The Barkleys of Broadway Page #3

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as you are.

I'll let you know about that later.

What're you gonna sing?

Mrs. Barkley's blues song from the show.

- Good.

- Okay, Shirlene.

Well, if you all are ready, I am.

I'm gonna sing

- Hello, everybody.

- Hi.

- Look who dropped in.

- What are you doing here?

- We'd like to rehearse.

- In the middle of the night, isn't it?

- See you. I'd better get back.

- Wait a minute.

We're caught

with our understudy showing.

- Understudy?

- Understudy?

Josh, Dinah, come here a minute.

I want you to...

Ezra!

It's like this.

In case anything ever happened...

I mean, in case the two of you

just sometime...

What he means is,

if you two ever quarrel and you decide...

not to go on some night, Dinah.

Bert felt you should have an understudy.

- Nothing wrong with that. Wonderful idea.

- Why not?

- What?

- We don't object, do we?

Of course not. You won't need one.

- Wonderful.

- Mr. Millar, excuse me. Can I sing now?

- Of course. Go right ahead.

- Fine. Thanks.

- Honey.

- Yes?

Dinah, this is Miss Shirlene.

Hello, Mrs. Barkley.

Oh, hello.

- Cute.

- She's going to sing your blues number.

I hope I remember it.

I'm so frightened in front of all my bosses.

- I guess I shouldn't have said that.

- Don't be silly. We're all your friends.

- Why, sure.

- Go on, Shirley.

- Thanks. It's Shirlene.

- Shirlene, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Cute?

- Is this all right?

- Yeah, fine. Go ahead.

Joe, please.

I'm gonna sing

It's not necessary

to make Shirley audition...

- Shirlene.

- Yes, I know, dear.

She'll be perfect for the part.

Let's start our rehearsal

or we won't get it done.

- Break it up. Here we go.

- We have a long dance.

You're it.

Come on. We'll go up to the office.

- Thanks. Thanks awfully.

- All right.

You've all been so wonderful to me

and I want to thank you.

And, Mrs. Barkley,

I'm going to learn your part real good.

I'll probably never get to do it,

but, well, you never can tell, can you?

Well, I guess that's show business. Bye.

Josh, what about lunch?

Can't do it.

We have to rehearse this number.

It goes in the show tonight.

And then we've to go...

to the gallery where that fellow's

got that portrait...

for publicity or something of us.

- The art gallery?

- Yeah.

Well, that's show business.

- I didn't think she was as cute as all that.

- Not quite as cute as all that, Mr. Barkley.

Your worries are over.

With that hunk of fluff in the wings...

why, Dinah would go on

with two broken legs.

All right. Go.

...principle between art forms...

- and formed art. The secret...

- It's here. I'll get Ladi.

The Barkleys are here.

Are you ready?

Ready.

Mr. Ladislaus Ladi, the Barkleys.

Mr. Barkley, Mrs. Barkley,

this is a great pleasure.

I've never met you,

but now that I see you...

I realize how perfectly I've captured you.

I hope you will admire my crude efforts.

I'm sorry to be so stupid...

but why am I a pancake?

As I see you, you are creative union.

You, creative frying pan...

in which the shapeless, raw batter, you...

are transformed by creative miracle...

into irresistible pancake.

It is Pygmalion breathing life on Galatea...

or like, who's that fellow...

- With the beard?

- Yeah.

- Svengali.

- Yeah!

- Yes.

- Only impression, of course.

Naturally, it's only an impression.

I am very grateful for the explanation.

If you'll forgive me, I'll go now.

Goodbye.

What's the matter, honey?

Did you hear what he said? Svengali.

If that's what everybody thinks,

there must be something to it.

- After all, these are just total strangers...

- Darling! How divine.

We've come all the way from the country

to see your portrait.

- Well, it's...

- You remember Monsieur Barredout?

- Hello.

- Mrs. Barkley, Mr. Barkley.

How are you? We were just leaving.

Oh, wait a moment.

I'm perishing for the sight of your portrait.

I hear it's brilliant.

- It's right up there.

- Well, come along.

I'm sure it's perfectly dreadful.

Ladi's nothing better

than a tenth-rate surrealist.

I'm so glad to hear you say that.

You know, for a minute I was just

a little afraid he might make sense.

I very much doubt

that he could possibly capture you.

I guess we'd better hurry.

Gotta put on the old feedbag.

Wait, you impulsive children.

Always scurrying.

I can never pin you down.

I want you for next Sunday in the country.

It's for Jacques. He's finished his play.

- How nice! Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Well, we'd like... I think it's all...

I don't... Josh.

Josh, where are you?

You must come.

We'll all sit around an open fire...

and roast a few old chestnuts.

And then possibly later,

we can roast my play.

Please try to come.

Well, we'll see.

Oh, no! I don't believe we could, because,

you see...

we have tickets for the symphony.

Yes, I'm terribly sorry, Millie.

Josh, we really must go.

- It's nice to have seen you.

- There's no symphony...

- Why didn't you help me out?

- I didn't think you wanted me to.

You didn't want to go.

- Do you?

- No.

Then why the hesitation? All you have

to say is, "I'm sorry, can't make it. "

You acted as flustered

as a schoolgirl at a prom.

You flustered me.

What kind of talk is that?

"Gotta go put on the old feedbag. "

That fellow brings out the gangster in me.

Stick to the subject.

- Lf you want to go, go!

- I don't want to go.

But if you want to go,

I'm not going to try to hold you back.

I wish we'd never gone to that exhibition,

then this wouldn't have come up.

Dinah, every time you've come in contact

with that fellow Barredout...

you've been affected

in a very peculiar manner.

"Every time"? I've only met the man twice.

He's got some kind of strange hold on you.

Look, let's get the cast

of characters straight.

You're Svengali, remember?

How many do I need?

- Excuse me. I should have knocked.

- Yes, you should have.

Well, now that I'm inside,

apologies and all that.

I wanted to ask you

about that makeup base you use.

- Please don't. I'm fixing my eyes.

- I'm sorry.

In case I ever do go on,

I'd like to look like you.

- It's Number four.

- Is it really?

Well, it looks wonderful on you.

That's funny. I tried it once, you know,

and it just looked awful on me.

I thought maybe I was allergic

or something.

I took it back to the store

and the girl there said:

"Well, it's all right

for a different type of skin. "

Mine's much too delicate.

Now, isn't that ridiculous?

Yes, as a kid they used to call me

"Old Elephant-hide. "

- I didn't mean...

- Shirley.

- It's Shirlene, dear.

- Do you mind? We haven't much time.

Of course not. Pardon the intrusion.

It's just that I'm so willing to learn,

Mr. Barkley...

Well, I'll be watching you. Bye.

Though we're called

a people of serious mind

'Tis often we dance, 'tis often we sing

And being as human as all humankind

We aren't superior to having a fling

I'm taking the fling of a lifetime

The fling of a husband and wife-time

When I went romancing

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