The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension Page #19

THEIR POV341

An angry John Bigbooté racing down the stairs toward the Jet Car...as

over the PUBLIC ADDRESS BOOMS:

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

WHERE IS THE OVERTHRUSTER!

BACK TO:
342

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

I thought you had it!

For that seemingly flippant but honest answer, Buckaroo gets punched by

John Bigbooté...doubling him over...

DR. LIZARDO'S VOICE

Take him to the Shock Tower!

INT. YOYODYNE SHOCK TOWER - NIGHT343

Murky, dank, an insect paradise...Buckaroo standing trapped inside an

ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELD...John Bigbooté looking on...

...Dr. Lizardo flashing two separate, incredibly complex ELECTRICAL

DIAGRAMS on A MONITOR SCREEN in rapid-fire order.

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

Solve them! The shock tower is a lie detector. Any untruth triggers a

brutal charge to your auditory meatus...

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

You're not getting a damn thing outta me until Penny's safe.

DR. LIZARDO

Curse you, Banzai! Don't you realize what you're saying? Your planet's

about to be destroyed, and you're wasting time like this...

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

I've got nothing but time.

CLOSE ON THE POLYGRAPH NEEDLE SUDDENLY JUMPING!344

345

THE TOWER ZAPPING BUCKAROO, A FIERCE ELECTRIC SHOCK TOSSING HIM BACK

AND FORTH LIKE A RAG DOLL...

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife...doomed is your soul, and

damned is your life!

Lizardo pressing a button, administering a second SHOCK to Buckaroo,

while an aide turns a dial, INCREASING THE VOLTAGE

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

I want my missing circuit now!

INT/EXT. PRESIDENT'S HELICOPTER - NIGHT346

A VIEW OVER THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE'S SHOULDER as the chopper

descends, lands in a parking lot where Buckaroo's bus sits guarded by

Cavaliers and Blue Shields...THE CAMERA FOLLOWING the Secretary right

out into it all...A CARPET CLEANING VAN ARRIVING, THREE MORE TOUGH BLUE

SHIELD IRREGULARS REPORTING FOR WORK..."THE RUG SUCKERS".

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Who the hell are those guys? Where's Buckaroo?

INT. YOYODYNE SHOCK TOWER - NIGHT347

Buckaroo still held in his electric straitjacket...Lizardo nodding to

the ARACHTOID in charge of a bank of glowing closed circuit TV

sets...the same picture popping onto every set: PENNY HANGING IN "THE

PIT".

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

You bloody--!

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

She'll live...for a while, and she won't enjoy it.

Lizardo indicates his favorite monitor...the INCOMPLETE OVERTHRUSTER

equation flashing across its face.

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

Only you can save her from the fate of your friend, Mr. Rawhide! Solve

this equation. I must have the crucial missing circuit.

CLOSE ON THE MONITOR...a riot of circuits and junctions...348

BACK TO:
349

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

The missing circuit's in your head, Whorfin.

DR. LIZARDO

Whorfin? How do you know that's my real name?

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

John Emdall told me.

Buckaroo smiles at Lizardo's surprise, Lizardo signaling John Bigbooté

who turns on the voltage, ZAPPING Buckaroo!

INT. BUCKAROO'S BUS (PARKED) - NIGHT350

The Secretary of Defense pacing the aisle of the bus, looking at his

watch while the Cavaliers and newly arrived Blue Shields conceal their

eagerness for battle...checking watches, cleaning weapons.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Anybody got a report-anybody got anything? Or are we still blacked

out?

Perfect Tommy looking back into World Watch One...

PERFECT TOMMY:

Light precipitation. Partly cloudy tomorrow.

SECREATARY OF DEFENSE

This bus should be in the hands of Defense.

...Scooter Lindley, wearing a gas mask, approaches the alien John

Parker with a BLUE SHIELD BALLPOINT PEN and a piece of paper...

SCOOTER LINDLEY:

Could I have your autograph, Mr. Parker?

John Parker at first not understanding the nature of the

request...looking at the ball-point pen, Scooter flipping the point for

him...

SCOOTER LINDLEY:

Say, "To my best friend Scooter..."

JOHN PARKER:

You got it.

...the Secretary of Defense, NERVOUSLY CRACKING HIS KNUCKLES...moving

up the aisle, suddenly screaming:

SCRETARY OF DEFENSE

What the hell are we doing?! I don't believe this...what're we waiting

for? Christmas?

PROF. HIKITA

(checking his watch)

Ten minutes more. Buckaroo's orders.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Damn Buckaroo! I'm the eyes and ears of the President of these United

States of America! In loco presidentis! Which means I'm in charge

here!

PERFECT TOMMY:

Not on this bus, you're not.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Who the hell do you think you are?

PERFECT TOMMY:

Perfect Tommy.

That answer alone enough to drive the Secretary up the wall...

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Well let me tell you something, Mr. Perfect Tommy: I don't need this

sh*t. I could be on Easy Street with a cushy job in the private

sector. But instead, I got me a nine-hundred-million-dollar way-the-

hell-behind-schedule top-secret bomber being built down there by

Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems and I don't intend to set twiddling thumbs

in a bus while Buckaroo Banzai goes crashing around my airplane looking

for his damn girlfriend, driving a car that itself is probably worth

more to this country than all the tea in China! I'm talking National

Security risk and we are going in there like gentlemen and straighten

this thing out before somebody gets hurt! You got that?

...the Secretary suddenly grabbing a weapon from a surprised Blue

Shield and turning it toward the driver...

REVERSE ANGLE...THE SECRETARY CRACKING A SHOT OFF AT THE WINDSHIELD!

351

352

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

Hit it, soldier boy! Move this buggy! That's a goddamn executive

order!

With his weapon trained on the driver, who's to stop him?

PERFECT TOMMY:

Go ahead, Louie, do like the man says.

EXT. HIGHWAY NEAR YOYODYNE - NIGHT353

The double bus leaping forward, heading down the long approach road to

Yoyodyne...past a BILLBOARD touting the aerospace achievements

of...YOYODYNE-AN EXCITING, GROWING COMPANY...JUST ONE MILE

AHEAD...PATROLLED BY AIRCRAFT.

INT. BUCKAROO'S BUS - NIGHT354

The Cavaliers letting the Secretary of Defense call the shots for the

moment, talking among themselves, Perfect Tommy squelching any notion

of knocking off their hysterical hijacker:

PERFECT TOMMY:

(whispering)

Hey, so we get into action quicker this way. We tell Buckaroo our

watches were fast.

Ordinary citizen John Parker taking a step toward the Secretary,

offering him a gas mask...the Secretary turning on him...

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

That's far enough, black boy...

A mystified John Parker stepping back.

355

ANGLE TOWARD WINDSHIELD...the Secretary peering through the windshield

at the chain link gates coming into view...YOYODYNE-AN EQUAL

OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.

REVERSE ON356

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

I'll handle the negotiations here...

(to the driver)

Slow her down.

EXT. GUARD GATE/YOYODYNE - NIGHT357

The Secretary getting out, coming around to the REDHEADED YOYODYNE

GUARDS who try to peer in through the bus' tinted windows...

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

You fellas got a phone? Ring ahead and get me John Bigboote. Tell

him...

GUARD:

It's Bigbooté.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE

What? Hell, I'll do it yourself if I want it done right, huh?

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