The Banger Sisters Page #5

What did I do?

Well, you're just

so permissive-looking...

standing there...

the way you stand.

But you said I looked

like a flower.

Mom! I just

stepped on a snail!

There are no snails

on this property, Gin.

What's this crunchy thing

I just, like, killed?

Jules!

I have known you...

since you've been

in preschool, young man.

This is so not the norm...

of how I behave,

Mrs. Kingsley.

Hannah, of all people.

You don't think that maybe...

they were just

skinny-dipping, do you?

No. They were going at it.

In the pool...

where we, as a family, swim?

- Yep.

- Oh! God.

You don't think maybe

they just could've been...

rubbing up

against each other?

No, they were f***ing.

Oh, my God.

Hannah's the valedictorian...

and that boy Jules...

He got a national award

for community service.

He's a little weasel,

if you ask me.

Why do you say that?

He just is. I can tell.

You know,

I can smell it. Hey!

I don't know what

I'm supposed to do now.

Do you think

I'm supposed to call...

his parents and tell them?

You're asking me?

Why are you wasting

all those lemons?

Lemons eliminate odor, Suzette.

Oh, my God.

You are so freaked out about this.

Yes, I am.

School's out,

and they're seniors...

and they came back,

and they had a few beers...

and they got naked

in the pool.

I mean,

they're just having fun.

They are kids!

I want to show you something.

- Come here.

- What?

Refresh your memory.

Look at this.

Those aren't kids?

Oh, my God.

Remember we sat up there

over Sunset Boulevard...

waiting for the sun to come up?

Until the cops

made us get down.

Mmm. Sunrise over Sunset.

Just get to the point.

Well, it was your idea

to climb up there...

in the first place.

Do you know why?

- No.

- Exactly.

We just did stuff.

We just did sh*t...

for no reason, Vin.

My God. That's Raymond.

My husband.

What are you going

to do with me?

Am I going to hide

in the closet?

No, no.

He knows about you.

I've just been a little sketchy,

that's all.

Like how sketchy?

I said we went

to college together.

I went to college?

Yeah.

I'm a really bad liar, Vinnie.

OK. Then just tell

the minimum amount of truth.

Hi, honey.

Hi. Hi.

Whoa! Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, this is Suzette.

Suzette?

We were roommates

in Los Angeles.

Oh, Suzette. Yes,

of course. Of course.

Suzette. Suzette.

Hi. You went to UCLA?

I saw Country Joe

and the Fish there.

Oh. Ha ha ha!

Yeah. So, uh,

stay for dinner, Suzette.

Lavinia and I would love

to have you for dinner.

Please. Stay for dinner.

- Sure.

- OK.

Cool.

Groovy.

I'm staying for dinner.

Yeah.

Is Mom's friend for real?

I don't know.

I don't care.

Get out of my room, OK?

All you ever do is eat...

and you're so skinny.

What's your problem?

Mom caught me in the pool...

with Jules.

So?

We weren't swimming.

Eww.

Your own mother?

Shut up.

It was horrible.

She stood there

and made us...

get out of the pool.

It was so embarrassing.

It's the worst thing...

that's ever happened to me.

I failed my driving test.

You're allowed to fail.

I'm not.

I don't even know

what it feels like.

Look at me.

Look. Look at this.

I'm on every single page

of this yearbook.

Ugh!

And tomorrow,

I'm expected...

to get up in front

of the entire school...

and say something profound...

so that all the grads

will run off...

into the future...

and live happily ever after...

Such a lie.

I wish I could just

get up there and fart.

Ha!

Why don't you?

Yeah, right.

All my teachers,

the head of school...

Dad, Mom...

especially Mom...

Can you imagine her reaction?

Well, at least

it wouldn't be boring.

"Success is going

from failure to failure...

without loss

of enthusiasm."

Winston Churchill.

But what if the person

testing you...

has such bad body odor,

you can't even concentrate?

Red light means stop, Ginger.

New topic. Hannah...

how's your speech coming?

I'm thinking of

doing something unconventional.

Well,

that's always a good idea.

If it were always

a good idea...

it wouldn't be

unconventional.

You're going to do fine.

You look great.

You have a lot of color...

in your face.

Have you been out

in the sun today?

Yeah, Hannah.

Ginger, Ginger.

Relax your throat

when you're eating.

Yeah, Ginger.

Suzette?

Mm-hmm?

You knew my wife

before I did...

Actually,

before all of us did.

Has she changed

over all these years?

I see the same person.

What do the two of you

have in common?

What do we have in common, Vin?

We, uh, went to

the occasional concert.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hmm.

What kind of concerts?

Rock.

It had to be

really rock, though.

Didn't it, babe?

Babe?

We had very high standards.

Wait. Like, bands?

Ha ha!

Mom in a mosh pit?

Standing there

holding her purse.

With her hair all perfect.

"Come on, everyone. Let's go.

It's getting late."

This is

a little difficult...

to picture, Lavinia.

Vinnie... Vin.

Yeah, babe.

She danced.

That's what she did.

She danced.

Our mother?

Our mom's a really,

really, really bad dancer.

That was what was

so really, really...

really genius about it.

You didn't care

what anybody thought...

did you, babe?

Lavinia?

Lavinia?

Anybody know what

Suzette's tattoo stands for?

Hmm?

Don't say anything, Suzette.

It's a lizard with a crown

on its head. Anybody?

Hmm?

I have no idea.

Jim Morrison.

"I am the Lizard King."

He also called himself

"Mr. Mojo Risin"'...

which were the letters

of his name...

scrambled up.

He wrote it in Mexico...

having been up all night...

after climbing

the pyramid of the sun.

Mom, you're being weird.

Yeah. You're acting...

like a whole different person.

You are acting

a little strange, Lavinia.

Oh, you have no idea

how strange I can be.

What the hell was that?

Chicken breast.

Suzette?

I'm trapped out here

in the suburbs, Harry.

I'm getting to see

how the other half live.

I don't know.

It's really weird.

It's complicated

having all your sh*t together.

You've made progress

since yesterday.

Yesterday, she didn't

even want to see you.

That's great.

It's terrific.

I don't know.

What are you doing?

You sound speedy.

I'm writing like a fiend.

Yeah?

What are you writing?

I don't know. Everything.

Words, thoughts, images.

It's all just kind of

exploding out of me.

I feel so ebullient.

Ebullient?

You just got off, Harry.

That's all.

It's more than that,

Suzette.

It's... It's...

I think you're my muse.

Uh, Harry, wait a minute.

I'm just a chick you

met in the desert, OK?

Yes, exactly. And if I...

I... I wouldn't have met

you in the desert...

if I hadn't screwed up

my life so beautifully.

Where are you

going with this?

If I had done

one thing different...

if one little thing had

worked out and gone right...

my whole life would have gone

in some other direction.

Instead, everything went wrong

and led me to you.

Hey, you're way

ahead of yourself.

Then I shouldn't

feel something for you?

No, no. You can feel

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