The Barkleys of Broadway

---

You'll adore the step

that everyone's been waiting for

You'll find a crowd on every dancing floor

Because of something called

the Swing Trot

Remember Swing Trot

It's a deal

It's very simple with terrif'appeal

You grab a partner when you hear a band

And you're the greatest dancer in the land

It's bill and coo-y

Tea for two-y

Just watch your partner's eyes grow dewy

Entre nous-y, you're slightly screwy

But irresistible!

On and on

Oh, what a natural they've hit upon

It gets you going till you're really gone

And you will never rue the day

The day you realize

the Swing Trot is here to stay

Speech!

Thank you again, ladies and gentlemen.

We're overjoyed

at this wonderful reception...

of our third show together...

and I think I speak

for my two lifelong partners...

my charming wife

and Ezra Millar, the composer...

when I say that none of us

could have done it without the other two.

I don't know.

I've done it before without you two.

Four shows, four flops.

Ezra, the score to this is just wonderful.

I feel you should get all the credit.

I do, too.

Incidentally, while we're patting

each other on the back...

what about your little woman?

She contributed something

to the occasion.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

But what would my performance be...

without my husband

Josh Barkley's clever lyrics...

and brilliant direction?

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm sure that my lyrics and direction...

would mean absolutely nothing...

without my clever and brilliant wife

to perform them.

But, ladies and gentlemen,

I merely perform the material...

the way my husband taught

and directed me.

But, ladies and gentlemen,

in the hands of a talent...

such as my lovely wife Dinah's...

any material would look

pretty darned wonderful.

- But, ladies and gentlemen...

- Ladies and gentlemen...

this meeting

of the mutual admiration society...

is now adjourned.

Thank you, and good night.

- Sign my book.

- Just one more. Please sign.

Just one more.

There you are.

All right. That's the last one now.

- We've got to go.

- I'm going.

- Where are you going?

- Have a good time.

- Goodbye.

- Have a nice time.

- Allow me, madam.

- Thank you, sir.

Must we go to old lady Belney's party?

It's so nice here.

But we have to. Opening night party

at Mrs. Livingston Belney's.

My dear, it's a state law.

Opening night.

It was wonderful, though, wasn't it?

- Everything went so smoothly.

- It just goes to show...

all those little troubles along the way

just don't matter now.

Like those silly little rows we had

in rehearsal and on the road.

Darling, did you really mean

all those things you said about me...

in your curtain speech?

Honey, of course I did.

It was your show tonight. I could feel it.

Then you mean it was really all right?

All right? Why, you were terrific.

You got all your laughs, your timing,

every gesture, perfect.

Oh, thank you, darling.

Of course, if I wanted to be a...

Well, it didn't amount to anything.

There was one place

in the subway scene...

that maybe you could've gotten

a little more out of.

But, well...

Really?

No, it was nothing. It was just a...

No, what was wrong? I want to know.

It was just a detail.

Probably opening night nerves.

We'll talk about it later.

I want to talk about it now.

I won't sleep a wink tonight...

- worrying about it.

- Nothing to worry about, drop it.

You brought it up.

You think you can sit here, criticizing me...

I don't want to go into it. It's just a detail.

It's always just a detail.

A detail here, a detail there,

and then it starts to grow.

Pick, pick, pick on everything I do.

It's just...

What was it?

Well, if you must know...

I just thought you could've

put a little more drama in there.

A little more emotion.

The audience wants to cry there.

You didn't let them. You owe it to them.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

- Did it ever occur to you that you...

- The doorman.

Well.

There they are! Welcome, my darlings.

- Josh! Dinah!

- What?

- I've got something important to tell you.

- I've got to talk to you.

- Hurry up.

- What's the secret?

What are you doing? Stop it.

Well, what?

- What is the matter?

- Nothing.

I thought I'd rescue you from the squares.

- Thanks, pal.

- I wondered.

"In the nick of time Ezra,"

that's my name.

- Come on. Have some coffee.

- No, thanks.

Like during those curtain speeches.

If I hadn't stopped you...

you'd have been at each others' throats

in another second.

What do you mean

"at each others throats"?

- We meant every word we said. Didn't we?

- Of course.

Ezra, you exaggerate this thing

about our fighting much too much.

- Sure.

- After all, we haven't had a fight in weeks.

- In weeks.

- Of course not.

I apologize for what happened

in the car, Dinah.

I'm sorry. I apologize to you.

And I apologize to both of you

for having let you out of my sight.

It's my fault.

Hey, Cleo. Where have you been?

I beg your pardon, Mr. Millar.

This lady happens to be my wife.

Congratulations.

Are you happy in your work?

- Cleo?

- Looking for me, baby?

Why don't you wear an X

on your forehead? Come on, follow me.

There's Mrs. Belney.

She's going to ask us to perform.

Let's duck. Mrs. Belney.

- Excuse us. I'm sorry.

- Thank you very much.

- Excuse us, please.

- I know what let's do.

- What?

- We'll fill these plates...

- smuggle them under our coats, go home.

- We can't.

- This whole thing is for us.

- There must be a place we can be alone.

- Well, I know, but...

- Let's go out on the terrace.

Honey, there's snow out there.

I'll get your wrap. We'll have a picnic.

- Wonderful!

- Fine. Now you pile up your plate...

and follow me out there.

Bring a knife and fork.

I'll probably freeze to death.

May I be of some assistance,

Mrs. Barkley?

Thank you, yes.

- Would you mind holding that?

- Not at all.

We haven't met. I'm Jacques Barredout.

How do you do? Of course.

I should have recognized you

from your pictures.

I'm glad you didn't. They're frightful.

The only good one I have

is rather indecent, I'm afraid.

Taken on a bearskin rug

at the age of three months.

I have one of those, too.

- You do?

- Yes.

I'm quite an admirer of your plays.

I understand you're just finishing

a new one.

It's just about finishing me.

My most serious effort. I plan to direct it.

- How nice.

- I only hope it'll be half as successful...

as your little musical extravaganza.

I was there tonight.

- Well, the audience seemed to like it.

- Unfortunately, I did not.

- Well, at least you're honest.

- Now, don't be angry, please.

I don't care for musical comedy in general.

- But this one for a special reason.

- And what was that?

You.

You're wasted in musical comedy.

You could be a great tragic actress.

Monsieur Barredout,

you really don't mean that.

I do.

There was one moment in particular

I was moved to tears, the subway scene.

Shall we?

The subway scene!

And who knows?

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