The American Astronaut Page #4

A journey the boy don't know|nothing about...

on account of him being as dumb|as a stick.

How are you pianning on getting|him back to Earth?

We's kind of hoping you'd take him.

Let's see if we can get his chocoiate|and cigarettes.

If we take him to Earth, can we keep|his chocoiate and cigarettes?

We ain't got no need for it.

Okay.

I hope you don't mind if we take|ourtime ioading up.

We're trying to avoid someone.

That'ii give you boys some time to|get acquainted.

He's right through that doorthere.

Thanks.

If you ever find us again...

couid you teii us what the chart's|iooking iike these days...

Captain? Captain?

He stinks.

What?

He stinks.

Excuse me.

Weii.

Let's get him out of that stinky suit.

Smeii your hand.

What if we ieave him in the suit|and wash him as he is?

We shouid probabiy just wipe him|down with soivent.

Pin him.

Thls Is the Rlo Yetl. Okay?|And when i do this iine...

i'm going to taik and when i do the next iine|i'm going to move your mouth iike this. Okay?

South America is where i want to go.

Don't you fear Yeti's in Rio?

No. No? No.

Rio Yeti. Rio Yeti. Rio Yeti.|Rio Yeti.

When i get to Venus, can i get a|dog?

Dogs can't iive on Venus.

When they roii on their backs|the...

pressure twists their guts up and it|kiiis them.

Do you remember my oid dog?

Yeah.

If i don't iike Venus wiii you come|get me?

Beiieve me...

You'ii iike it.

What are you going to do?

South America is where i'm going|to go.

Don't you fearthe Yetis in Rio?

No.

No?

No! No, No, No, No, No, No,|No, No, No, No...

Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti...

No! No, No, No, No, No, No,|No, No, No.

Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti...

Uh oh. Did i say something i shouid|not have?

No.

No?

No! No, No, No, No, No, No,|No, No, No.

Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti, Ri-o Ye-ti...

What dld your fatherteach you?

My fathertaught me to kiii the|sunfiower.

now awake.

Ten mlnutes to Venus.

What the f***?

How many minutes?

You aii ready for your big day?

You take care of him.

I'ii be back in a bit.

What styie. What ciass.

The giri with the vagina made of giass.

So perfect and pure, and|gynecoiogicaiiy demure.

And the way her buttocks chews on|her shorts is very nice.

Oh, yes, it's very nice.

And the way her perfect bosoms need|no support...

Oh, yes, that too is very nice.

And wherever she may go aii heavens|surround her.

Envy's green-eyed monsters confound|her.

Age-oid myths and iegends come true.

Ancient prophecies aii come to pass.

Aii this and aii because of you...

the giri with the vagina made of giass.

Why, Samuei Curtis, you fiatter|me.

My dear Cioris, any beautifui words|spoken on your behaif wouid oniy...

Weii, if you were oniy twenty years|younger...

we'd aii have ourway with you.

Which brings me to another subject.

Not that i couid evertire of speaking|on your behaif...

but i wouid iike to proposition you.

You have my attentions.

Piease don't think that my compiete|focus is not on you and the iadies...

but in my peripherai...

i couidn't heip but notice the handsome|remains of a gentieman.

Johnny R.

We stiii iove him so. Honest we do.

But it just hasn't been the same since|his Venusian demise.

Yeah, i imagine it wouidn't be.

You know, his famiiy wouid iike|his body back.

We are aii weii aware of that,|Samuei Curtis.

We are aiso aware of the honorarium|they have offered...

and the greedy, heartiess show of|scavengery we might expect...

as a resuit of their generous offer.

We might aiso have expected that you,|Samuei Curtis...

couid have been a iittie more sensitive|to our feeiings...

instead of being the first to come and|try to take away ourJohnny.

I was actuaiiy going to swap you|for him.

What couid you have that wouid|possibiy match the vaiue...

of our beioved Johnny's remains?

I've got a sixteen year oid boy in|my ship.

Oh, Samuei.

I swear, we had no way of knowing.

How couid you know?

Your messenger never mentioned a|swap.

He just said that you were coming.|- My messenger? -

Hi, Sam.

Jesus Christ!

That's Professor Hess.

A Professor?!

Did you miss me?

No.

Yes you did. You did too miss me.|You're just saying that to make me mad.

The Professor brought us a cat.

Cioris...

i'm afraid i won't be abie to stay.

Have your iadies dig my ship out of|the mud...

and ioad Johnny into the bottom|cargo hatch.

Why, a visit from Mr. Curtis wouidn't be the same|if we didn't have to dig his ship out of our mud.

Oh, Samuei.

The Professor suggests that we shouid|meet the boy first.

I'ii go get him.

But if we couid just make this fast.

Of course. And Samuei?

He is descended from great weaith,|is he not?

Yeah.

And piease teii me he is a good dancer.

The iadies do iove to dance.

Yeah, he's great.

I'ii have him bring his trophy.

Move!

I keep trying to get ready and he|keeps jumping in front of the mirror...

piaying with his face.

You're not going out there.

What?!

Shut up. Professor Hess is here. If|he sees you he's going to kiii you.

Why's he want to kiii me?

No reason.

Let's fiy out of here.

There not going to dig out our ship|untii they get a boy.

Him.

Yeah.

That's what i'm thinking.

Put on some of my ciothes and|give him yours.

Why does he have to wear my ciothes?

He doesn't have to...

he gets to.

Ladies...

here's your new iover boy.

Weii, isn't he fancy.

Who the heii is that?

That's the new King of Venus.

That is not Lee Viiensky's boy.

Weii, Samuei, piease expiain.

Who is this fancifui dandy who|has so quickiy stoien our hearts?

What!?

That's the weaithiest chiid in the|Soiar System.

He is not.

Yes he is.

No he isn't.

Yes, he is.

Oh.

He seems to be in need of a bath.

I haven't noticed.

Smeii your hand.

I wiii kiii him.

You have every reason to kiii him.

Good iuck, Professor.

Samuei Curtis!

It's my birthday.

Some othertime, Professor.

This is where it ends...

and other stories began.

Sam moved back to earth with the|young man who saw the breast...

and raised him as if he were his|own son.

I stayed on Venus to heip raise|Bodysuit...

in the hopes that he wouid grow up|to be a fine young man...

and i couid kiii him.

But a boy seidom iives up to his|Father's expectations.

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