The Bet Page #2

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You guys sitting

on this sh*t?

Delivery for Lucas

Gourmet Condoms.

You know what,

actually that goes across

the street to the

company over there.

They're not getting stuff here

'til the end of the summer.

Those f***ers are getting

packages here already?

I don't give two shits.

This is what it

says on the package,

this is where

I'm dropping it.

Hey, why don't you

smell this thing?

What does that

smell like to you?

Smells like...

wet dirty a**holes.

What the f*** are

you guys doing here?

Denton, what's up?

Hi, Br...

Denise.

That was close,

you almost had it.

Sorry, you guys are

actually already having

packages delivered

to the video store.

Sorry.

Denise!

One second.

Okay, I'll

send him back.

Hey!

Yes?

Mr. Lucas wants

to see you.

He's in Brandon's office.

Okay, just right

around the corner.

H-how does

he know I'm here?

'Cause they're watching,

and you have your Taco

Tuesday with your friends

later at La Cabaa.

H-how did you know that?

Good luck with

the old man, okay?

It'll be fine.

Hey!

Denton!

What's up, man?

I meant to say

congratulations

on f***ing Danielle.

That's awesome.

I didn't, I didn't.

I'm sorry, wait, wait.

That was me.

I f***ed her. Twice.

We filmed it, actually.

What was the

movie called?

"The Great

Train Blowjobbery."

Gimme all your cum, man!

Did Danielle know you

that you were filming her?

What are you,

f***ing stupid?

Like we asked

permission to film her?

Train porno.

It's the world's

fastest growing fetish.

We're the Lucas and

Sergeberg of the genre.

"Shagheart Express,"

"Missionary:
Possible,"

"Me Hard On The

Orient Express."

"Trains, Planes, and

Cock Is Your Meal."

F***ing classics, bro.

Amen, sister.

Tell him Mr. Lucas

said "f*** you!"

Denton.

I'm glad you came by.

It's a big day, man.

After my groundbreaking

career in the flavored

jimmy biz, I'll be retiring

at the end of the summer.

So Brandon's you're new

point person in regards to

the takeover.

Now I want my product in

that bullshit video store

within ninety days.

Yes, sir.

We've started our move out and

we will be out on time.

You damn well better.

You know, you should've just

closed that shithole today.

I mean, what the hell have

you wasted your whole damn

life for in there?

Well it means

something to me, sir.

I can remember all of the

best times growing up

going to that video

store and...

I made all my best

friends there.

And I know people don't rent

at a video store anymore.

I know that's kinda in the past,

but it's made me who I am.

A huge p*ssy.

Sh*t!

Hit him with the low, dog.

Alright, alright. Son, you're

either born a loser or a winner.

Take Brandon here.

The day his momma sh*t him

out of her vag hole...

God rest her soul.

He hit the ground a winner.

Now, Serge on

the other hand.

I'm a real f*** up.

Well, let me tell

you what success is.

You see, I wake up in the

morning, I slam me down a

Red Bull and some vodka.

Go clubbing with

some young poon.

Take me some viagras.

And at the end of the

night, I squeeze me some

of the finest little young

tatas money can buy.

They're very big.

You see, I can

smells success.

Just like the

old man?

Not a friggin'

wiff of it on you.

You know what?

Give these to

your old man.

That's barbeque flavor,

that's his favorite.

Give him something.

Anything.

As far as you two, don't forget,

promotional party tonight.

Peppermint Zebra.

First lap dance is on me.

Yeah, daddy!

The second lap

dance is on me, too!

Honey, it's 1 o'clock.

It's time for our

couples' mani-pedi.

Hi, Denton.

Hi, Kirsten.

Hey, it's Mrs.

Lucas to you.

Mhm.

Mani-pedi headache

here we go.

Woo!

Baker!

Where the f*** you

think you're going?

Sit down.

Are you done

being mean to me?

I got a present for you.

It's a go, b*tch.

You tell your little butt

buddies at that stupid

video store that the CEO

of Lucas' Gourmet Condoms

signed off on everything.

Rosenburg drew

it up in legal.

He's a Jew so I assume it's

binding and everything.

You know?

I'm gonna watch you fail

and I'm gonna love every

second of it.

Every damn second of it.

Is that...

Did you...

Can I go now?

Get the f*** out of here.

Let's the game begin.

-Cocksmoker!

-Better.

What the hell is this?

There he is!

That you, lucky

motherf***er, is a legal

and binding document.

That's right. Me and Jackson sat

down with Lucas' legal team

this morning and hammered

out all the details.

I have to sleep with

twelve girls this summer

or the Lucas'

get my house?

Well, you're renting your

house to that a**hole, Bob.

Technically, you

live in the garage.

What are you guys

lawyers now?

Well I actually had a lawyer

look over the details.

Hello! Offices of

Charles McDee.

And he may or may

not be my uncle.

A contract?

Yeah, yeah.

You good, man.

You're good.

But don't worry, man.

We did all the

legwork for you.

My god.

That, my friend, is nine

of your school crushes.

You actually picked out

most of them yourself.

Wait, what are the

two empty slots for?

You get to pick the

two wild card b*tches.

That's right. As long as we

can prove you went to school

with them, you can decide

whoever you want.

Well now I think it's time

for a celebratory shake.

-Gentlemen? Yeah?

-No.

100% alright.

Thanks though.

What the f***'s

going on here?

-Sorry, Bob.

-Sorry, Bob.

Sorry is right, you

sorry motherfuckers.

What's those white b*tches

doing on the wall?

These are all the girls that

Denton went to school with?

Yeah, he's

gonna f*** them.

He's gonna f*** them?

That guy is going

to f*** them?

He's going to get f***ed?

You don't necessarily have to

sleep with them so you know.

No, you just

gotta bust a fat nut.

It doesn't matter how.

Handy, beej,

missionary.

Old country,

doggie, bukkake.

Gang bang, facial, 69.

Cum dump truck,

shitty kitty.

Yo, I like that one.

Shitty kitty,

shitty kitty.

Or Siberian jizzsicle.

You know what I like?

F***ing Nigerian

cocksicle.

That's what I like.

The drill this sh*t out of

your big dry f***ing asses.

-Bye, Bob.

-Bye, Bob.

-Thanks.

-F*** you.

That's right. We just need

to have solid evidence

of each hookup.

Guys, I can't do this.

This is your chance, D.

Your biological cock

is ticking, man.

Dude, if you do this, you

get 100% of the Lucas

Gourmet Condom company.

You get everything.

All associated

properties and holdings.

The video store stays open

and we can still play ball.

Can't lose the team, D.

Jackson might

kill himself.

And after what Mr.

Lucas did to your dad.

Think about it.

Hey, champ.

Hey, Mr. Blossy.

How you doing?

-Hey, kid.

-Hi.

Is your dad home?

Nope.

Don't think he's, no.

Is everything okay?

No, no.

Your dad's been stealing

my son's Legos.

What?

Are you sure?

I've been picking

them up all day.

Legos.

From my house

to your house.

He's...

He's had a rough go of it.

Well I think he's

getting worse.

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