The Banger Sisters Page #4

back in those days.

I had a Dodge Duster.

Every Friday night,

I'd eat at Joe Allen's.

God, it was fabulous.

You mean, you drove?

Gold Dodge Duster

with white vinyl seats.

Did you have a girlfriend?

Yeah.

What happened?

Everything fell to pieces...

just the way

he said it would.

Well, come on.

You're giving the old man...

too much credit.

You're not

selling furniture.

Is he still doing that?

No.

He's...

He's at some place...

called Horizon Hills.

It's a retirement community.

Don't move.

You can do

whatever you want...

but you're not allowed

to think.

You're thinking, Harry.

I'm terrified.

Shut up.

OK.

Good morning...

Mrs. Plummer.

Hey, you've got 2 things

going for you.

One is that

I'm in a good mood...

and two is that you're cute.

Oh, Suzette.

I came to apologize

in person.

I completely forgot

about Ginger.

She's taking

her driver's test today.

- Ginger?

- My 16-year-old.

I can't tell you

how important this is.

I have to cancel lunch.

I apologize.

This is for you.

Are you trying

to weasel out of this?

No! This is one...

of those rites

of passage moments.

I have to be there.

Well, I'll go with you.

Oh.

Mom, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Who's that?

Suzette, my friend.

Your friend?

All right.

Just get in the car.

I'll be there in a minute.

No, you're not ditching me.

You made a date...

and I got all dressed up.

OK. I just have

to get organized.

Excuse me. Hi.

Would you please...

take this up to room 1007?

And don't water it.

It doesn't need watering.

They've already

been watered...

so you don't have

to water them.

Come on. Let's go.

Don't water them. Please.

OK. In case you'd noticed...

there's one other thing.

You probably won't.

But Ginger has

just a little habit of...

She makes a little noise

in the back...

of her throat sometimes...

and the specialists

say it's nothing.

It's probably

going to dissolve...

in a matter of time,

and then...

- Great.

- Yeah.

But our policy is just to...

It's just... We're

going to ignore it.

Take a breath, Gin.

I wanted a tattoo, Mom,

but you said I couldn't.

Just stay

in your lane, honey.

Is her tongue pierced?

Sweetheart,

it's not nice to talk...

about people

in front of them...

as if they're not there.

I know someone

who had her labia pierced.

All right, concentrate

on your driving, Gin.

And I better not

get the guy Jennifer got.

He failed her for talking.

All right. Well, don't

talk, then. Just drive.

That's the way

accidents happen.

From talking?

I don't think so, Mom.

Stay in your lane.

What lane are you referring to?

The lane that you're in!

Well, if I'm in it,

then what's the problem?

Will you look where

you're driving?!

It's always been

much harder with Ginger...

than with Hannah,

because Hannah tends...

to be solution-oriented,

whereas Ginger...

Well, she's artistic,

which is, of course...

what I love about her

and always want...

to encourage,

but she does tend to be defiant.

You didn't name her

after Ginger Baker...

- did you?

- No.

I was pregnant

and craving ginger...

so I ate it every day.

Oh. Way better.

Gosh. What time is it?

I don't know.

Course you don't.

Oh, gosh, I hope

she passes this thing.

It's going to be so good...

for her self-esteem.

You know that guy Harry...

the guy you met?

He doesn't drive.

He might now, though...

'cause we had sex last night.

First time in 10 years

for that guy.

I kind of liked it,

though, you know?

I felt like I was

accomplishing something.

Boy, when he came,

it was like somebody...

in an electric chair.

I thought you were

in a relationship...

the two of you.

No, no.

I just picked him up...

like, somewhere in Blythe...

and he's not

a bad rattle, though.

There's hope for Harry.

Hope for Harry.

I hate this place.

I know.

Can you imagine working here?

Ha ha!

Oh, no color.

I'd go crazy.

I got to have color around me...

or I go nuts. I hate drab.

You just looked

right at my dress...

when you said that.

I did not.

Oh, you did.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

I would kill to have, uh...

- Yeah.

- I would.

Sure, Suzette.

It's almost the same color...

as the... walls.

Oh, come on. No, it isn't.

Yes, it is.

I'm the same color...

as the department

of motor vehicles...

and you... look like a flower.

Why are you so pissed off?

I'm not!

I'm complimenting you.

I mean, all the guys here

are staring at you.

That's the idea, isn't it?

What idea?

Well, I mean,

if you put yourself together...

the way that you've

put yourself together...

that's... obviously,

you're trying...

to get attention.

I don't look any different.

Oh, please.

You used to be

much smaller-chested.

You mean,

my tits are bothering you.

Oh, come on.

This machine is bothering me...

because it's not functioning.

You know what? I think

you're, like, ticked off...

because you had

the big knockers...

back in the day.

- Well, please.

- No, yeah.

It's true. Come on, babe.

And you know what?

You used to, like...

you know, flash them...

and they were famous,

those tits...

and I was flat as a pancake.

So I made, you know,

bigger... ones.

So...

but if it makes you

feel any better...

I don't feel bad.

I don't need...

to feel better.

They're too big,

and, you know...

I overdid it.

Well, I wasn't going

to say anything...

but they're too big.

Yeah, I went from, like,

one extreme to the other.

Aah!

Mom, he failed me

for no reason!

Gin, what happened?

Nothing! I just drove

like a normal person.

But he decided

to persecute me.

It says that you

ran a red light.

Yeah, right!

As if I'd do that on a test!

Oh! And I told everybody...

I was taking this stupid thing!

I promised Jennifer...

I would drive her

to the Pickle Pan!

You know what? I can...

I'm going to

take her home right now.

She just treated you

like sh*t.

Well, she's distraught!

I'll drop you at the hotel.

No, wait a minute.

This is not...

This is, like, a big deal...

We're not even

getting along.

Suzette, come on.

We were going

to have lunch.

Somebody left Barkley out.

Barkley!

Barkley!

Barkley, come here.

Barkley! Gin.

Ginger, get Barkley in.

I can't, Mom.

I'm too depressed.

Hey. Get the dog.

Come on, Barkley,

you stupid moron.

Hannah!

You left the gate open!

The dog got out!

Hannah,

turn the music off!

Oh, Hannah.

Yeah, Hannah.

Hannah?!

Hannah!

Break it up. Come on.

Break it up!

Aah!

Mom!

Come on, Hannah.

Get out of the pool.

Jules, oh!

Get out of that pool!

Hannah, stop it!

Nothing was going on,

I swear to you.

Oh, right!

I'm almost 18!

I don't care

how old you are, Hannah.

You are still living

in my house.

You are driving a car

that we paid for.

We have paid

for your college education.

As long as that is true...

you will abide

by our rules!

Do you understand?

Now, you get out of there!

Get dressed!

Turn the music off!

And you're not

helping matters.

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