The Barkleys of Broadway Page #2

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Sarah Bernhardt, Eleonora Duse...

in this crass, modern, commercial theater

might have ended up in musical comedy...

just as you have done. Don't you see?

Oh, but it's so utterly silly of you

to compare me...

with those inspired immortals.

After all...

But you really did think

in the subway scene I had some of their...

Their quality. Mais oui.

How extraordinary.

Only a few minutes ago

I was talking to someone...

who didn't think

I had the emotional gift at all.

- He must be a complete idiot.

- Well, it's interesting to get both...

- Oh! Darling, where have you been?

- Siberia.

Bless you.

I got into the most interesting

conversation with Monsieur Barredout.

Allow me to present Monsieur Barredout.

Mr. Husband.

- Barkley's the name.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

- I was telling your wife...

- I'd seen your show tonight and I think...

- Don't tell him.

- Charming.

- Thanks.

And now, Mrs. Barkley,

I hope we meet again...

now that we have a bearskin rug

in common.

- Will you excuse me?

- Certainly.

- Au revoir.

- Au revoir.

Don't you think we ought to...

Where are they? Oh, there you are!

You're not going?

Darlings, I want you to come...

- do the little number you did.

- Sorry, I can't sing, I have a terrible cold.

I may not be able to do

the show tomorrow night.

- But, Millie, I'm in beautiful voice tonight.

- Don't you think you better play?

Listen everyone, Ezra's going to play.

- Good.

- Oh, that's wonderful.

You know my favorite, darling.

Pale Fingers.

Did anybody here ask

for the Sabre Dance?

- I'd like to hear Campanella.

- Rhapsody in Blue.

Malaguena.

- Sabre Dance, anybody?

- Oh, no.

Well, if you insist.

Opening night.

Some opening night.

All right. What about opening night?

Big sentimental occasion.

Our moment of triumph.

And what do I find you doing?

Flirting with a stuffed dinner jacket.

- Flirting?

- Flirting.

- Oh, darling, how perfectly ridiculous.

- Yeah.

I was just sitting there...

- talking to the man, that's all.

- Sure, naturally.

- And I couldn't get away.

- You couldn't get away.

And I'm out there

on that terrace catching my death of cold.

A lot you care if I have to do

the show from an oxygen tent.

An oxygen tent! Oh, really!

I've been sneezing and coughing

like a Model T.

You haven't had a hint of a sneeze

for over an hour.

I'll bet you're sorry I'm not sneezing.

- Go find a nice draft, sneeze your head off.

- I will not!

Oh, darling, don't be so childish!

- A lot of sympathy a fellow gets here.

- You're tired, so am I.

- I could stay in bed for a week.

- Could be in bed for a week...

and nobody would give a hang.

- What's the matter with...

- Did you say something?

For all you care,

I'd still be out on that terrace frozen blue...

and you'd still be inside

simpering at that half-stuffed...

- Oh, Josh.

- "Oh, Josh. "

I really don't know

what to think of Mr. Barredout.

He said some of the silliest,

most stupid things.

Let's hear some of those stupid things

you were so afraid he'd repeat to me.

Well, if you really must know,

he just hated the show.

Did he? I'm glad. Now I know it's good.

- He hated...

- And the funniest thing of all...

is that he thought I was at my best

in the subway scene.

Oh, no!

He says I'm a great tragic actress...

wasted in musical comedy.

You, a tragic actress?

I'm glad you told me.

Now I know he's a complete imbecile.

He's not such an imbecile as all that.

After all,

before I really went into the theater...

in high school, I played Juliet.

"Romeo, Romeo

"Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

- Who played Romeo?

- Mildred Higgins. She was...

It's possible that Monsieur Barredout

could see things in me...

- that you don't appreciate.

- Don't get any silly notions in your head.

- You're a song and dance girl.

- That's all you ever allowed me to do.

- What?

- That's all you ever allowed me to do.

"Allowed you"? Why, you couldn't walk

across the stage without me.

There isn't a gesture you do

that I didn't teach you.

That's a lie!

It took a lot of patience

to put you where you are.

- Patience?

- I worked. I pulled things out of you.

- I think that's going...

- I molded you like...

- Oh, sure.

- Like Svengali did Trilby.

- Svengali?

- Yeah, the guy with the beard, that's me.

- Why, you cheap...

- Go ahead. Throw it.

Thank you, and good night.

- Blood!

- Blood?

- Blood? Darling, what have I done?

- Nothing. It's just concussion, that's all.

- Darling, no. What have I done?

- I don't know.

Please come in here, let me fix it.

I'll put water on it.

- Looks like a fractured skull.

- Let me fix it for you. You have a hanky?

What with walking pneumonia

and concussion...

a fine performance

I'll give tomorrow night.

I'm so sorry. I'm so...

- Oh, it's stopped bleeding.

- It has?

- Yes. You're going to be all right.

- I am?

Dearest, I'm horrible! I'm just horrible!

I know what let's do.

Come on. Now, hit me!

- In cold blood?

- Well, come on. I deserve It.

You look so brave

and you didn't even ask to be blindfolded.

- I just can't.

- I insist upon being punished.

All right. You asked for it.

- Thank you, darling.

- Thank you.

- I love you.

- I love you, too, baby.

I know what let's do.

Let's go downstairs...

- and fix some scrambled eggs and toast.

- I'm not hungry.

- But we didn't eat at the party.

- Sure. You were so busy, I was...

- Now, now...

- I'm sorry.

I'll go get your robe.

You must keep nice and warm.

We'll turn on the heat downstairs.

Hey, let's light the fire.

Here you are, darling.

Oh, you shouldn't smoke.

It isn't good for your cold.

I have a confession to make.

I haven't got a cold.

I know it.

All that I know

Is you'd be hard to replace

Where else in all the world

Such loveliness and such grace?

The poet often chanted

The love he found divine

But never was he granted

A lady-love like mine

Deep down, deep down inside

My secret heart knows

The more that I'm with you

The more and more my rapture grows

Without you at my side

I fear

No future could I face

For you'd be

Oh, so hard to replace

Hello, Ezra.

For the producer of a hit show,

you look awful sad. What's up, Bert?

- I'm worried, Ezra. Just sit down.

- What about? The show closing in 1953?

I'm worried about Josh and Dinah.

They haven't had a fight

since the show opened.

They've got a peace pact.

That's just it.

This tension is too much for me.

All this calm, all this lovey-dovey.

I don't quite trust it.

Ezra, we've got to get

an understudy for Dinah.

Don't look at me, I'm knock-kneed.

Come on up on the stage.

There's a cute kid from the chorus

I've had my eye on for some time.

I want you to listen to her.

Dinah's never had an understudy.

She's not gonna like it.

Someone will have to break it

to her gently.

- I'll bet I'm elected.

- Shirlene!

- Yes?

- Ezra, this is Shirlene May.

Hello, Mr. Millar.

I'm just scared to death...

to sing for such a talented composer

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