The Bachelors

- Dad?

- I can't stay here anymore.

I don't want

to give you away

I was hoping that you

would stay you would stay

- So who's Paul?

- He's the Headmaster.

- What kind of school is it?

- Private.

- How do you know him?

- College.

He dated your mom before I did.

After he forgave us we

became very good friends.

I want to know

How to move on

You were covered with

Black and gray

Waiting for your

chance to run away

Run away run away

Left all alone

I wanna know

I wanna know

I wanna know

- You know, I gotta

tell you, it's about

the fastest deal I've

ever done in my life.

You know, with a

house, most people

want to look every which way

up and down, round and round.

Not you guys, huh?

You come you look, you

like it you take it.

Super fast, huh?

- How long you been up?

- Awhile.

Yeah Paul dropped off

the box of clothes

from the lost and found, I guess

just until we can get

you some new ones.

- Do I wear a uniform?

- It's a fancy place.

- Please don't tell

me this is all boys.

- Okay Wes,

we got books check,

schedule check,

unacceptable shoes check.

- We'll go shopping

right after school.

- Great.

So, you pick a sport yet?

- Yeah, I'm not really

a big sports guy.

- Well, I'm afraid

it's mandatory.

This time of year

your choices are

football, fencing

and cross country.

- Okay, thanks,

Mr. Abernac.

- Good luck, soldier.

- I don't know how to

thank you for this, Paul.

- No need.

How you holding up?

- Fine.

- Well hopefully a fresh start

will do you both some good.

- I'm sure it will.

- Yes, yes, the first

day hork, gotta love it.

- Alright, alright I'm seeing.

I'm seeing some taquitos,

some zucchini...

You really like

zucchini, huh, new kid?

- I see some jello there.

- That's enough forensic

analysis, gentleman.

- Gotta respect the first

day hork.

- Welcome to cross country.

- How was cross country?

- Oh it was, whatever.

Won't this kind of

remind you of mom?

- It's not that I don't

want to be reminded.

I just want to have

some control over it.

I want you to have the car.

- What do you mean?

- Kid your age aught to

have your own set of wheels.

- How are you gonna get around?

- Previous tenant just

left it behind I guess.

- You know Dad,

I've never seen you

ride a bike in my entire life.

- Well I assure I am

perfectly capable of it.

- See you there.

- Ass hat!

- Sorry.

- God.

- Aw man, you got

Aminheimer for trig?

Better get some nose plugs, guy

smells like a dying warthog.

- Hey Mason, here

comes the circus.

- You know I always expect like

12 midgets to get

out of that thing.

- There's one.

- Hey Goober, when do

the elephants get here?

- Aw man, my

favorite time of day.

Behold the muff truck.

- How come we don't get to

take classes at their school?

- Because we'd never come back.

Good morning. ladies.

- Hey Mason.

- Hey Kim.

- Hey yourself.

- What's up Missy?

- Hey Tommy.

- Hey Lacey.

Shut up.

- And the area of this circle

of course is Pi R squared.

And then multiply by

the height to give us

the volume of the

cylinder right?

Any questions? Yes?

- What's with the belt?

- That's just something I do.

- Freak.

- And it looks like

we're out of time.

You have the

homework and it's on

the website if

you need to check.

- So how goes it so far?

- Great, seem like nice boys.

- They're not.

They're spoiled little snots

who won't have to work

a day in their lives

unless daddy runs off

with the secretary and takes

all the money with him.

Just kidding, of course.

Bill, I don't want to

overstep my bounds but

have you had the chance to

talk to anybody about Jeanie?

- I mean,

you know once in a while

call my brother or--

- I mean a professional,

'cause I happen to know a guy.

Got a flawless reputation,

well respected.

Our health plan will

cover everything

so it won't cost you a dime.

- I don't know.

- Okay look, this

really isn't about you.

You see as long as I

keep up the appearance

of caring about my

staff it maintains

my carefully crafted

image of being a good guy.

- Got it, that makes sense.

- Yeah I knew

you'd understand so

good idea, terrible idea?

- I guess probably a good idea.

- I couldn't help

but notice that those

who didn't do well on the test

are also behind

on their homework.

So if you want to

improve your grade please

I would suggest you pay

attention to your assignments.

Make sense, right? Thank you.

I thought you would agree.

You know I like to think

that I'm a good teacher.

But two students

working together

can sometimes be quite helpful.

How would you like to be Miss

Westmans's homework partner?

- Yeah sure.

- Lacy?

- Yeah.

- Thank you, you can go now.

- Okay so what's up with

that Lacy Westman girl?

- The Princess of Darkness.

- You mean my future wife?

- Dude she would have sex with

you and then eat your head.

- She going out with anybody?

- Yeah Mason.

- They are not going out.

- Oh really well what

would you call it?

- Using her whenever

he feels like it.

- Mrs. Oselle asked me to

be her homework partner.

- Shut up.

- Dude why the hell doesn't

stuff like that happen to me?

- Because you're nasty

and objectionable at

almost every level.

Oh man, we gotta catch up.

You're not gonna

mind if we smoke you?

- Go for it.

- Sucks when the little

guy beats you, doesn't it?

- Good luck with Lacy.

- Hi, I'm Lacy's

homework partner.

- Mom, I got it.

- You didn't say anything

about a homework partner.

- Mom, I have

a homework partner.

Come on.

- You ride horses?

- Look we don't

have to make cordial

chit chat or become

besties okay.

The only reason

I'm doing this is

she said she'd give

me extra credit,

which I need, because if I fail

then I'd have to do

Junior year over again

and I'd rather put my

head in a wood chipper.

- Okay.

- You can use that chair.

I'm sure you've

heard I'm a kind of

freak, slut, basket

case, but I'm afraid

any hope you had of us

having wild gymnastic sex

are destined to be frustrated.

- Gotcha.

- My friends used to

call the version of me

before I met Jeanie

PJ for pre-Jeanie and

the person I became after we

met was AJ for after Jeanie.

Apparently PJ was this

kind of lifeless lump

and AJ was a great, fun guy.

- How long was it between

her diagnoses and death?

- 61 days.

- I'm sorry.

So Bill, neurons, neurons that

fire together wire together.

So when we're happy the

neurons in our brain

align in way that

tends to sustain

that feeling of well being.

The same idea also

applies to depression.

Like what you'd expect

during a period of grief.

Now grief is completely

normal of course.

But a year or more outside

of a grief inducing vent,

I like to see my patients in

more of an emergent posture.

The good news is that

we have a battery

of medications available to us

to help kick start you

in the right direction.

I'd like to write

you a prescription

for something called Lexapro.

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