOMAN:
Nah, that sounds weird.

- How many times do we have to do this?

- What do you think? We got everything?

'Till I want to buy the video.

Hi, there, my name is Beetle Boyin,

and I'm here with

the first ever of its kind,

instructional video for Hitmen.

Ever want to kill someone? I know I do.

It's easy, just follow the instructions

in my video, and you, too,

can be a Hitman.

WOMAN:
That was really good.

MAN:
This is some really, really

great stuff here, Beatle.

I mean it's just down right

entertaining all the way around.

You know what I like about it

the most though?

That even though the footage

is several years old.

There is no statue

of limitations on murder.

You know what that is?

Let me jog your memory. Dead body.

In your loft about seven years ago.

No? Nothing?

Well, based on the evidence at the time,

we couldn't charge you with a crime.

But that's all changed now, hasn't it?

Still not ringing a bell, huh?

Okay.

Maybe this will help.

Why don't you tell me about

your relationship with Athena Glendon?

How about Carla Garret?

You care to explain that one to me?

So you don't wanna talk about Athena,

you don't wanna talk about Carla?

Well, maybe we should

talk about Kyle Sullivan? Hm?

How bout we talk about the time

when you knocked him unconscious?

Did your connection to Kyle

kinda slip your mind

when you were giving

your statement to the police?

Look we got him now, okay?

And I gotta do everything I can

to keep this guy locked up.

So here's the deal.

You tell me everything you know.

And I'll do what I can in getting this

first degree murder charge reduced.

- Can I ask you a question, Randy?

- It's Detective Hult.

Hmm. Do you see handcuffs on my wrists?

No.

Okay, then. I think we can both agree

that I am not under arrest. Correct?

And I think we both know that's because

you can't charge me with anything.

Unless you can prove it.

Oh, I intend to, believe me, I do.

You see when we brought Kyle Sullivan

down and we went through his stuff.

I think you're gonna be surprised to know

that he had an awful lot of

information lying around.

But what I think you're gonna be

more surprised about Beatle?

Is that some of that evidence tells

a very compelling story about you.

I like to call it,

The Adventures of Beatle.

And it all begins April the 27th, 2006.

The day you met Athena Glendon.

[GASPS]

Uh, wait, uh.

It's four o'clock in the morning,

don't you think that you should,

um, stay and just get some rest?

Gotta run. See you next week.

[ALARM RINGING, MEOWING]

Shut... Shut up!

MAN:
The red hot action

starts tonight, at eight,

followed by an all new episode of...

WOMAN:
Isn't that the truth Phil?

- Well, folks, it's Thursday April 27th.

- Thursday. Sh*t!

We have a foggy start this morning.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sh*t. Sh*t!

Have a nice trip, buddy.

Okay, so, what's the total

for all the parking tickets?

What?

No. No, I'm still here.

Are you sure that's right? I mean...

I know it's eight tickets

but you could feed a family of four

for three f***ing months

with that kind of money.

No, I'm not.

Don't get snippy with me. Ma'am.

According to Athena's

bank statements at the time.

She had approximately

negative $27.38 to her name.

But Athena didn't get the money

from you did she? She got it from Kyle.

You know the guy

that you beat the sh*t out of?

I really don't get where you're

going with this, Randy.

It's Detective Hult.

And where I'm going is Kyle Sullivan.

- [HORN HONKING OUTSIDE]

- So it's come to this has it?

- You know I'll pay you back.

- I know you will, I know you will.

You realize, of course,

you're going to have to pay it

back in more ways than one.

You know my situation, Kyle.

Yeah, well, I know if you were still

managing the store for me

you wouldn't need to be

borrowing any money.

Yeah, and from what I understand,

they give you free room and board

in prison, so you're probably right.

Meanwhile,

I have a regular legal job as a career

and my car is sort

of an integral part of that.

- Ah.

- You gonna help me, or not?

Why should I?

I don't know.

Kyle, why don't you think of it

as workman's comp

for this krink in my neck

I'm getting from looking the other way.

Well, you know, Athena, I'd be happy

to rub that out for you myself.

- Stop.

- Oh, just calm down, tootsie pops.

Sit down.

Should I make it out to cash?

No, just to the city.

I don't have time to cash it.

They are going to tow my car at three.

I'll call you tonight.

Next!

Hi, um... I have a boot on my car.

We don't take checks.

Oh, but, um... I just, I spoke to someone.

We don't take checks, people!

The lady on the phone.

We don't take checks.

The lady on the phone said you did.

I'm sorry but what do her

DMV issues have to do with me?

I want to talk about your doctor.

- Who?

- Your shrink.

I want to talk about Dr. Vanderark.

Okay.

I would appreciate it if you would

apologize to my secretary

before you leave today.

- Why?

- I think you know why.

- Can I help you?

- I very seriously doubt it.

You can't go in there, he's with

a patient, and you can not smoke!

There. Happy?

HULT:
We'll come back to that.

So you were making trouble

while Athena was having her own problems.

I mean what makes you think that I have

that kind of cash just lying around?

Does it seem like I've been

lobotomized in the past six months?

Turn around. Turn around!

You know, you have a really

nice ass, Athena.

You should think about

wearing shorter dresses.

Okay, you can turn around.

Now, why don't you take my car,

you're gonna be

coming back here anyway, right?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, good.

Okay. It's yours.

So she goes to this guy for cash

and gets the keys to the car.

Uh-huh?

The car that later breaks down

and bingo, he calls a tow truck, you!

A tow truck?

So now I'm a tow truck driver,

not an assassin?

Well, every assassin has a cover, right?

DR. VANDERARK:
Yes, and you were saying?

Oh, yeah. So, I went to go

kill this guy today, right.

And before I did, I sorta said that

I thought that he might deserve it.

And then I got to thinking about it

later and I realized that,

that wasn't really a very nice

thing to say. So, I felt bad.

- I wanna stop you right there, Ronda.

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