The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension Page #18

NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR

(being handed a dispatch)

Soviet radar is down, sir, and so is ours. We're both totally

defenseless. More or less.

GENERAL CATBURD:

Hail Mary.

PRESIDENT WIDMARK

So what's our counter option, General Catburd? Earn your salary.

GENERAL CATBURD:

I guess we have to prick this boil and take the heat, sir. Hit 'em

primero...blast 'em off the face of the Earth before they lose their

heads and do it to us first.

PRESIDENT WIDMARK

Larry, where's my Football?

NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR

Out in the hall, sir.

INT. WALTER REED HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - NIGHT326

An apple-cheeked Marine Lieutenant sits watching a television soap

opera, only the sinister BLACK BRIEFCASE chained to his wrist setting

him apart from missions of other viewers...General Catburd sticking his

head out of the President's room...

GENERAL CATBURD:

What're you waiting for, boy? Get in here with that thing.

...as an out-of-breath Mrs. Johnson rounds the corner on rollerskates,

out-foxing SECRET SERVICE AGENTS and the rest of the President's

entourage, cutting through, clutching the YELLOW RECORD...

MRS. JOHNSON

For the President! From Buckaroo Banzai!

EXT. RENDEZVOUS POINT - NIGHT327

A dimly lighted parking lot not far from Yoyodyne. A KOLODNY BROS.

PLUMBING VAN arrives, disgorging several tough BLUE SHIELDS as Buckaroo

and Professor Hikita confer...the alien John Parker doing some highly

unusual warm-up exercises on the tarmac...Reno telling the arriving

Blue Shields:

RENO:

We're waiting for the Jet Car. Billy's bringing it.

PERFECT TOMMY:

A**hole probably got lost.

NEW JERSEY:

Or nailed for speeding.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Can I have everyone's attention? I'm not a rah-rah kinda guy, and I'm

not much for speeches, but things could get rough out there tonight.

It's a fight we didn't ask for, but it's a fight we're stuck with and

we all saw what happened to Rawhide. So if for any reason this is

good-bye, I want you all to know that...well...that...you crazy lugs...

Buckaroo finding it difficult to put into words what they all mean to

him, the Cavaliers smiling, needling him...

RENO:

What, Buckaroo? You trying to tell us something?

The JET CAR racing up, skidding to a stop, Billy jumping out, the big

engine still running.

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Let's just fry those arachtoids.

Buckaroo embracing Professor Hikita, turning back to his men, pulling

on his helmet:

BUCKAROO BANZAI:

Give me thirty minutes. Then come in and mop up.

Buckaroo tossing a quick Blue Shield salute, shutting himself into his

speed machine.

328

PROF. HIKITA'S POV as Buckaroo blasts off...an exhaust trail of white

smoke as he rockets up the highway!

INT. YOYODYNE - NIGHT329

Penny Priddy, more bedraggled and filthy than ever, being dragged by

John O'Connor deeper into the bowels of Yoyodyne, down a flooded

subterranean corridor...

INT. WALTER REED ARMY HOSPITAL - NIGHT330

CLOSE ON THE PRESIDENT'S FACE...JOHN EMDALL'S VOICE OVER...talking

thermonuclear war...wrapping her speech up...WHOOSH!

PRESIDENT WIDMARK

Well... that's certainly food for thought.

331

Mrs. Johnson lifting the needle off the SMOKING RECORD...as the

President's National Security Advisor places a call on that ominous

STRANGE PHONE, a palpable tension rising, urgency bordering on panic...

...General Catburd and the young Marine lieutenant rummaging through a

confusion of envelops in the BLACK BRIEFCASE.

NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR

No answer at the Kremlin, sir. Just dead silence.

GENERAL CATBURD:

Here you go, Mr. President...the Sealed Authenticators. The Plan D

Documents for your eyes only...John-Hancock these, and we got ourselves

a knockout little force posture...

SENATOR CUNNINGHAM

You know, on second thought, maybe we should think this through a bit

more so that future generations of...

THE LIGHTS IN THE ROOM START TO BLINK ON AND OFF...silencing the

Senator...Catburd handing the President a writing implement...pulling

out a special writing tray from the bed...

PRESIDENT WIDMARK

"Name of the enemy"? What, Planet 10? My hand's shaking. How on

earth can I even...have to stay awake, alert...that's my job. That's

what the people put me here for.

INT. FATHER SHIP - NIGHT332

Meanwhile inside the strange vaporous entity...BLACK CREATURES scuttle

about their jobs in semi-darkness, monitoring the Earth below...

BLACK ARACHTOID COMMANDER

Where is Buckaroo Banzai?

BLACK ARACHTOID AT SCOPE

John Parker tells us he's approaching Yoyodyne, Wing Commander, sir.

BLACK ARACHTOID COMMANDER

Keep me posted.

EXT. MAIN GATE/YOYODYNE - NIGHT333

...as Buckaroo arrives in his JET CAR...RED ARACHTOID GUARDS unlocking

the chain link barrier, swinging it open...

INT. SPEED OPERATOR'S PULPIT (YOYODYNE) - NIGHT334

In the nerve center of Yoyodyne, a nervous John Bigbooté watches Dr.

Lizardo addressing his ragtag followers on the floor below...Bigbooté

with his hands on Lizardo's mike cord, trying to get up enough nerve to

pull the plug on his boss...

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

Blacks are on this planet! Here in New Jersey! Coming to destroy us! We

must move! Escape or die!

335

OVER LIZARDO'S SHOULDER: A view down below on the littered floor of a

huge aircraft factory that houses a GIANT SPOACESHIP OF BIZARRE DESIGN,

a customized 747, wingless, jagged, the entire vehicle suspended twenty

feet off the floor on movable cranes, work ladders stretching up to its

several doors...

DOCTOR LIZARDO:

You must work faster to finish the Great Vehicle. So that we can enter

the Eighth Dimension and free our trapped comrades! So we can return to

our homeland and seize power once again!

...Lizardo's followers extending their three-fingered hands in fascist

salutes as he whips them into a feverish state:

BACK TO:
336

DR. LIZARDO

Where are we going? Tell me!

RED ARACHTOIDS:

To Planet 10!

DR. LIZARDO

When?

RED ARACHTOIDS:

Real soon!

Dr. Lizardo peers down at the hangar floor.

337

HIS POV of the JET CAR locked in the iron jaws of a GIGANTIC ROLLING

MACHINE...

INT. JET CAR/LAUNCH HANGAR - NIGHT338

The Jet Car's engine shut down, Buckaroo CHECKING HIS OVERTHRUSTER

HOMING DEVICE as he's trundled toward John Gomez, in a graveyard of

HUGE YELLOW SPIKES, his eyes taking in everything, from the last-minute

preparation of the GIANT SPACECRAFT to:

339

BUCKAROO'S POV...the evil figures of Dr. Lizardo and John Bigbooté

standing high in the speed operator's pulpit...

340

Buckaroo yanked out of the cockpit...John Gomez poking at the JET CAR'S

dashboard, ripping out its cassette deck, finding the crucial

Overthruster missing and shaking his head in Lizardo's direction.

JOHN GOMEZ:

Not here!

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote