The Best Thief in the World Page #4

He got something f***ed-up

in his psychology.

Got them big,

brass cojones, huh, iz?

Yo, Izzy, tell them about

that thing you do, man.

What thing?

Nothing.

Yo, me and my man, we breaking

into people's apart...

sh*t, rob!

Let's go!

Nah, i ain't doing it.

There's too many people.

Come on, cojones.

No.

Why not?

We can make money.

Special pattern to it

so i don't get caught

that i can't f*** with.

Yo, b*tch,

come on!

I'm not going,

you motherfucking b*tch.

You guys aren't all

gonna stand outside

looking suspicious,

are you?

Come on, man.

We ain't stupid.

[Rings doorbell]

Man:

Yes? Yes? Yes?

Sorry, wrong apartment.

Oh, man! Oh, man!

Oh, man! Oh, man!

Might as well

steal off robbie.

Man, get off me!

[Rings doorbell]

[Rings doorbell]

Yeah!

Come on!

Yo!

Shh!

Trying to be cool,

man.

Gotta split up.

You're gonna get me caught.

Relax, iz.

We're just

visiting friends, right?

It's hot up in here.

It's apartment 53.

Don't wait in a group

outside, okay?

Relax, man.

We got you.

[Both grunting]

[Glass shattering]

Shh.

Wait.

Did you hear that?

[Breathlessly]

What?

I think

i heard something.

Go.

Go!

[Clears throat]

What's wrong?

Oh, my...

ah, yeah.

Hello, police?

[Whistles]

If you believe me

and let me off,

you'll have a friend

for life.

I'll never forget you.

What was his story?

He claims that a gang

was chasing him

and, in an attempt to get away,

without thinking,

he climbs

down the fire escape,

and breaks into what he thinks

is his friend's house.

Well, wasn't

the window locked?

It all happened

so fast.

Look, you have to believe me.

I need you to understand.

It's gonna kill my mom.

I can't imagine

hurting her this much.

Also, he claims that his

father's paralyzed

and has some sort

of brain damage

and his mom's crazy

and hanging on by a thread.

Look, i'll introduce you

to them...

whatever you want.

Just don't turn me in.

Yeah, i mean,

what do you think, harry?

I mean, it doesn't make any

difference to me either way.

He's lying, mary.

He's a pathological liar.

I think he's really sick.

Let the cops deal

with his family

if they are that crazy.

They're probably fine.

[Doorbell rings,

knocking on door]

I know

where you live.

Dice:

Yo, she was naked?

Edwin:

[Laughing] yes.

Top and bottom?

Yeah, man,

and she was sweaty.

Yo, was that guy's cock

still hard, "b"?

Yo, son,

you a f*ggot, man.

You can have

the rest of that.

F*** you, "b."

That's the sh*t

i want to know.

That's the real

gritty sh*t.

That's just the way

society is these days, "b."

That's what people

want to know.

I feel you.

Sue:

I hate the police.

You know

how i hate those people.

Hey, mom,

what's for dinner?

Not now.

Go away.

I'm really sorry, mom.

Is it me?

Am i doing something wrong

as your mother?

No, mom.

It's not you.

Well, then,

what is it?

Because i'm trying

everything i can think of

but i feel like

i'm losing you.

You're not.

Well, then, what am i

supposed to think? Tell me.

Am i supposed to pretend

like i don't see

all the sh*t

that you're up to?

What sh*t?

I don't know

if i'm ever gonna be able

to trust you again!

Would you trust you

if you were me?

Just speak up, man!

I don't know.

Just... f*** you

with the tortured sh*t.

I'll shove that tortured sh*t

right up your ass.

Listen to me.

I'll be damned

if i'm gonna

let you

destroy yourself.

Don't do it, izak.

Please don't do it.

It's more than

my poor heart can take.

You know

i'm good, mom.

I'm good.

Oh!

Oh, jesus.

I can't take this sh*t.

Amy:
So,

what are you gonna do?

Shut up.

[Sighs]

Mom, why don't you believe me

when i say i'm sorry?

I really am.

'Cause it's manipulative,

sappy sh*t.

["We three" plays]

It's words, honey.

You don't even know how you

try and manipulate people.

You're very intelligent,

and it makes you dangerous.

I'm just worried

about you, you know?

You're gonna wind up

dead or in prison

before you get laid

at the rate you're going.

That won't happen, mom.

I promise.

I love you too much

to hurt you that way.

Jesus.

You don't even see it,

do you?

How do you know

i haven't been laid already?

You wouldn't know

what to do with it,

you stupid, little sh*t.

You're so young.

Moms know a lot more

than you give us credit for.

[Exhales sharply]

This is

my favorite song.

Do you like

this song?

and you began to cry

so recklessly

baby, please

don't take my hope

away from me

you say you want me

i want another, baby

you say you wish for me

hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

[Rapping indistinctly]

[Rapping]

yeah

what you know

about ice like freezing rain?

... 15 about to

freeze the game

i'm stacking these ones,

you can keep the change

got my own private jet,

you can keep the...

i flow money,

so get out your checkbook

i'm not like him or her,

i got the next look

i flow so different,

similar to nada

[rapping indistinctly]

6'4"...interior seat

matching her pradas

6'4"...exterior doors

matching my...

going to

red-carpet interviews

cameras go...

as they follow

... make you want to eat

the shocks on your impala

[rapping indistinctly]

everyday fresh

when they see me

young "g" sick with it

can't bang with me

fly babies, come on,

sing with me, man

bad boys... hot

from my town to your town

from new york

to cali streets

bad boys... hot

from the crib, baby

you know these joints rock

to the... baby,

to the club, baby

bad boys... hot

from my town to your town

bad boys... hot

from new york

to cali streets

from the crib, baby

you know these joints rock

to the... baby,

to the club, baby

mommy on a yacht

pretty shoes, toes out

wife beater, white sneakers,

blue and yellow stones out

and she was...

and she keep her...

getting money and out

the hood's my only route

same party...

[rapping indistinctly]

mommy in the zone

oh, watch, she get it up

i stop till dawn

i'm gonna be gone...

what's with this shorty?

Let me see...

a true superstar

like a don in slippers

my competition sweet

as lucky charms and snickers

i been released on a jet,

taken for a trip

... on the palm tree...

northeast embrace me,

in... they love me

midwest, they swing,

and out west, they chase me

bad boys... hot

from my town to your town

from new york

to cali streets

the senate is expected

to pass the bill

in the next week or so.

The house has passed

its own version...

[sam speaking indistinctly]

The voting-rights activists

fear the provision

could end up

in the final agreement

if... is eventually reached.

At city hall,

voting-rights advocate

stood outside city hall

blasting proposed federal...

sam:
I'm gonna rip off

your head with my bare hands

and sh*t down your neck,

you low-life scum.

... driver's license,

either when they register

or when they go to vote.

Hey, Izzy...

want to play

with me?

No, leave me alone.

... their signatures

when they vote.

But the city board

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