The African Queen Page #2

Blasting gelatin, tinned grub,

cylinders of oxygen and hydrogen,

heaps of things them Germans

could use. You can trust them for that.

The Germans.

See, I figure we could go somewheres

behind an island where it's quiet

- and we can talk about what to do.

- I'll get ready.

Fine. I'll be as quick as I can.

Let's go, miss.

Let's go while the going's good.

Pardon me.

Mind taking the tiller, miss? Come on.

- But I can't steer.

- Come on.

A little to starboard, miss.

No, no, the other way.

So far, so good.

Here we are, safe and sound,

as you might say.

- The question is, what next?

- Quite.

We got heaps of grub here, miss,

so we're all right as far as that goes.

Two thousand cigarettes.

Two cases of gin.

We could stay here for months

if we wanted to.

It's not a bad place to sit out a war,

then, is it, miss?

All the comforts of home,

including running water.

We simply can't remain here

in this backwater

until the war is over, Mr. Allnut.

Can't we, miss? You got the map.

Show me a way out and I'll take it.

The British will certainly

launch an attack.

The only question is,

which way will they come?

Maybe from the sea,

up the railway to Limbasi.

But that would put the Germans

between us and them.

Mightn't our soldiers

come in from British East, Mr. Allnut?

Yeah, they might,

but the war in Europe would be over

before they ever hacked their way

through that forest.

We're in a bit of a fix, miss,

no matter which way you look at it.

There's one thing certain.

They won't come up from the Congo,

not even if they wanted to.

They gotta cross that lake,

and nothing's going to cross that lake

while the Louisa's there.

- The Louisa? What's that?

- A hundred-ton steamer, miss.

The Germans brought her

overland in sections.

She's the boss of the lake

'cause she's got a six-pounder.

A six-pounder? What's that?

A gun, miss.

The biggest gun in Central Africa.

- I see.

- If it wasn't for the Louisa,

there wouldn't be nothing to it.

The Germans wouldn't last a month

if our men could get across the lake,

but all that don't get us

any closer to home, does it, miss?

This river, the Ulanga,

runs into the lake,

doesn't it, Mr. Allnut?

Well, yes, miss, it does,

but if you got any ideas

about going down to the lake

in this launch,

- you better get rid of them.

- Why?

Well, first off, there's Shona.

The Germans have a fort there

overlooking the river.

If we tried to pass under their guns,

they'd blow us right out of the water.

And then after that, miss,

there's the rapids.

A hundred miles of water

like it was coming out of a fire hose.

After that, why,

the river's even got a different name.

It's called the Bora.

That just goes to show you

they didn't even know

it was the same river

- until this fellow Spengler got...

- He got down it, I remember.

Yes, miss, in a dugout canoe.

He had a half a dozen Swahili paddlers.

Map-making, he was.

That was his map you was looking at.

- Mr. Allnut.

- Yes, miss?

What did you say is in these boxes

with the red lines on them?

Well, them, that's blasting gelatin, miss.

Is it dangerous?

Bless you, no, miss.

That's safety stuff, that is.

You can get it wet

and it don't do it any harm.

You set fire to it, and it just burns.

You can hit it with a hammer

and it won't go off.

At least, I don't think it will.

Takes a detonator to set it off.

I'll put it over the side, though,

if it worries you.

No, we may want it.

- Mr. Allnut.

- Yes, miss?

What are these long, round,

torpedo-like things?

Them? Them's oxygen

and hydrogen cylinders, miss.

- Mr. Allnut.

- I'm still right here, miss.

There ain't much of any other place

I could be on a 30-foot boat.

You're a machinist, aren't you? I mean,

wasn't that your position at the mine?

Yes, a kind of a fixer, jack of all trades

and master of none, like they say.

- Could you make a torpedo?

- How's that, miss?

- Could you make a torpedo?

- A torpedo?

Ask me to make a dreadnought,

and do it up right.

A torpedo, miss...

You don't really know

what you're asking.

You see, there ain't nothing so

complicated as the insides of a torpedo.

It's got gyroscopes, compressed

air chambers, compensating...

But all those things,

those gyroscopes and things,

- they're only to make it go, aren't they?

- Yeah.

Yeah, go and hit what it's aimed at.

Well, we've got the African Queen.

How's that, miss?

If we were to fill those cylinders

with that blasting gelatin

and then fix them so that

they would stick out

over the end of the boat,

and then run the boat

against the side of a ship,

they would go off,

just like a torpedo, wouldn't they?

Yeah, yeah, if they had detonators

in the ends.

We could... What do you call it?

Get a good head of steam up,

and then point the launch toward a ship,

and just before she hits,

we could dive off, couldn't we?

Sure, miss, sure. Absolutely.

There's only one little thing wrong

with your idea.

- There ain't nothing to torpedo.

- Yes, there is.

- There's what?

- Something to torpedo.

- What's that?

- The Louisa.

The Louisa? Now, don't talk silly, miss.

You can't do that. Honest, you can't.

I told you before,

we can't get down the Ulanga.

- Spengler did.

- In a canoe, miss...

- lf a German did it, we can, too.

- Not in no launch.

How do you know? You never tried it.

I never tried shooting myself

in the head, neither.

The trouble with you, miss, is you...

You don't know anything about boats.

In other words,

you are refusing to help your country

in her hour of need, Mr. Allnut?

Well, I wouldn't put it that way.

Just how would you put it, Mr. Allnut?

All right, miss, have it your own way,

but don't blame me for what happens.

Very well, then. Let's get started.

- What, now, miss?

- Yes, now.

There ain't two hours

of daylight left, miss.

We can go a long way

in two hours, Mr. Allnut.

I'll have to get

the old kettle to boiling and...

Well, do so, Mr. Allnut.

"Could you make a torpedo?

"Well, do so, Mr. Allnut."

A little to starboard, miss. That's right.

Hey, you're doing fine, miss.

It's really quite easy, isn't it, Mr. Allnut?

- Well, you gotta learn to read the river.

- Read the river?

Yeah. You see that

long thing over there,

looks kind of like a "V"?

That means a snag.

Now, this choppy water over here,

that means shallow.

The Queen don't draw much water,

so we can go right over them.

Most boats would

get their bottoms tore up.

And when it's smooth and flat

like that over there,

- does that mean a rock, Mr. Allnut?

- Rock or hippo, miss.

But don't go bumping into no hippo.

Makes them awful mad.

This boat's only big enough

for the two of us.

- What was the matter, Mr. Allnut?

- Feed pump's full of scum and rust.

She gets clogged up.

Kicking her starts her to working again.

I gotta act fast, 'cause one of my boys

dropped a screwdriver

down the safety valve.

What would happen

if you didn't kick her?

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