The Awful Truth

Come on, get that sun lamp ready.

About 15 minutes is the most l`d advise,

Mr. Warriner.

Fifteen minutes nothing! I need

a deep Florida tan if it takes all afternoon.

Give her the gun.

All aboard for Miami,

Palm Beach and Point South.

-Hi, Jerry.

-Hello, Frank.

-How goes it?

-Fine!

-Like to play a little squash?

-No, thanks.

You`re awfully white-skinned

for a guy who spent two weeks in Florida.

-That`s what I thought.

-What did you do there, carry a parasol?

-Or didn`t you go?

-Don`t go spreading that around, Frank.

Pulling a fast one on the little wife?

Frank, l`m surprised at you.

I`m supposed to have been in Florida.

Supposing one of Lucy`s friends

says to her:
.

``Well, why isn`t he tanned?``

Lucy will be embarrassed.

I`ll be tanned,

and Lucy won`t be embarrassed.

What wives don`t know won`t hurt them.

What you don`t know won`t hurt you.

I don`t want to know.

How about coming by the house?

Some friends are coming by

for a late breakfast.

I got a better idea. Come to my place

for eggnogs and breakfast...

and maybe later we can duck the women

and play some golf.

-Swell, boy, you got me convinced.

-Okay.

-See you later, Jerry.

-So long, Frank.

Come on in!

Hey, Lucy!

That man is here.

Maybe she wasn`t expecting you.

No, she`s around somewhere.

Put your things down anywhere.

-Hello, Celeste.

-Hello, Mr. Warriner, you look well.

Thank you, Celeste, and vice versa.

Where`s Mrs. Warriner? Look what I got her

all the way from Florida.

-She`s out.

-She`s out?

Never mind. Go get some eggnogs,

and we`ll find something to drink to.

Come on, gang, enter.

Mr. Smith, look who`s here.

Come on, boy.

Where`s Mamma?

Look, l`ve got something for you.

Come on, get it.

What are you doing, reading my mail?

Several letters there for your wife.

Yesterday`s, too.

I hope Lucy comes back

looking as well as you do.

She`s probably up at her Aunt Patsy`s.

She always goes there when she`s lonely.

Thank you, Celeste, l`ll take it up from here.

-Jerry.

-What?

Supposing Aunt Patsy wasn`t home?

I get it. I`m up to my neck in funny people!

Seriously, I wish Lucy would go out and

get some fun now and again. Do her good.

That`s the trouble with marriages today.

People are always imagining things.

The road to Reno is paved with suspicions.

First thing you know,

they`re in a divorce court.

The broad-minded man from the Rio Grande!

If you think l`ll get a chance to prove my

broad-mindedness any minute, you`re crazy.

Lucy`s up at her Aunt Patsy`s cabin.

I`ll bet on it.

Incidentally, what a swell spot that is.

Good fishing....

Sometimes, on a clear day across that lake,

you can see for....

Mrs. Barnsley, Miss Heath,

Mr. Barnsley, Mr. Randall.

Aunt Patsy.

Any idea where Lucy is?

You know, she invited me to this--

-Darling!

-Hello, dear!

How grand and brown you are!

Hello, Patsy, dear.

-Did you miss me? Been thinking about me?

-Look what I brought you!

All the way from Florida? Bless your heart!

You know Armand Duvalle, dear.

Come on in, Armand.

Mr. Duvalle, this is my aunt, Miss Adams.

Mr. and Mrs. Barnsley,

Miss Heath and Mr. Randall.

We`ve had the most terrible time.

Armand`s car broke down last night

miles from nowhere...

and we had to stay at the nastiest inn ever.

No modern conveniences. It was dreadful!

We were coming home from the junior prom.

Armand`s pupil invited us.

Oh, it`s a long story, but I must....

Hello, there!

Your wife, she was the loveliest woman

in the party.

Armand, you always say the nicest things.

Isn`t that cute? Did you bring him that?

-Yes--

-Go catch it!

-Were you disappointed I wasn`t here?

-Not at all. After all, you didn`t expect me.

And you`ll forgive me

for my car`s imperfect performance?

Of course.

I`m sorry the inn was so inconvenient.

That`s the only thing that bothers me.

You know, your husband

is not like the average American man.

He`s free of all mean suspicion.

He has more the Continental mind. Yes?

That`s right, I have a Continental mind.

Will you have an eggnog?

Thank you.

I don`t know what kind of a mind Jerry`s got,

Continental or cockeyed...

but he`s a wonder.

Now, if I stayed out all night...

and waltzed in with handsome Mr. Duvalle,

and said the car broke down....

It did. Why should Jerry be angry?

I didn`t build the car.

-You`re perfectly right, dear.

-Of course I am.

Can`t have a happy married life

if you`re always suspicious.

Right again.

-A little nutmeg?

-Please.

-Why am I boring you with private matters?

-We`re not bored.

No one`s interested in my adventure

but Jerry, who knows it`s innocent...

just as well as he knows

that he just got back from Florida.

I see what you mean.

More drinks, everybody? There`s lots left.

-No, thank you, I think we better be going.

-You don`t all have to go, do you?

Go? No.

-Well, it`s silly to go so soon.

-We must go, really.

Patsy, dear, where are you going?

I haven`t even had a chance to talk to you.

I`ll see you later, my dear.

I always say four`s a crowd.

There`s something in what she says.

Thank you.

-Say, are you hungry?

-To tell you the truth, l`m starved.

Why don`t you go out and grab a bite?

-A strong fellow should take care of himself.

-Why, what have I done?

-lf you speak of last night, I assure you--

-You don`t believe--

We`ll discuss it in private.

That is if Mr. Duvalle can remember

where we keep our door.

In all fairness, you should permit me

to remain and explain ourselves.

American women

aren`t accustomed to gallantry.

I appreciate your offer,

but maybe you`d better go.

Pardon me, Mrs. Warriner,

you misunderstand.

I am a voice teacher, am I not?

For one year she has been my pupil.

And from time to time, I pat her on the back.

I mean, I congratulate her on her...

-development.

-ls that so?

-Do I express myself?

-You`ve been doing all right.

But now my position must be considered.

I have never yet been in a scandal.

-Never been caught?

-No.

I am a great teacher, not a great lover.

That`s right, Armand, no one could ever

accuse you of being a great lover.

That is, I mean to say,

who`s to say whether you are or not?

It`s all so silly!

But maybe you had better go.

-I really don`t know what to say.

-lf you go, you won`t have to say anything.

-Perhaps it is best this way, Mrs. Warriner.

-I think so.

-I will see you soon?

-Yes.

It has been all so perfect.

Thank you for everything.

Take another bow.

Not a bad performance

considering no rehearsals or anything.

Why, Mr. Warriner,

you`re out of your Continental mind.

That was funny, what he said

about your Continental mind.

-No doubt he has a better sense of humor.

-No, I beg to differ.

Right now you`re twice as funny as him.

-Quit stalling, Lucy.

-l`m not--

Perhaps our marriage means nothing to you.

Perhaps you have no sentiment left for me.

Look at this.

Look, a letter I wrote you.

Did you care when you read it? No!

You knew there`d be a letter

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