The Bellboy Page #3

I'm getting the first plane back

to New York in the morning.

I'm completely exhausted.

You and your bright ideas.

I don't blame you, but it wasn't my fault

they didn't receive the telegram.

Look, Dottie, I have an idea. That old

boyfriend of mine, Bob Clayton?

He's a bell captain here. I bet

he can find accommodations for us.

You just relax.

I'll be back in a minute. OK?

Stanley!

I couldn't care less

about your problems.

I've got a very responsible position.

I'm in charge of all the transportation

for this hotel.

Yes, I know, but...

Look, I don't give a darn.

We're going to work this thing out...

Either you do it the way I say or...

...you can come here and

we'll try to straighten it out, sir.

Yes, sir, thank you very much.

- Mr Novak, about this call...

- Never mind. This is more important.

We're responsible

for the actions of your boys.

At all times, you are to see to it

that they conduct themselves

in a manner befitting a man wearing

the uniform of the Fontainebleau!

Count on me.

I'll keep them out of the strip joints

if it's the last thing I do.

And now, friends and folks,

we're glad to present

those terrific fellas, the Novelites.

Howdy, neighbours. It's sure good

this evening. I got a surprise for you.

I brought a couple of kinfolk along.

On my right is my old happy cousin,

Smiley McCoy. Come out, Smiley boy.

Doggone, it's sure good to see you,

you little maverick, you.

Doggone, you're looking mighty fine,

Smiley boy.

Do me a favour. Take a step forward.

These are nice people sitting out here.

Don't be afraid.

Take yourself a step forward.

Tell you what to do, Smiley. Take a big

old step forward and give the folks...

- Ah-ah!

- Oh, God.

Just take a step forward.

That ain't too much.

Take a little bitty step forward and

give them your Arthur Murray smile.

We're gonna feature Zeke on the guitar.

He's gonna take hold of that guitar

and twang it for you.

Gonna grab that guitar,

he gon' twang it for ya...

As a matter of fact, he's gonna take hold

of that little old guitar, folks,

he gonna twang-twang it for you.

Grab guitar, twang-twang a little bit!

I tell you, he gonna grab hold

of that guitar down there,

twist it up, tune it up,

gonna twang-twang-twang it for you!

Grab it, gonna twangy-twang-twang!

- Look, I'm trying...

- Ah!

What's the matter? He's gonna grab

that guitar, gonna twang-feet it for you!

Flang-flip-wibba-bum!

We're about set do a song

entitled "The Alabama Jubilee".

- You ready there?

- Ready.

And here's the little doll you've

all been waiting for, Rock Candy!

I can't tell you

how upset I am about this.

You're upset? I have to go back

to New York and do a TV show.

Relax, Mr Sedley, relax.

Relax, my eye. I'm going to find out

who did this terrible thing to me.

He has ruined my entire career.

You can sit here, son.

It's OK. Sit here. I'm through.

Hi, Stanley.

Hey, gang!

There's a crazy guy having lunch down

the bottom of the pool. Take a look!

Front boy.

Stanley, see that steamer trunk?

Go down there and get me...

Stanley, you never let me finish

what I'm going to say.

If you had listened, you would know

that I did not want the steamer trunk.

I wanted what was

on the steamer trunk.

If you'd listened and waited,

you'd have found out

that I wanted the hatbox

that was sitting on the steamer trunk.

You dashed away before

you gave me a chance to explain.

Go back, put the steamer trunk back

and get me the hatbox

that is sitting on...

Stanley!

...that is sitting on the steamer trunk.

All right, go... Stanley!

Thank you, Stanley.

Would you like a bite?

This is delicious.

Greatest apples in the world.

Only one place you get these apples.

You go down here...make a left.

Sure you don't want...?

Just wonderful.

Mother,

I've been here almost six weeks,

and all I've been able to do so far

is go to the movies, and alone,

or just sit around the pool.

What, Mother?

No, there aren't any nice young

people I'd like to go out with.

They're either after my money or they

just want to drive my Rolls-Royce.

So until I find a nice, quiet,

unassuming someone

who's only interested in me

and not my millions,

I'll have to go to the movies.

Because remember, Mother,

movies are your best entertainment.

Give my best to everyone

in Australia.

All right, Mother, be well, and

I'll call you again in ten minutes.

Goodbye.

Where were you when I needed you?

Get your hand off.

Am I to understand the suite

for Mr and Mrs Manville isn't ready?

- I'm sorry.

- Where are they?

Right over there, sir.

Mr and Mrs Manville, sorry the suite

wasn't ready when you arrived.

That's perfectly all right, Mr Novak.

We understand, but we won't for long.

Speak for yourself. I'm anxious to

get to the room and open my presents.

Please, hold on a little longer.

Your suite will be ready in half an hour.

Couldn't we have one room

in 15 minutes?

I'll check again, Mrs Manville.

What difference does it make?

We're content, aren't we?

Of course, Ferdinand,

but we were engaged for 13 years.

Now that we're married...

We're all set. If you just follow me,

I'll show you to your suite.

- Oops.

- Oh, God.

Oh, my back!

Oh, my back!

Mr Clayton, how did this happen?

All I know is that Stanley spilled

something and was waxing it over...

Oh, my back.

I understand, but did you call the valet?

Oh, I see.

He must be making his rounds.

In that case, if you just call him again...

Yes, sir, I see. We'll have a boy

up there right away. Thank you.

Front boy! 877, Mr Wheal, pick up.

Take these pants

and have them pressed right away.

I have a heavy date tonight

and I'll give you a heavy tip.

No, dear.

But I only...

But you only...

Yes, dear.

Once again, this is Barney Shank

at the 18th green,

bringing you the final minutes

of this exciting $25,000 Open

with the two finalists, Jack Keller

and Dr Cary Middlecoff.

Middlecoff is making his approach.

Here goes the backswing

and the ball is lofted high in the air.

It's going in...

It must be about three feet away.

A beautiful, beautiful approach shot.

Just gorgeous.

Beautiful day for the game today.

It's very still, very quiet.

Everyone most anxious.

Here's Jack Keller putting.

There it goes. It was beautiful.

That putt put Jack Keller even

with Dr Cary Middlecoff.

If Cary Middlecoff makes this putt,

it's like shooting fish in a barrel

for old Dead Eye Middlecoff.

It will mean

the 18-hole playoff tomorrow

for the big $25,000 purse.

This has certainly been

a gorgeous day today.

And there's a lot of money depending

on this next putt, folks.

A lot of money.

Now the crowd is all settled.

No one is even breathing.

He's lining up the putt.

He sets himself.

And ladies and gentlemen,

here is the big one.

- Hi, Bob.

- Hi, Hal. You're a little late.

Yeah, I had a big date.

Just me, the chick and the full moon.

- Now you hit me where I live.

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes