The Barkleys of Broadway Page #4

---

I gave no thought to any wedding ring

Every bonny lassie

Was my highland fling

No chance was I chancin'

I'm not the man you dangle on a string

I was canny waiting

For the real, real thing

Though I danced each girl

in a twist and twirl

Na ' one would do

And I went my way till the fatal day

In the fling I was flung with you

Oh, now

My heart is prancing gay as a lark

And happy as a king

The years I'll weather

In the hame or on the heather

With my one and only highland fling

I thought you were falling

for Andy MacPherson

Nay, nay, he became an impossible person

But what about you

and that Connie Mackenzie?

She talked when I putted

and drove me to frenzy

But what of the lad

known as Bobby MacDougal?

It pays to be thrifty, but he was too frugal

And weren't you daft

about Megan McDermott?

I tasted her cooking

'Twould make me a hermit

How jealous I was

of McDonald McCutcheon

His neck had a head on

but there wasn't much in

And what about Sandy?

His hands were too handy

And wasn't there a Jenny?

I'm not wanting any

I'm not wanting any but you

When I went a-dancing

No special lad I was encouragin'

Every lackly laddie was

My highland fling

No glance I was glancing

Well, nothing really worth a-mentioning

Hopin', watchin', waitin'

For the real, real thing

Though they spoke me soft

in the moonlit oft'

Na ' one would do

Till it came to pass to this lucky lass

In a fling I was flung with you

Now my heart is prancin'

Nothin'about ya I'd be alterin'

The years I'll weather

In the hame or on the heather

With me one and only highland fling

Are you all right, Mrs. Barkley?

Yes, I'm all right.

This may sound

like awful prima donna stuff...

but I can't stand that girl.

Now, it isn't as bad as all that, is it?

Yes, it is. She gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Every time I turn around,

there she is staring at me.

Now, don't get jumpy about her, honey.

I'll rehearse her in the afternoons

and keep her out of the wings, all right?

If you don't get jumpy

whenever I see that silly Barredout man.

No, I won't. The next time I see him

I'll go out of my way to be nice to him.

That's better.

- You know something?

- What?

I think you and I could use

a little relaxation...

sort of a Sunday in the country

or something.

We'll go to Millie's, and I promise you

when I see Barredout...

I'll treat him like a long-lost cousin.

- That's my baby.

- Yeah.

Ezra, get a whiff of that fresh air.

Can I go home now?

- Hello, there.

- Hello.

- Let me take those bags, sir.

- Yeah.

- How far is the house from here?

- About half a mile, madam.

- Let's walk.

- No!

- Come on.

- Say, that's a great idea.

It'll put the color back in those cheeks.

They're my favorite color now.

A nice healthy green.

- Go ahead, driver.

- Yes, sir.

- We turn right at the fork, don't we?

- Yes, sir. Then left at Pinetop Road.

Fine. Now I remember. Thank you.

With golf and tennis 'round you

And no cares to hound you

When Mother Nature beckons,

who can decline?

Till Mother Nature vetoes

The bees and mosquitoes

Mother Nature is no mother of mine!

From Saturday night to Monday morn,

There's always joy ahead

From Saturday night to Monday morn,

I wish that I were dead!

A weekend in the country

Never will let you down

You'll pardon my effrontery

I'd rather spend it in town

A weekend in the country

Healthy and full of sport

And then it isn't small potatoes

When you get those fresh tomatoes

I've a list of fresh tomatoes

Suing me now in court

Oh, give me the milk from the moo-cow

Of corn right from the field, I'm fond

In town I'd be splurgin'

On venison and sturgeon

Beside a beautiful blonde

A weekend gets you sunburned

Vitamin A you win

I'd rather get back unburned

With my original skin

A weekend in the country

Glorious, there's no doubt

A weekend in the country

What's the next train out?

A weekend in the country

Trees in the orchard call

When you've examined one tree

Then you've examined them all

A weekend in the country

Happily we endorse

Come get your share of nature's bounty

Ride the trail around the county

I am no Canadian Mountie

Why do I need a horse?

Hark, hark to the song of the bullfrog

At dawn, you rise up with the lark

When roosters run riot

I much prefer the quiet

Of Forty-Second and Park

Get peppy and alivey

Don't be a city poke

I once got poison ivy

Will you try for poison oak?

A weekend in the country

Dickey-bird's overhead

A weekend in the country

I should've stood in bed

Good morning, Jacques, dear genius boy.

Good morning.

I must say good morning

to all my other guests. Good morning.

- Darling, that was a wonderful shot.

- I liked it, too.

It's Dinah Barkley.

And Josh Barkley.

Oh, yes, and Josh.

Hello, there, Millar. I didn't see you.

It is a bit foggy, isn't it?

Hi, Jackson! Dig you later, boy.

Qu'est-ce que c'est? "Dig you later"?

Honey, don't you think

that's overdoing it a wee bit?

I hear you just finished

tearing off your latest masterpiece.

- Who's starring in it?

- Pamela Driscoll.

Oh, yes, Pamela Driscoll.

I can just see the play.

A well-dressed, brittle affair?

Not at all. My play is a character study

of a great actress, Sarah Bernhardt.

It deals with her early years,

so I call it The Young Sarah.

It takes a great actress

to play a great actress.

You're absolutely right, Millar.

Pardon me. Gloria, this is Mr. Barredout.

How do you do?

- Jacques, darling!

- Hello, Pamela.

Hello, Ezra. Hello, Gloria.

Can you imagine

me playing Sarah Bernhardt?

I'm working on it.

Nothing.

Jacques, I've memorized the first scene.

I'd like to do it for you.

I've got such ideas about the part.

For my entrance, I'm going to wear

a sumptuous black velvet suit.

Period, of course, you understand...

Pamela, remember,

it's not clothes that will make this part.

I know, darling, I know.

Young Sarah must have sincerity

and sensitivity.

And she will.

Now come on in the library

and let me read for you.

- I'll join you in a minute.

- Good. I'll get the script.

- You know what I like about you, Gloria?

- What?

You're free of the slavery of talent.

Your play.

Hello, there.

Hello.

Hello, Jacques! How are you, boy?

Glad to see you.

I hope you've had enough

of this good clean fun.

Why don't we all go inside

and take a sleeping pill?

- Beg your pardon.

- I beg your pardon. My fault.

Not at all.

Ez, you promised

to play a little golf with me.

I feel just dire.

I was hoping you'd forget it.

- Honey, do you mind?

- What?

- We're going to play a little golf.

- Not at all. I'll go shower and change...

and meet you on the ninth green

in an hour.

- Fine.

- Okay.

I'll be waiting. Come on.

- You can come along, Gloria.

- You going to teach me to play golf?

If you're good, you can wear a sumptuous

black gown and play the best part: Caddy.

Oh, caddy, that's cute.

Here it is. I was looking for it.

Yes, I found it right here

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes