The Barbarian Invasions Page #6

So we could sleep together

without our families hassling us.

l want a wedding on the Loire.

Six months later,

l cheated on her.

- That was fast.

- lndeed.

Thanks.

When l met Sbastien, l said,

"With him it's forever,

there'll be no one else."

l hope it lasts, for your sake.

Because, you know, love...

No, no, no!

Not love.

Mom and dad talked like that. Love.

l love you. l love you too much.

l don't love you.

You can't build a life

on pop-song philosophy.

Love Me Tender.

Love, Love Me Not.

lt's ridiculous.

My parents divorced when l was three.

For several years,

Dad continued to come over

for Sunday lunch.

Half an hour before he left,

l'd vanish.

l'd be lying on the ground

in front of his car

so he couldn't leave.

My kids won't go through that.

So now my nocturnal pleasures

are provided

by my giant-screen Toshiba

at the foot of my bed.

- No more curled-up toes?

- That's over.

l've seen enough ceilings.

- Forever?

l've closed the store,

laid down my arms,

hung up my skates.

Things are much quieter

between us too.

Well, well.

He's in Bologna all week

and l'm in Rome.

There's the weekend, but...

My wife falls asleep in bed

with the kids.

Great, you can reread Tocqueville.

That's what l did.

He's increasingly cultivated,

and his prostate increasingly swollen.

Sorry, l still enjoy it a lot.

ln the country there's an old cowboy l...

Cowboy? You're with a cowboy now?

Yes, there's an old cowboy

l invite over to shake my bush.

To shake your bush!

Yes, but we had a fight.

l'll never understand men.

All my life l dated cads

who thought only of escaping

after satisfying their base needs.

The other day, as a compliment,

l said to my cowboy,

"To think we can still have

sexual flings at our age."

He was incensed.

He doesn't want to be a sex object,

talks about his masculinity.

- We love that!

- lnvokes father hunger,

goes on about exploring

his feminine side, his inner me.

lt was unbearable.

The last thing l want is

a limp-dicked sentimentalist.

l want to be screwed forcefully.

That's all.

l'm sensitive and smart enough for two.

A rub-down?

Would he like a rub-down?

Does the Muslim need

to bow towards Mecca?

Does the Carmelite

long for the Holy Species?

ls this your first time here?

l don't know

if you believe in random acts

of kindness,

but if you do,

render this sick man happy.

Give him the mother of all rub-downs.

You will be repaid a hundredfold,

in this life or another.

Am l in heaven already?

Are you my Valkyrie, my houri?

Joy!

Hello?

Nathalie didn't show.

lt's bad.

Your father's in withdrawal.

l called, no answer.

Know where Nathalie is?

No idea.

She's disappeared.

l warned you.

l may come back.

Before 1 1 .

l'm not supposed to do this.

You were right.

You said not to trust you.

Your dealer said that, too.

Wake up. We've a contract.

- What contract?

l buy dope, you look after dad.

- What's with him?

- He's waiting.

We're coming.

You honour a contract!

That's heavy, man.

lt's not heavy. We had a deal.

l'm counting on you.

At the market... my dad...

Y'know, my dad...

Want to trade dads?

Me, l made my life.

l prefer my life to yours.

Perfect young man.

Perfect career.

Perfect fiance.

l'm imperfect.

lt's sad. lt's very sad.

Where have you been?

l didn't know what to do.

- Get a spoon.

- What?

A spoon.

Thirty.

Fill it to thirty.

l can't manage.

What is that?

Don't ask, we don't have time.

You have to help. l beg you.

Give him this.

He needs it.

Please, l'll explain later.

- What's in it?

- Heroin.

l beg you.

- Shut the door, at least.

- l'm going.

- Just this once.

- lt'll soon be over.

Better?

We sat on your pier.

He was never happier

than at the lake.

So could we borrow the cottage?

Of course, l'll get the key.

Thank you.

What is it?

The keys to the cottage.

What for?

l'm letting Sbastien use it.

He wants to take Rmy.

Without asking me?

l'm truly sorry.

l'm the one who decorated it.

That's true.

The hours at lkea, don't they count?

Or the curtains l sewed?

You lend our house to strangers

without asking!

Rmy's not a stranger.

That's why Nicole

divorced Tom Cruise!

He'd lend their Colorado home

to anybody.

l'm lending my house

to my friend Rmy,

and you shut up.

lf that's how it is,

l won't stay another second.

l'm taking the girls and moving out.

l'm sorry. Forget it, we'll manage.

No way.

Use it whenever you like.

Don't worry. lt's always this way.

That's life.

Thanks.

No news from Sylvaine?

No, l even called

the boat's owner in Chile.

l hope she's okay.

She is, it's just the Net uplink.

The Pacific's big.

Embrace the mystery.

Embrace the mystery

and you'll be saved.

Say you love him.

Tell him,

and touch him.

Touch him!

What's this?

Checking out without authorization?

Don't try bringing him back

when he gets worse!

Savage!

Would you really

have beaten her up?

l dunno.

l never could've beat a woman.

Too bad; some did deserve it.

Don't you start again.

Some women need a firm hand.

For instance, you, Sister--

- Ah!

Get him out of here, for God's sake!

Get rid of him!

What are you waiting for?!

What, are you paid by the hour?

Drink this one.

Right now?

Here. Methadone's serious.

Now l trust you.

Drink one a day.

Only one. No more, no less.

Come back on Monday.

lf you screw up,

you're out of the program.

l still can't come to terms with it.

You know you have to.

l can't accept it.

That's how it is. lt's the law.

The very instant you shut your eyes,

millions more will also die.

But l won't be here anymore.

Me.

l'll be gone for good.

lf at least l'd learned something.

l feel as helpless

as the day l was born.

l haven't found a meaning. lt's...

l have to search.

l have to keep searching...

We've been everything.

Separatists, supporters

of independantists, sovereignists,

"sovereignty-associationists".

At first we were existentialists.

We read Sartre and Camus.

Then Fanon,

we became anti-colonialists.

We read Marcuse and became Marxists.

Marxist-Leninists.

- Trotskyists.

- Maoists.

After Solzhenitsyn we changed.

We were structuralists.

Situationists.

Feminists.

Deconstructionists.

ls there an "ism"

we haven't worshipped?

Cretinism.

God, no. Think of Guo Jing.

Who was Guo Jing?

An archeologist with a skirt

slit to the crotch.

Even you remember.

ln the '70s,

China opens up to the West.

She comes

on a cultural exchange.

The university sends

its trusty radical, me...

l enter the dining room

of her hotel.

l spot her, and die.

Beauty that could melt Emperor Qin's

l order tea, we make small talk.

l can see us doing the Pekinese lotus.

The Szechuan dragon.

To make myself

appear interesting,

l dive in, "Your country

has achieved so much.

"We're so envious.

Your Cultural Revolution

is wonderful!"

Her lovely black eyes glaze over.

l'm mortified to realize

that she's thinking,

"He's either a ClA agent

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