The Beautician and the Beast Page #7

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You are a beast.

Oh, Karl. I'll miss you.

- I made a painting for you.

- Oh, how sweet.

I'll hang it right in my...

...attic.

- It's the way I will always think of you.

- I'm so flattered, really.

Oh, sweetie.

Remember what I told you?

Big is beautiful.

Boys will like me for what I am.

A princess with a great big dowry.

Oh, sweetie. Give it some time.

Why? You think my father someday

will just let me see Alek?

No.

Give it time. In two years you'll be

18 and can do whatever you want.

What did he say?

He doesn't remember our mother,

but he hopes she was just like you.

Come here.

- I love you, kids.

- Excuse me.

Oh, Ira. I'm sorry.

For you.

- How sweet.

- Also...

The President insisted you are paid

the remainder of your tenure.

Tell him to take that and...

Wait a minute, what am I saying?

He's rich and I'm fired. Gimme that.

Oh, Ira. Thank you for everything.

- What happened? Are you all right?

- You're here!

- What's this?

- A chicken?

- It's a long story.

- Are you all right?

- Vaclav.

- Good morning, Mr President.

- How's your cold?

- All better. Thank you.

I don't think the President mentioned

wanting to destroy the strike.

Of course, I could've been

out of the room.

He's been like zombie for weeks now.

Must the government cease to operate?

Besides, I can't imagine

how he could find out.

- Can you?

- He'd have to be incredibly intuitive.

Or else, walk in the door

at exactly the right moment.

That would be another way.

Grushinsky. I underestimate you.

So, I'm sending troops

into the factory,

despite a 30% rise in productivity.

- How unlike me.

- I was stunned.

And these orders... Export our grain.

Export our wheat.

Some must starve

so that others can eat.

Ah, no wonder they call me dictator.

Apparently, that's what I am.

Tell me, Grushinsky, how long

have I been such a monster?

- For weeks now, Your Excellency.

- Weeks?

You don't say?

After all these years, Leonid.

- Do you finally think me stupid?

- No.

I think you worse.

You turn your back on your people

for a pretty face.

Watch your tongue,

or I'll really show you a monster.

It would be time!

It's like...

It's like she has put a spell on you!

Turtlenecks and Twister!

All the time the country

is without a leader.

You forged my name.

This woman would have you

destroy the country.

You must act,

Mr President. An iron fist.

You're responsible for the people.

Not to them!

That's where you're wrong.

You instil fear, but you earn respect.

- Very good, Mr President.

- Now, you want to see me act?

Guards!

I am placing Mr Kleist under arrest.

The charge is treason.

- How was that for action?

- I was riveted.

- Take him away.

- Mr President, please.

I have known your family all my life.

Your grandfather's rule survived

the Second World War.

Your father's rule

survived communism.

Are you now to be brought

down by... a beautician?

Ma! I'm home!

- How was work?

- Oh, you kidding?

What I did with

Mrs D'Amato's six hairs,

Siegfried and Roy couldn't do

on their best day.

- Happy birthday.

- How come you got all dressed up...?

You're not planning a party, because

I just cried through one at work.

- We're not having a party.

- Happy birthday.

Not having a party?

We wanted to get you

something you'd really use.

This is...

...a membership to Blockbuster Video.

A new one next to Eat-a-Pita.

This is the single most depressing

moment of my entire life.

Wait.

Lou!

- Look, Joy!

- Hi, Uncle Lou.

- Happy birthday, honey.

- Thank you.

- Oh, you got some tan on your trip.

- No, actually, I was in Eastern Europe.

Here, Jerry.

Remember, a hard seat for me.

I hope you didn't do what I think you did!

I don't know what you're talking about.

- Hi!

- Everybody, it's cousin Doris!

- Happy birthday, gorgeous.

- Thank you.

- Tell me about your vacation.

- I wasn't on vacation, I...

- Did you bring back wooden shoes?

- No.

She didn't even bring wooden shoes.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you. How sweet.

Thank you so much.

Great to see you.

- Who is that?

- I've no idea.

- Ma?

- I met him yesterday at Carvel.

- We don't even know him?

- He's a body.

You want an empty party?

Oh! Don't leave the door open.

You want the chicken to get out?

Happy birthday, Joy!

White meat or dark meat?

Where's my chicken?

He's fine, you see? I just fed him.

- Ma, what's he eating?

- Same as us.

- You fed the chicken chicken?

- Make two dinners? I've enough to do.

- How could you?

- He don't know any better.

- Anyway, it's delicious.

- It's Silence of the Chickens.

He's here.

Who's here?

He made us promise not to tell you.

He's come so far just to see you.

He wants you back.

He told me that letting you go

was the biggest mistake of his life.

Oh, my God.

- Joy Miller.

- Remember Denny Kupperman?

We used to go steady

in Junior High.

I remember that senior show you

wrote. A Rosemary's Baby musical.

Ooh, I hummed and I screamed.

I love you, Ro

Don't keep me waitin'

This embryo belongs to Satan

That was great!

- Er, sweetheart.

- It was a little flat.

- We're low on ice.

- Thank you, Daddy. I love you.

I gotta get some ice.

Oh, thank you.

I couldn't stay away. Before you make

me leave, let me tell you three things.

One, I've released the boy and

I'm having free elections in the spring.

Two...

...I love you.

I can't live another day without you.

And, three...

...one and two is plenty.

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