The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Page #6

that acknowledges her.

I'm not eating that.

You will insult her

very deeply if you do not.

It's good.

Oh!

Get off there!

The little bastards! Get off!

Get up! Get 'em off there!

Get 'em off me-

Ah.

I- I di-

I didn't know they were playing.

I-

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

How much for this piece?

One thousand rupees.

Thank you.

No, no, no, no.

Forgive me. Forgive me. No, no.

That's, um- That's not how it works.

Uh, sorry to butt in.

But, uh, you don't ask him how much he wants.

You just tell him how much you'll pay.

She'll give you, uh- She'll give you 200.

Absolutely no more, final offer.

One thousand rupees.

Pity.

Walk away. Now walk away.

Oh, but-

I know what I'm doing.

- The thing is I really wanted to buy that.

- He'll come after us.

Do you think so?

Absolutely.

This is how the game is played.

Just keep on walking.

He's playing it very cool,

but he'll come.

Ah.

He's playing it

very, very, um, cool.

Thank you.

Sure.

You'll get him next time.

Why are you carrying a tap?

You see, what I think, and

of course, I'm no expert,

is that the gland nut has

come away from the spindle,

so it needs to be

tightened and resealed.

The washer valve has eroded.

Yeah. Uh, well, uh, yeah.

It-It-It could be that too.

- Um, uh, can you fix it?

- Not cheaply.

Not cheaply.

Most expensively indeed.

I was in a- I was in a

tuk-tuk the other day.

It didn't seem to be taking the

usual route back to the hotel.

It turned out the driver had decided

to take me to another hotel...

he was sure I'd prefer.

Of course, one wants to believe that he

genuinely had my welfare at heart...

and that it wasn't

run by his brother-in-law.

One wants to trust

in general, don't you think?

But you never really know.

I met my husband the day

the fair came to town.

My girlfriend and I

went on the carousel.

Her horse was fine,

but when the ride started,

I felt mine give a little,

as if it might collapse.

And then suddenly, I felt

these arms around me,

and a voice in my ear said,

Just trust me, and I did.

Without question,

till the day he died.

How wonderful.

The sale of our flat

went through last week.

I had to sell it

to pay off Hugh's debts.

I've been forced to get a job out

here, which, in fact, I love.

Because even at Sonny's rates,

I couldn't make ends meet.

Not after what happened

to our life savings.

So, no, you're right.

You never know.

Off you go then.

Excuse me.

Off you go. Go home! Go, go!

But I've already filled this form in.

I've given it to you, many times.

There is a process.

You are making an inquiry, and for each

inquiry, a form must be filled in.

But it's the same inquiry

I make every day.

And, therefore,

the same form you must fill in.

Mrs. Ainslie.

How can you bear this country?

What do you see that I don't?

Oh, the light, colors.

Smiles.

And-

And the way people see life as a- as

a- as a privilege and-and not a right.

It-It teaches me something.

Is that milk pasteurized? Yes, ma'am.

Very, very pasturized.

But that's not true, is it?

You're lying to me just now because-

No, no. it'll be fine.

Thank you.

It was a pleasant surprise

to see you out and about.

Was it? Yes, yes.

it's progress, I think.

I was going to the bank.

To the bank.

Not that there's any reason to

think that something has changed,

but our daughter, Laura,

she did promise,

and one tries to remain

optimistic.

Otherwise-

Otherwise-

Actually, I wasn't going to the bank.

I was looking for you.

In fact, I think I've been looking

for you for a very long time.

Mrs. Ainslie.

Jean.

I'm gay.

As in... happy?

Yes, yes. Yes, of course.

I see. I see.

Thank you.

What for?

For averting

my complete humiliation.

As I said,

this country's driving me mad.

Shall we go?

Anything? Not yet.

- How about now?

- One second.

Oh!

- Good Lord!

- What?

Listen.

And now-

No drip!

Oh!

No drip! High five.

No, sorry. I don't know why I did that.

I've never done it before in my life.

Mrs. Ainslie.

Darling.

How are you?

Did you have a good day?

Well, let me tell you

about ours.

Your husband of many a year,

who's never known

which end of a hammer to use,

has finally managed-

We have to get out of here.

- What did you say?

- I can't stay in this country a moment longer.

Why? Excuse me.

Pick a reason. Pick ten.

The climate, the squalor.

The poverty.

This whole trip

is a grotesque fantasy.

- It's time we went home.

- Who's paying for the tickets?

Look at us. A group

of self-deluding old fossils...

traipsing around as if we're on some

bloody gap year, humiliating ourselves.

Not us. We couldn't pay.

And I don't see you asking our friends back home.

We should just face up to the truth.

That We're all old. We're all past it.

That's the real truth.

The raw, unvarnished fact of the matter.

All we're good for now

is a beige bloody bungalow.

With a sodding panic button

in the... sodding corner.

We just have to make

the best of things, darling.

I really think

that's the best thing to do.

Yes, well!

When I want your opinion,

I'll give it to you.

JJ:

Come on. Come on.

Pick up. Pick up.

Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.

Well, in that case,

thank you for your call.

I'll get back to you as soon as I've

discussed this with my manager.

Sunaina, I must see you.

I must. If I cannot hold you in my

arms tonight, I swear I will go mad.

I yearn for you.

I burn for you.

I think it's my sister you're

burning for there, Sonny boy.

Thank you, Jay. Thank you.

- Hey.

- Private line, Sunaina.

Do those words mean

nothing to you?

He took the phone.

What could I do?

I miss you.

I miss you every moment.

Come and see me. Tonight.

I cannot tonight.

It's our parents' 25th wedding anniversary.

- Tell your mother that.

- Come after. Come late.

You will be asleep.

No, I'll be waiting.

You'll be asleep.

But I can wake you up

in that special way.

- You'll sneak in?

- I'm not ashamed.

No, no, no. Neither am I.

Absolutely not.

There is no shame.

You don't have to sneak.

Although, if you did want to be

very quiet and not let anyone see,

it couldn't hurt.

Su- Sunaina?

I wanted

to tell you something.

Would you tell her

I was glad to come?

Glad she invited me.

Glad to meet her family-

her grandmother and her kids.

She asks

if you have children.

No, I looked after

somebody else's.

Just this one family.

Years I was with 'em.

I ran the house.

Looked after the money, did it all.

Uh- Cared for them

like they were my own.

One day, they decided

I needed some help.

I was grateful.

And they got this-

this young woman.

And I tried to teach her.

Not just the books.

How to crisp up the bacon, the way the

gentleman preferred it, you know.

And how the little one liked

to have her hair brushed.

Just, you know,

little things...

you only know

if you really care.

Well, I-

I must've done a good job.

'Cause they said I was

no longer useful to them.

They thanked me

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