The Best of Times Page #5

Yeah!

Right!

Reno, you're going

to play ball again.

Who said anybody

was replaying anything?

Rosie, tell them

this is all unnecessary.

Actually, I'd like

to have my honor defended.

Yeah!

Jack, is it too late

to get the game on?

Geez, I don't know.

Ask Mr. Hightower.

God damn it.

Let's kill Bakersfield!

If I ever find who

did this, I'll kill him!

Land of hope and glory

'neath the azure skies

where our friendships are welded

ever bonded our ties.

Getting in shape isn't enough.

To remake history,

we need an edge.

We don't need an edge,

we need an offensive line.

We need Felipe, Mando,

Bam Bam, Dickie Larue!

Felipe!

Bam Bam!

Mando. Mando.

Bam Bam. Bam Bam!

Dickie Larue!

Return to the scene

of their greatest triumphs.

Ready!

Set!

Hut!

Hut! Hut!

0ur offensive line sounds

like a tuberculosis ward.

We got to get scientific.

- What do you mean?

- Aerobics.

What?

1... 2... 3... 4...

And 1... 2... 3... 4...

and 1...

Get those legs up there, girls.

Yes!

Now dessert!

Well, what do you think?

I think it's pathetic.

Makes a grown man want to cry.

We gotta get back to fundamentals.

- No sh*t.

- How do we do that?

Men, this is the play book.

There's more than 200 plays in here.

Learn every damn one.

What kind of offense

will Taft run?

0ffense? They're probably

drawing plays in the dirt.

Eddie, this pebble is you.

Chico, you're the bottle cap.

Run a post to this piece of glass.

I thought I was the glass.

You're the twig, damn it!

Twig.

Just go long.

0K. On 4.

Ready? Break!

# Land of hope and glory #

# 'neath the azure skies #

# where our friendships

are welded #

# ever bonded our ties #

# where the derricks run skyward #

# and our spirits run free #

# in the valley so fertile #

# always hail to thee #

# Land of our Alma mater

always hail to thee #

# Land of our Alma mater

always hail to thee #

BIG RE0PENING S00N

Gigi, they've all gone crazy.

Sometimes I think Reno never

knew how to get through to me.

Gigi, I know you're inside.

I want to talk.

Honey?

0K, honey, just listen

to me and... remember.

God.

# Why do birds suddenly appear... #

This is low.

What a cheap shot.

#... every time you are near #

# Just like me they like to be... #

Gigi, we got to get you out of here.

# Why do stars fall down

from the sky #

# every time you walk by #

This way.

0ut the window.

Come on. Shh.

# Close to you #

# on the day that you were

born the angels got together #

# and decided to create

a dream come true #

Careful.

Let's get out of here.

#... hair of gold and

starlight in your eyes of blue #

tiddle-um, tiddle-um.

Look at all that phony,

virile, pseudo-macho posing.

Yeah.

They look great.

Yeah.

Maybe we've been too rough on them.

I know you don't want to se Reno.

Maybe I could ask Jack to dinner.

Just to talk, of course.

You caving in?

No! There'd be very

strict ground rules.

What kind of ground rules?

We shouldn't have trouble

with the ground rules.

What ground rules?

There's two things

we can't talk about.

What?

Football and sex.

0h...

Jesus, what will we talk about?

What are we going to talk about?

Steer clear of anything personal.

Don't make it too hard on them.

What if they pass

the Monday-night test?

Then we can get personal.

I'm not getting personal.

I don't care how good they look.

How do I look?

You look hot.

I look like a dork.

You look hot.

What are we going to talk about?

What are we going to talk about?

Go with the flow.

If things go well,

the old magical glow

could kick in...

we might even score.

We got to be careful.

Right, careful.

With a hint of reckless.

They like that.

Women and the game.

We could have it all.

I want my wife back.

Don't screw this up.

Hey, me?

I'm in control.

Hey, dad.

Teddy.

- Hi, Mr. Dundee.

- Hi, boys.

We didn't think

you'd show up tonight.

Why not?

It's Monday night.

Atlanta-Minnesota.

My god!

Monday Night Football.

They scheduled it

on Monday night on purpose.

Atlanta and Minnesota have

lost 17 straight games between them.

Even we don't want to watch them.

- Hi, dad.

- Hey, Jaki.

She's glad you came.

Tell her I love her.

D00RBELL 0UT 0F 0RDER

[plays Alma mater]

What are we going

to talk about again?

It doesn't matter.

Do not take sides at all costs.

No arguments.

Be bland and be strong.

Bland and strong.

- Hello.

- Hi.

It smells super.

The food.

Better than super.

It's really, really super.

That's sweet of you.

Yeah. Thanks.

We've got a lot to talk about.

Where do we start?

We thought maybe we could

talk about, for example, the world.

Just for starters.

I just can't get a

handle on the middle east.

It's a swamp.

A real mess.

Don't you think so?

Yeah, it's a swamp.

You think, honey?

Th... that it's a swamp?

Hey, absolutely.

I thought so.

It's probably too complex

to talk about over dinner.

You know, there's

always the nuclear question.

Since Taft's the

safest city in America...

I think that whole

area is another swamp, too.

But a very complex one,

a swamp with many levels

of political overtones

that can't be fathomed

at the present time,

but needs the distance of the future

to give it a perspective

so you can truly

have a point of view

and realize viscosity

of that quagmire.

And the only way to understand this

is to realize it's incomprehensible.

It's like at the shop.

We're chopping up a caprice,

taking the dings out of a nova.

I've had too much wine.

Excuse me.

Doing good.

Just tie it together.

[Urinating]

How about acid rain, huh?

So what have you guys been up to?

Busy, you know.

Busy.

Just really busy, I bet.

- Really.

- Yeah.

[Clearing throat]

No score.

What?

My throat's sore.

I'm going to have to

use the little boy's room, too.

Acid rain.

You got it.

That's a swamp, too.

With that acidity, normal

swamp creatures can't flourish.

They need salinity to survive.

Now what is the swamp?

What Jack was talking about.

[Bell rings]

That's dessert.

- I'll get it.

- Let's go together.

Reno hasn't looked

this good in years.

Have I been drinking too

much or does Jack look sexy?

No! They're both hot.

They're so

god damn well-behaved.

They're afraid to

open their mouths.

They don't even know

it's Monday night.

See? I told you.

We can have it all.

The women and the game.

Turn it off.

Fumble!

- Vikes' ball.

- It's Atlanta's ball.

- Vikes' ball.

- Look, it's Atlanta's ball.

Where are you studs?

Get in the bathroom.

I'll cover for you.

- Women and the game.

- Turn it off, Jack.

Guess who's in the bathroom again?

Is something wrong with the wine?

No. It's super.

It's running right through us.

It's good.

Hey, how about Beirut, huh?

What do you know about Beirut?

He da bes' damn baseball

player ebber live!

That's so funny!

Isn't that great?

0h... let's face it.

We don't have to talk

about important issues tonight.

We can talk about life.

Yeah, what the hell.

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