The Adventures of Mark Twain Page #5

no real force...

...except when one is well-fed.

I find she's at least a companion.

I would be lonely and depressed

without her...

...now that we've lost our property.

Tuesday.

She says it is ordered

that we will work for a living hereafter.

She will be useful.

I will superintend.

-What is it?

-Fire.

-How do you know?

-lt looks like fire.

It annoyed him that I should know,

and he must ask.

-How did it come?

-l made it.

-What are these?

-Coals.

He picked one up, but changed

his mind and put it down again.

Then he went away.

Nothing interests him.

I was mistaken about her

in the beginning.

Perhaps it is better to live

outside the garden with her...

...than inside without her.

Would you like to see my etchings?

Eve calls it ''Cain. ''

I believe she caught it

in the timber.

It's a new and different

kind of animal.

A fish, perhaps.

Sometimes she carries it

in her arms half the night...

...when it complains

and wants to get to the water.

I have never seen her do this

with any other fish...

...and it troubles me greatly.

I have come to like Sundays.

Superintending all the week

tires the body so.

I have not seen a fish

that could laugh.

This makes me doubt.

I do not love Adam

on account of his brightness...

...though I think in time

it will develop.

He is self-educated...

...and really knows

a multitude of things.

But none of them are true.

lt isn't a fish.

Now, in my judgment, it is either

an enigma or some kind of bug.

l never had a thing perplex me so.

Perhaps l could take it apart

and see what its arrangements are.

It is not a kangaroo.

It is probably some kind of bear.

Mama. Papa.

This resemblance to words

is extraordinary...

...and is a thing

which no other bear can do.

This one will be less dangerous when

it has company of its own species.

I will make an exhaustive search.

Why do I love him?

I guess just because he is a man...

...and because he is mine.

It has been a weary hunt...

...yet I have had no success.

But without so much

as stirring from home...

...she has caught another one.

-Hi, Daddy.

-l never saw such luck.

-They were children.

-Good.

Adam and Eve

discovered it in time.

It was their coming

in that small shape that puzzled them.

Abel is a good boy...

...but if Cain had stayed a bear,

it would have improved him.

-What's going on?

-Here we go.

It is my deepest hope that we may

pass from this life together, but if--

But if one of us must go first,

let it be me.

For he is strong,

and I am weak and am not--

And am not so necessary

to her as she is to me.

Life without him would not be life.

How could I endure it?

Wind in the east.

l think we shall have rain.

-What is it?

-Well, it's a...

-...valentine.

-Valentine?

Where did you get that word?

Well, it-- lt looks like a valentine.

lt's a good word

and bears repeating.

The garden is lost...

...but I have found him

and am content.

Wherever she was...

...there was Eden.

l'm tired and old.

l wish l were with my Livy.

That's really why you want

to meet the comet, isn't it?

And l am looking forward to that.

But, Mr. Twain,

we're too young to die.

Die? Fiddlesticks.

You're not gonna die.

But how are we gonna get home?

Soon as l get to that comet,

this vessel's all yours.

-This ship?

-You mean it?

-Oh, bully!

-Oh, no.

Tom, the power.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

What in tarnation?

The power.

Dag blame it, what's going on?

-We smashed the power panel.

-What?

-We didn't know.

-We're trapped in here.

lf we can't get

to the emergency power switch...

-...the air bag will blow us all to hell.

-Oh, no.

-Tom Sawyer, l ought to knock your--

-The porthole. Come on.

Tom, let me try.

lt's too small.

-There must be a way.

-Wouldn't bet on it.

Homer. He can do it.

Homer? Huck, this is serious.

l been educating him.

He can do most anything.

lt's a chance in a million.

-At least give him a try.

-What else we got?

All right.

Huck,

the emergency power button...

...is just inside the back rail

near the helm...

...one foot forward

of the stabilizer control wheel.

What's the distance between my hand

and the stabilizer control wheel?

About 1 4 feet.

Fourteen and a half feet.

Homer, 1 4 and a half big ones

as the crow flies, inside the fence...

...hold the backflips until you see

the driver, slide one big one due east.

-What the--?

-lt's the pressure.

-Oh, no.

-Well, here goes.

All right, Homer. One for accuracy.

Drat. He missed.

-l knew he couldn't.

-What are we gonna do?

-Homer. Homer!

-Homer!

Homer! Come on, you old toad.

Hit the button.

Homer. Homer.

Will you listen to me, Homer?

-By jinks, he did it!

-Homer.

-Now, look lively, you swags.

-All right!

Let's go.

-Explorers, name your names.

-Huck Finn the Red-Handed.

-Becky Thatcher, Terror of the Skies.

-And Tom Sawyer, Aeronort.

To your battle stations.

Come on.

Homer, you're a hero.

Let's go.

There it goes.

-Damn, we missed it.

-Let's catch it.

Aye, aye. Hard astarboard.

Okay, here we go.

We need altitude.

Jettison the superfluous.

Toss the typesetter.

Worst damn investment l ever made.

Shove the formal wear.

l have all l need.

Hold on there.

Keep that manuscript.

lt won't be published for years.

We are fast rising from affluence

to poverty.

lt's way ahead of us.

-Ahead full.

-Right.

-Commission the auxiliary thrusters.

-Aye, aye, sir.

-All right, pour on the coal.

-Yes, sir.

All hands lay to.

Raise the stabilizers!

Put some steam into them.

Stabilizers activated, sir.

-Tom?

-Yes, sir.

Lower the pressure valve.

-Okay, we're catching it.

-Here, let me help, Tom.

Meteors.

Watch out ahead, sir.

Don't be afraid. Providence protects

children and idiots.

l know it's true. l've tested it.

-Tom!

-l got it.

We're gaining on her.

-We're hit.

-Fire up the handy retriever.

We got one.

Got another one.

-They're thinning out.

-This is critical.

We're entering the channel.

Huck, pull back

the thrusters one half.

-Aye, aye, captain.

-We must be very careful.

Getting shallow and murky.

-Can't see.

-Larboard lead there.

-To the sounding guns.

-Yes, sir.

Sound out.

Mark three.

-Mark three.

-Ahead one third.

Yes, captain.

Half twain.

-Starboard half twain.

-That's too close.

-Mr. Twain!

-Good God.

Hang on. Back two-thirds.

-Aye, aye, sir.

-Tom, sound out.

-Less twain.

-Port less twain.

Now stand by, Huck.

-Mark twain.

-Mark twain.

Mark twain.

Now let her have it.

Every ounce you've got.

Dad-blame.

-Hang on.

-Okay.

By jinks, we've done it!

-We made it.

-Doggone it.

That was bully.

Great guns, that was well done.

Cabbages to cauliflowers.

Yeah, okay, calm down, Homer.

Come on out and show yourself.

There you go,

scaring everybody again.

-Great Scott, look!

-And you haunted me long enough.

Let's get this over with.

-Two Mark Twains?

-What's going on?

-How can there be two of you?

-This is craziness.

Everyone is a moon

and has a dark side. . .

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