The Best Man Page #9

to make him!

How am I gonna make him?

How am I gonna make him?

I don't know. Divine intervention.

I don't know!

Just get in there.

Be creative.

Divine intervention.

Hey, you can do this.

You have to.

Go.

Lance, please, don't do this.

You don't wanna do this. You

just need to breathe, relax.

Lance, hold on, man.

Will you hold up?

Please don't do this.

Ooh.

Mama, Daddy, I got something

I gotta tell you guys.

Wait! Lance, wait.

I gotta tell you something.

Lance! Pray!

...for one second.

What'd you say?

Pray.

You want me to beat

you down again, man?

Pray with me, brother.

What? What?

What is it? What is it?

I should've worn

my diamonds.

No, the pearls are perfect.

You look beautiful.

Lord, did I order

the right food? Yes.

Something's gonna

go wrong.

Hi.

Oh.

Uh...

Hi, Mia.

I'm, uh...

I'm Robin,

Harper's girlfriend.

Oh, Robin, yes! Hi!

How are you, my sister?

I'm fine,

but are you all right?

Because you

really look beautiful.

Oh, thank you. I'm fine.

I got jitters.

I mean, I know it sounds silly

but if this day isn't perfect...

Mia!

Honey, I have something

that I need to tell you.

And I think that

you might want

to sit down for this one.

I'm not...

Jordan, what is it?

I know that sometimes I'm really

nosy and I let my job consume me,

and I don't think sometimes.

And I know that this whole thing

is probably really my fault.

J, baby, you are scaring me.

Right. It's Lance.

The thing is...

He's running late, Mia.

I'm Robin.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, hi. Yeah.

Running late?

Great.

Uh, yeah. That's what

I came in here to tell you,

that he's just

running a little late.

But he's here now.

Right, Kendall?

I mean, Jordan.

He's here. We're just

trying to make sure...

And he knows how important

this day is for you.

Harper told me

all about last night.

The boys got a little wild

at the bachelor party.

Girl, please,

spare me the details.

I'm sure that they were on their

best behavior, Mia. I'm sure of it.

So we just have

a little CP time for now.

Yeah. CP.

Okay.

But they'll wait for you.

Yeah, they'll wait for me.

It's my day.

It's all good.

What scripture, man?

How about Exodus 20:14?

Exodus 20:
14. Cool.

"Thou shalt not...

"Thou shalt not

commit adultery."

Damn.

What's he reading?

Look, man,

I'm just trying to stop you

from making

a really big mistake.

By running up in my woman?

Is that what you want to hear?

I wanna hear the truth.

You don't want the...

All you want to hear is that

you're an amazing running back,

and that your

wife-to-be is perfect.

When the truth is

you could actually use

some work on

your lateral moves

and your short yardage.

And a long, long,

long time ago,

Mia slept with your best man.

I could've

killed you last night.

You know that, right?

I still could right now.

You could, man, but it

wouldn't change anything.

I made a terrible,

terrible mistake.

And I'm sorry, man.

I would give you my right arm...

F*** that.

You said yesterday, you said

yourself that you would forgive her.

So you calling me

a hypocrite now?

You're just not

being realistic.

This isn't the Bible.

This is the real world.

And Mia is as close to

perfection as you're gonna get.

So I guess you got

all the answers then, huh?

Everything is so

f***ing logical to you.

Lance, come on, man.

You're in a church.

The answers are f***ed wherever you are!

You can't control me, Harper.

I'm not one of

your little characters

in one of your

little stories, man!

You can't control

this outcome, Harper.

You know why?

Because you are not God.

That's reality, motherf***er!

That's f***ing reality.

Lance, listen to reason.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I knew.

I always knew in

the back of my mind

that she had been

with somebody else.

But never in a million lifetimes

would I think that you...

That you was gonna be that

self-serving, back-stabbing bastard.

You can hate me forever,

man.

But not Mia.

She loves you so much.

Man, you're staring your

ideal woman in the face.

You two were

made for each other.

You two fit together.

She's my Earth.

She's my queen.

I know.

Okay,

I'm gonna go get your tux.

Wait a minute, Harp.

I'm a Christian

so I have to forgive you,

but that doesn't mean

I have to like it.

Okay.

You better find a way to deal

with your issues, too, man.

Writing is not gonna

purge you completely,

so I suggest that you

acknowledge him, Harper.

Him who?

Oh, okay. Uh...

I feel you, but if I don't

get you into this tux...

You said that you would get me

over that broom no matter what.

Do you remember that?

I remember.

Then don't back your monkey

ass out on me right now.

You recognize his strength.

You respect it.

Recognize.

Ow, respect.

Okay.

Okay.

Here I am

Looking in the mirror

An open face

The pain erased

Now the sky is clearer

I can see the sun

Now that all is

All is said and done

There you are

Always strong when

I need you

You let me give

And now I live

Fearless and protected

With the one I will love

After all is

All is said and done

After all is

All is said and done

Dearly beloved, we are gathered

here today in the sight of God

to join this man and this

woman in holy matrimony.

The couple have written

their own wedding vows

that they will speak to each

other, and in front of you,

their family

and dear friends.

Mia?

"Lance, my friend

"my love, my hero.

"Loving you is my heart's joy.

"It teaches me to be faithful

to my personal truths.

"As I stand

beside you this day,

"I offer you

the very heart of me

"filled with sacred love

"pure, unconditional

and everlasting.

"For love bears all things,

"endures all things

and believes all things.

"Love never fails.

"And I do love you, Lance.

"Mind, body and soul."

"Mia,

"my darling, my love.

"As I stand here

beside you this day,

"know that there is

nothing greater than love.

"For God is love.

"And having faith in you

"and belief in our love

"makes life worth living.

"And as I stare...

"As I stare upon

your angelic face,

"I am made whole today,

a man with a higher purpose.

"For a woman's virtue

is a man's greatest glory.

"From this day forth,

"we should love one another

as God loves us."

The rings, please.

By the power vested in me,

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

Please, kiss your bride.

Mia gave me too much credit

for this union.

I have learned from them

what it means to be truly

committed to another person.

I have learned the importance

of seizing the moment.

Because you can't go back.

You can never go back.

You have to live for today.

Not for what was

or could have been.

And what will be,

no one can say.

But sometimes,

you just have

to step out on faith.

And believe that

what you have built together

is worth preserving.

Because when you're

made for each other as much

as these two are,

it's definitely,

definitely worth preserving.

So to the bride and groom.

Lance and Mia,

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