The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse Page #5

And as for my coming here

with all this on me...

...at yours and the others' first sight

of it, I had the upper hand.

That is, psychologically speaking.

And that's all anyone can ask for.

- I like your style, professor.

- And I yours.

No reason why we couldn't join up,

professionally.

Of course, professionally.

No reason.

- Well, we sure gave a swell show.

- Yeah, but the house was empty.

For the kind of music we play,

give me an empty house every time.

- Why did I have to carry the biggest case?

- That's life, Rabbit. That's life.

Every time I look at this joint, I laugh.

The professor couldn't have picked

a better hideout.

Ah, it's the only place

the cops wouldn't get wise to.

After all, us guys really belong here,

don't we? We're honest in our own line.

Well, sure.

Oh, I see.

You boys made it all right, huh?

- Taking those tests again?

- Yes, as soon as I got here.

And the professor wants them

from all of you. You're next, Palsy.

What is this anyway? Every time we

pull a job, we gotta make these tests.

You let him start, didn't you?

You got only yourself to blame, dope.

- Well, what's it all for? Ah...

- Come on, get in there.

I don't mind those blood tests...

...but like the time

I got scared and lost my voice...

...I thought the professor would jump

down my throat looking for it.

If you don't like it,

tell him where to head in.

If the professor gets a kick out of it,

what's a couple of drops of blood?

Maybe it is only a couple of drops, but

every time I see that needle, I get woozy.

- Well, don't look at it.

- Come on, let's see the brass.

Turn on the noise.

- You're next, Okay.

- Looks like he gave you once-over light.

- Did it hurt any?

- Hurt? No, and he took almost a gallon.

- How much?

- Well, maybe a quart.

Hey, what is this? This is silver.

I said only gold, platinum.

- Who wants that junk?

- It's a genuine antique.

The finest workmanship.

Beautiful, valuable antique.

All right, bury the stuff.

Somebody might walk in.

You guys is getting more stupid

every day.

Now, just relax, Okay.

Clench your fist once or twice.

- Just keep it clenched.

- Okay, okay.

- Hurt?

- No.

- No more than a mosqui...

- Lost your voice again?

No, it didn't hurt no more

than a mosquito bite.

Well, that's splendid. Thank you.

- Oh, by the way, how is your voice?

- Okay, professor.

Hey, why is it every time I get excited

or scared, I lose my voice?

Paralysis of the larynx, caused by fear

or any extraordinary emotional tension.

- A very interesting phenomenon.

- Thanks, professor.

Oh, by the way, any time it recurs

I wanna be informed immediately.

Okay.

Hey.

Where did you learn about

all these things?

In school. In a university.

- Oh, a university?

- Yes.

- I got a brother in a university.

- Well, indeed?

Well, I must add that to your

case history. Which university?

Let me see,

what's the name of the joint? Harvard.

Harvard? Really?

What does your brother do there?

He's preserved in alcohol.

He's got two heads.

Oh, very well, Okay. Heh-heh.

Oh, uh, ask Rabbit to come in.

You're next, Rabbit.

Research.

- You know how I got him figured out?

He was a doctor and he did something

so they took his license.

- And he's still playing around.

- With the professor, us guys is a pastime.

That's the idea. He's screwy.

Yeah, but he's got plenty of brains

and nothing phases him.

All right, snap into it.

Turn off that machine.

Okay, Popus, open up.

- That's not the note.

- It is so. You're reading it upside down.

Hello, boys. Got all the hardware?

Certainly, Jo.

- Let's have a look at it.

- The professor here?

- Sure, he's here.

Sticking needles into these dimwits.

You're next, if you like.

Say, that's a sharp getup

you're wearing, Jo.

Certainly is, Jo.

Getting dressed up just for us boys

or for the professor?

- Cut it out, Rocks.

- Tug.

- All right.

- Oh, Tug? Uh, tell him I'm here.

- Why don't you try it, Jo?

- Shut up, Rocks.

After all,

that's one way to break him down.

Especially tonight.

Ritzy clothes, nice perfume.

Might forget himself and give you

a tumble, if you know what I mean.

We wouldn't butt in, would we, boys?

What's the matter, Jo?

What are you sore about?

Good evening.

Ah, Jo, I presume you want

to see the jewelry first.

- Yes, we can talk about the fur job later.

- It's all in here, professor.

- Is all this stuff okay?

- Perfect, Mademoiselle Jo.

- I'll give you the price we agreed on.

- Sold.

Oh, about our little job tonight,

you've approved the furs?

Yes, that reminds me, professor.

- I'd like to talk it over with you.

- By all means.

Oh, a huddle just for

the two of you, huh?

Yeah. Got any objections?

By all means. Would you like to have tea

served in the boudoir?

Rocks, may I remark that your jokes

are slightly unhumorous tonight?

Oh, you don't like them, huh?

Not particularly, old man.

Not particularly.

"Not particularly, old man.

Not particularly."

Shut up, you ape.

I'm on to something

as far as Rocks is concerned.

Yes?

Not only has he

a distorted sense of humor...

...but his entire personality is distorted.

- Whatever it is, I don't like it.

- Oh, but I do.

Rocks is a magnificent specimen of

pure viciousness. He's worth exploring.

Watch yourself while doing it or you'll

end up with an undertaker exploring you.

That may be sound advice.

Here's hoping

you're smart enough to take it.

Have you got everything

lined up for tonight?

Yes, all set. And you're getting rid

of the furs without delay, I trust.

When it comes to distribution,

don't worry.

I get paid cash on delivery and I'm ready

to pay out as soon as the job is done.

What if something should happen?

If we get caught

and fail to deliver the stuff to you?

Then I get another gang started

on another warehouse.

- I see. No sentiment. Just the routine.

- Like any other business.

But tell me, don't you ever feel

any pangs of conscience?

That what you're doing is wrong and

opposed to the best interests of society?

Wrong? Suppose you tell me something.

Would you ask that question of a stock

promoter who robs widows and orphans?

Or one of them society mugs who owns

a lot of firetrap tenement houses...

...where the rats and bugs eat you alive?

The kind of place I was born in?

No. The way I look at it, professor...

...me, you, all of us here,

are more on the level than those guys.

Jo, your logic is devastating.

- My humble apology.

- Oh, skip it.

What time are you pulling the job?

After midnight.

We start at 1 a.m. Promptly.

And, uh, what are you doing till then?

I've really got a great deal of work to do.

Why?

I just ask. I thought

maybe we might have dinner together.

Well, that's a splendid idea,

but it's impossible.

I've really got to break down all these

blood specimens. Some other time, I...

- Oh, Jo. I hope you're not offended.

- No, no, I'm not.

Say, didn't we have an appointment

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