The Best Man Page #8

Book? Negative.

Smile, daddy,

it's a bachelor party.

You f***ed Mia!

Holy sh*t!

Yo, yo, yo!

What the f*** you doing, man?

It's a fight!

What you doing, man? Sh*t!

It's just a book! Chill, man.

No, no, no!

Watch out, watch out.

Man, you gonna hurt that kid.

"Kissed on the frontal lobe"? I

know what that f***ing sh*t means!

You're supposed to be my boy,

motherf***er!

Get up, bro.

Oh, my God!

What's the matter?

Oh, my God!

Oh, that fool about to fall.

Oh, my God!

Oh, um...

Don't leave, okay?

I'll get you home. I'll pay for your time.

Just don't leave.

You're reading too far...

I know how to read

between the lines.

Oh, my God!

Now you want God, huh?

Ain't that a b*tch?

Yo, L, baby.

Tell him.

What you want, man?

Please.

You really

gonna do this?

Hell, yeah,

I'm gonna do this sh*t.

No, you ain't.

You're gonna marry you a

beautiful woman tomorrow.

A girl that loves you,

that has only loved you.

Oh, my God.

You ain't throwing all that away.

Listen to him. He's right.

Listen to Q, Lance.

Shut the f*** up!

Okay.

Listen, man. We know that

Harper's a b*tch-ass.

But this cat is your man,

100 grand.

He wouldn't do

that to you, man.

Karma don't come

back that strong.

He's right.

Q wouldn't lie.

Even about you

being a b*tch-ass?

Especially about me being a b*tch-ass.

Especially that.

God don't want this, L.

He don't want this. Pull him up.

Please.

Pull him up.

Damn.

The motherfucking

wedding is off.

Get the f*** out of here.

Please, please, Lance...

Go to hell, man.

Go to f***ing hell.

Lance.

Lance.

Lance.

Harper, what happened?

Harp!

Damn!

Just a second.

Jordan, Jordan.

All right, girlfriend,

get it together.

You are really destroying

the groove up in here.

Sorry.

You look nice.

Gee, thanks.

So Lance figured it out, didn't he?

Yeah.

He figured it out,

promptly beat my ass

and called off the wedding.

What?

Yeah.

Was he serious?

I don't know.

Well, he was drunk.

I don't know.

Do you want me

to get you anything?

You've done enough.

You've done enough. You don't

seem to understand something.

They would be in marital

bliss by the time

the book was supposed

to have come out.

But thanks to you,

"Miss I Want An Exclusive,"

I got my ass whupped.

I almost got thrown from a f***ing

building because of your ass.

So thank you, Jordan.

Thank you!

And what the f***

is that smell?

Whoo!

You got some nerve, blaming me

for your skeletons, mister.

Jordan...

No, I'm not done, Harper.

You wrote the book.

You aired your dirty laundry.

No matter how hard you tried

to disguise it, it was you!

You got me all fired up

saying that my life was empty

and that we could've

been great together.

That was you, okay?

Not me. You.

Okay.

Okay. I'm sorry.

I know we're both

a little emotional here.

I'm sorry.

We're peas in a pod, remember?

You know, maybe if I had the

luxury of getting my ass whupped,

I could be calm right now.

But I have been

drinking tequila shots.

My hormones are

raging out of control.

I'm emotional! I'm horny!

And I don't want to hear

about no goddamn peas!

F*** you! Good night!

How about that?

Can we at least

hold each other?

Ouch.

Welcome to

New York La Guardia Airport.

Baggage claim

and ground transportation

are located on

the lower level.

Morning!

You look so handsome.

Don't worry.

I'm not wearing this.

I just didn't want to get my

dress wrinkled on the plane.

You think I can

change at the church?

Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm cool.

Come on, let's get going.

I sat next to the cutest

little girl on the plane.

She was just

talking my ear off.

And she sang me this song.

I can't...

Harper, come on.

Harper,

what's wrong with you?

What's wrong, baby?

Harper.

Urn...

Oh.

It's okay.

Come on, baby.

Come on, get up.

Tell me what happened.

It's all right.

Did you sleep with her?

No.

But you were going to.

You wanted to.

I am so disappointed in you.

I know you feel like sh*t now,

but I'm not gonna lie to you.

You compromised yourself, our

relationship and Lance and Mia's.

I know.

I know.

I'm glad you told me.

At least now I know

where I stand with you.

No, baby. You know that is not true.

Don't!

I may not be perfect,

but I'm strong.

I hope you can make this right.

The wedding starts soon.

How?

I've been looking all over for

Lance, and I cannot find him.

And even if I was to find him,

how am I supposed to

convince him to get married?

I don't know. That's your bag.

I have a plane to catch.

Wait, Robin.

What are you doing?

Robin.

Robin.

Robin.

Get off me!

I need you!

I cannot do this alone.

Please don't leave me now.

Okay, I'll go with you.

I owe it to myself

to see what's been

holding you back

from me all this time.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Come on.

Oh, man.

Uh-Oh.

Handle your business, baby.

Handle it.

Shelby, I have something...

Julian,

before you say anything,

I just want you

to know that I forgive you.

You do?

Yes.

I know now that you

were just succumbing

to that testosterone

peer pressure.

You wanted to be

with me last night

and it ate you up

that you couldn't.

It just made sense that you

should continue to suffer

and think about the jeopardy that

you put our relationship through

rather than let you

have your way.

Shel, I have...

We're out of time.

Whatever it is, I'm sure it

can wait until the reception.

You better get inside.

Oh.

Candace, I'm so glad

you could make it!

You look great.

Oh. Uh...

Candace, this is Shelby.

Shelby, Candace.

It's nice to meet you.

How are you doing?

I'm so sure.

So, um,

shall I just sit anywhere?

Uh, sure, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Thanks, Julian.

No, thank you.

Who was that pop tart?

Shelby, it's over.

I am not the man for you and

you are not the woman for me,

so let's just stop

fooling ourselves.

I hope you find what

you're looking for,

because that's

exactly what I plan to do.

I have to go. Bye, Shelby.

Don't you think you

ought to pick that up?

What?

Your bottom jaw.

Q. Oh, morning, Shelby.

Oh, go to hell!

I'll probably

see you there.

Where's Lance?

Oh! I was just gonna ask

you the same thing.

I'm sorry.

Robin, Quentin.

How you doing?

Hi.

Quentin, Robin.

Hi. You must be Robin.

Hi. My pleasure.

This is Murch.

This idiot don't know

where Lance is. What?

Uh, that's not good. Not good at all.

What are we gonna do?

- I don't know.

- Something?

You're not helping.

You need to figure

something out.

I'm under stress here.

It's your fault that

all this stuff happened.

What have you

been doing?

Lance. Lance! Hey!

I told you fools

the wedding is off.

I just came to tell my parents

face to face that I'm out.

You ain't doing that.

Shut the f*** up.

That bullshit ain't

working today.

Lance, brother. This isn't...

Why are you even here, man?

You got nothing

to say to me.

Yo, L.

Yo, L.

He wouldn't even look at me.

Yeah, but you have

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