The Bet

---

Reverse Egyptian suplex!

Reverse Egyptian suplex!

He's going for the pin!

-One!

-Two!

-Three!

THE BE -And it's all over!

THE BE -What an absolute war that was!

THE BE -Okay wrestling fans,

THE BE -it's time for the main event.

After years of heartbreak,

unfulfilled dreams and

shattered confidence, this

young man will finally

have one last shot

at the world title.

Does he have any chance?

If you ask this announcer,

he's f***ed.

Dude, thanks for bogarting

all these sweet wrestling

DVDs from work.

Yeah dude.

I'd rather you have them

than see them getting

thrown out when

the store closes.

Keep an

eye on dad tonight.

He hasn't been the same since

we moved into the garage.

No problem.

Good luck on your date.

Maybe she'll let you

sniff her butthole.

It's just dinner, dude.

Hey Mr. B, what you

working on over there?

Completing the

perfect woman.

I look forward

to meeting her.

I already got started,

I hope you don't mind.

Just need to get my

drink on tonight.

Well I get getting your

drink on this evening.

This is a really beautiful

place you picked.

I am starving. I mean

I could eat a horse.

That's funny.

Let's see do they have horse,

I'm checking.

No, no! They have 30

dollar soup though.

So, I feel like I've

been totally talking

your face off about me.

No.

Tell me more about you.

I...

work at a video store.

People still rent movies?

Well, no actually.

That's kind of

the problem.

I dunno, I think it's kind of

sad that people don't go

to video stores anymore.

It's kind of an Americana

kind of, sort of thing.

I dunno. Going...

Brandon?

No, I'm Denton.

Shaniqua?

Danielle!

Holy sh*t, I don't care.

Come here, come here.

So good to see you!

-You look f***ing amazing.

-Thank you.

-Hey, Brandon, this is Denton.

-Denton!

On a date with

a real girl?

Good for you, buddy.

It's just kind of like a

blind date sort of thing.

It's going bad.

I'm right here.

I figured as much.

Hey, you know what, I made

some improvements to the

old choo-choo train, if

you want to, come.

For like a ride, you know.

Meet me in the parking lot.

That a girl.

Okay so, thank you so much

this has been really great.

- Yeah.

- And yeah.

Good luck with the whole

video store job thingy.

-Thank you.

-Okay, bye!

Hey, cancel my drink?

Later, Denton!

Whenever you're

ready, chief.

It's all over folks!

He f***ed that one up!

That was awesome.

Dad.

Come on, come on.

Let's go to bed?

Come on, let's go to bed.

So, how was the big date?

It was not good.

It was not, in fact,

it was pretty terrible.

Well, life is a

series of miserable dates.

Terrific.

Now Batting, Jackson Price.

I got one.

Kendra McNulty.

Kendra McNulty.

She was fine and she

would've got that root.

That was a God damn ball!

Those fucks paid

off the ump again.

Ed, stat me.

Well according to this,

"Dyke Piazza," you're 0 and 4

for the entire day, so it

looks like all that money

you spent on glare

protection is really

working out for you.

Bullshit!

What the hell is this?

It's a list of all

the hottest girls

we went to school with.

Kendra McNulty?

Please.

You want to talk about

fine middle school puss?

Hayley Matthews.

Yeah.

Hayley Matthews, yo, that

was the first girl in our

grade to have sex, right?

Hell yeah. She sucked

off Danny Clarke

on the 8th grade

field trip.

No, that was

Mikey Milligan.

How do you know?

'Cause I was sitting

in between them.

She leaned over your

dick to suck his?

Oof.

I cannot believe you

let her do a flyover.

Next time a girl

tries to do that?

Air pocket.

Bring her down.

If I could do it all over

again, I would have a

vault of vag to dive into.

They would call

me Scrooge McFuck.

I literally don't think

anyone would call you that.

A couple people might.

You guys talking

Duck Tales?

Wait, apologies for getting you

wet with a cartoon analogy.

But can you please

not interrupt serious

conversations about p*ssy?

Hey Denton, what

do you think?

You wanna send one of your

ladies out here so we can

end this and go home?

I got hot yoga!

I want him dead.

Wiggins, get up there and

smash the ball down that

motherf***er's throat.

Will do, coach.

Here we go.

Do it, Ken Spiffy Junior.

Two for two.

Good hustle, good hustle,

Wiggins.

Good hustle.

Dropping dimes, Brandon.

Now batting, Wiggins.

Come on dude, really?

You're gonna text

during the game?

It's called sexting

you f***ing nerd.

Yeah?

Is it pre-paid?

No. It's unlimited

like your mom.

-Strike!

-Sh*t!

Jackson, you

gotta chill dude.

Have you forgotten?

When old man Lucas shuts

down the video store,

our team goes with it.

Look at that old

f*** out there.

Rubbing our faces

in his sh*t.

Our faces right

in his sh*t!

Eddie, honey.

I just finished my work

out, but I'm going to go

pick up a six pack.

We're still watching the

game tonight, right?

Absolutely, baby.

-Alright.

-Alright, see you tonight.

Love you!

I would totally

go big on your wife.

Strike three!

Goin' down swinging,

like your girlfriend

on my dick last night.

Joke's on you, I don't

have a girlfriend.

Horribly embarrassing.

Bring it in.

You guys suck dick.

F*** you, f*** you, f*** you,

f*** you, madam, f*** you...

You so want to bone her.

Always have.

Always will.

Hey.

You checking out my

mom's ass, perverts?

-Yeah.

-No.

I thought that was

your step mom's ass.

F*** you, Jackson.

You f***ing Ewok.

By the way, I saw

your game today.

0 for 4, nice.

What's this?

Hand that to me.

You're making a list of

all the girls you wish you

f***ed in school.

That's hilarious, 'cause I

have a list of girls I did

f*** in school.

Serge here's seen it.

It's a big f***in' list!

Hey, Denton could f***

every girl on that list.

Let the man speak.

So you think Denton could get

through this whole list?

Every name? Could you

do that, Denton?

I didn't say anything,

I... maybe her.

God, I smell a

bet coming on.

I wish any of you f***ers

had anything of value.

Anything.

I'd drain you for

every penny.

In the meantime, we've

got a train to catch.

Enjoy tickling each

others' pussies, ladies.

P*ssy!

Woo woo!

This place is jumping.

How do you have

any movies left?

What's up guys,

how you doing?

Good, we're just doing some

man stuff around the corner.

Figured we'd stop

by, say what's up.

'Sup.

We still on for

Taco Tuesdays?

God, yes, please.

Nice. Any chance we can

push that up a little bit?

I have a training

sesh at night.

A training "sesh?"

Yeah, it's short for session.

Okay.

Who you training tonight?

I haven't decided yet.

Hi! Hey, how's it going.

How's it going?

Yeah.

Why don't you smell that.

Smell it.

What does that

smell like to you?

Kind of like an envelope.

It smells like a

sweaty a**hole.

Here, try this one.

Dude, all of your movies

smell like a f***in' a**hole.

-Smells like a butthole.

-Really, I...

Now my player smells

like a f***in' a**hole.

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