The Adventures of Huck Finn Page #7

with all them murderers?

Yeah.

Your Pap was one of'em.

I saw him, and he was dead.

Dead?

Pap's dead?

- You saw him and you didn't tell me?

- I'm sorry.

I'm dreadful sorry.

I was so selfish.

That was a lie, Jim.

That was a lie!

And I thought we were friends.

I did wrong.

Ain't no gettin' around it.

Now I'm gonna get

what I deserve.

- Hey, boy!

- Take care of yourself, Mr. Finn.

Now, where have you been,

you little turd pie?

just playin' with

the damn dog next door.

Just playing with the little doggies?

I oughta...

Just stay right here today!

Understand? Hmm?

Ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen!

What's that

old fool up to now?

Me dear brother and I have a little

announcement we'd like to make.

It don't seem right...

for William and I to leave

these little lambs...

without any kinfolk around.

So we have decided,

er, Mary Jane,

Julia, Susan...

We have decided...

to take you back

with us to England!

We'll be havin' an auction

tomorrow mornin'...

after the funeral,

- so tell one and all!

- We will be selling everything!

We're going to England!

I figured that

before I took off,

I'd grab that gold

away from them two frauds.

Then when I was long gone,

I'd write Mary Jane

and tell her where I hid it.

Well, what is it?

Make it quick.

I gotta tell ya, King,

I'm just not comfortable.

That doctor's been layin'

on my mind all day.

We should just glide out

of here tonight with what we got.

And not sell the rest

of the property?

I reckon these sacks of gold

are plenty for me.

I figure we should just

knock off and light out.

We can't leave thousands of

dollars worth of property lying around.

What about

the damn doctor?

Forget about the doctor!

He's the only one that's suspicious.

Everyone else

is on our side!

Now, look, Duke, old friend.

My brains and your bullocks,

we ain't never

gonna get caught.

Yeah, all right.

Well, just let me

take another peek at that gold...

before we head back down.

Slice of heaven, King.

Feels like a slice of heaven.

Come on!

My Pap were a bad one,

but he were my Pap.

If you see him,

tell him Huck says hello.

Good night!

Where's the stiff?

- What? Who?

- The coffin! Where's the coffin?

We buried him this morning.

And ever since, Uncle Harvey's

been having the auction.

First thing he sold

were the slaves.

He separated the families.

- Come on!

- Where are we going?

- Got any friends out in the country?

- Yes, the Lothrups. Why?

If I tell you somethin', promise not to

come back here until 10:00 tonight.

- Now, why would I do that?

-Just promise me, Mary Jane!

All right, I...

I promise. Say...

what happened

to your accent?

Those uncles of yours

ain't no uncles at all.

They ain't even English.

Dr. Robinson was right.

Them two are liars and frauds.

- What?

- Don't you worry! I got the gold.

When this all blows over, I'll write

and tell ya where it's buried.

Oh, no. I'm gonna get those two

right now and get 'em tarred...

No, you're not, Mary Jane.

You promised me.

Why until 10:
00?

'Cause there's a good-hearted fellow

I gotta save,

and at 10:
00, we'll be gone.

Come on.

Well, why do I have

to leave town?

Why can't I just pretend

I don't know?

Because there ain't an easier book

to read than your face.

You'd give it away

for sure.

Even $225... $225...

$225... $240... $275...

$300... now higher...

- $350.

- $375... $375...

- Yeah.

- $375 and a $400.

Even $400. Sold, $400!

Let's sell the next lot.

Mary Jane

was safe, the gold was safe,

them reptiles

would soon be in jail,

and at 10.00 tonight, Jim and me

would be on a steamboat...

headin'for Cairo.

All I had to do

was find that deputy,

steal his keys,

and break Jim oouut!

- Oh, I told you...

- Let me go!

- not to disappear! Didn't I?

- Let me go!

Oh, now,

don't kill him...just yet.

Answer up, and quick.

- Were you in our room last night?

- No, your maj... Unh!

Where is our money?

I ain't seen it since

Mary Jane gave it to ya.

Honest, your majesties!

If I stole it, would I still be here?

No, I guess not,

unless you're a complete numskull.

Uh-oh.

Here's another

set of Wilks brothers!

Just got here on

the Mississippi Queen!

Ya pays your money

and ya takes your pick!

Now is the hour of

your demise, you impostors!

What's this all about,

my good sir?

- Please let the man through!

- That's right!

I'm with you, Harvey.

I am Harvey Wilks,

and this is my brother William.

And you two gentlemen

are quite a surprise to us.

And you to us, sir.

But I must say,

you should have worked on your

English accent a wee bit more!

For this town

has few fools,

and only a fool would be

fooled by that foolish accent.

That's the worst

English accent I ever heard.

- Ain't nothin' like yours, Harve.

- I'm not very well fixed...

to show proof of

these frauds at the moment,

for last night,

all our bags were put off by mistake.

- Convenient mistake, huh?

- Yeah, convenient.

What are you doing?

What's he doing?

Making deaf and dumb signs,

that's what he's doing.

- Don't your brother know how?

- Those are just nonsense!

And of course William

can do real ones,

only he broke

his arm in a fall.

Ah-ha-ha!

Broke his arm, very likely,

for a man who's got to make

deaf signs to prove himself.

Oh, wait,

wait, wait!

Now, I'm not sure these two

are the real Wilks brothers,

but by God, I know

them two sure ain't.

By the way, Adolphus,

- are you from England?

- Why, yes, I am.

Speak the truth now,

or by God, there's gonna be

one less idiot around here.

That is to say, sir,

I'm originally from Missouri,

but several years ago,

I was sent to England...

to live with

my great-grandfather,

- the Duke of Bilgewater.

- Bilgewater?

But he died last year,

and his good friend,

Mr. Harvey Wilks here,

took me in.

Personally, I think

you're just a damn good liar.

Why, thank you for

the compliment, sir.

All right, enough.

We're gonna figure out

who's who right here and now,

and nobody's goin' nowhere

until we do.

Well, they sailed

into the investigation,

hour in and hour out,

the King tellin'

one story and Harvey Wilks another.

But no one knew nothin'

about England,

so they couldn't

figure out who was lyin'.

Although most people were comin'

to believe they both was.

I got it! I got it!

I can prove I'm Harvey Wilks

and these men frauds!

Why didn't I think

of it sooner?

Now, who here

helped lay out my brother...

- the late Peter Wilks... in his

coffin? Hmm? - They did!

Me and Abe here dressed him up

and layed him out ourselves.

All right, then.

Perhaps you can tell me what was

tattooed on Peter's breast.

Come on!

Come on, out with it!

We want to hear it!

- Out with it!

- Yeah!

All right, all right.

I can tell you what was tattooed

on his breast, all right.

You'd have to look

real close to notice it.

Just tell us

what the tattoo is about!

Come on, out with it!

Tell him!

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