The Better Half Page #7

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overbearing mom behavior.

[laughs]

You know what?

You were exceptional at stomping

his nuts with 5-inch heels.

[laughs]

- We make a pretty good team.

- Yeah.

I hate to say it, but I wish

that you would have fallen

out of a window sooner.

Apparently I needed a good

knock on the head.

Yeah.

I love you so much, Em.

I love you too, Mom.

all:
[chanting]

Fire, fire, fire, fire!

Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire!

[fuse hissing]

[popping]

[cheering]

[popping]

[boom]

[crackling]

[boom]

- What was that?

- I don't know.

- Everybody out, now!

- Come on.

Come on, get up.

We got to go.

Calista, come here.

Calista, look.

Pretty.

[beeping]

Cali, the house is on fire.

We have to get out of here.

But our time is up, Calista.

[gasps]

[fire crackling]

[alarm rings]

- Uncuff me, quick.

- Uh.

- Come on.

- Uh, I don't have the key.

Uh.

[alarm ringing]

[grunts]

It's hopeless.

[grunts]

[ping]

[snap]

Come on, let's go.

Ow.

Where's Mom?

I don't... I don't know.

She was right behind me.

[glass shatters]

Oh.

[coughing]

[fire crackling]

[gasping]

[glass shattering]

[gasping]

Oh.

Do something, Gwen.

There's nothing I can do.

We're all out of pokes.

[siren wailing]

I will be

Your hero

I will be

Your hero

I will be

Your hero

What the hell?

Dalton, Emily, you okay?

Dad, I think Mom's

still trapped inside.

All right, get this

fire under control.

[fire crackling]

I'm reporting to you live

from the scene

of a major house fire

where the captain himself

has just entered

the blazing inferno to save

someone trapped inside.

- I didn't do it.

- I know you didn't.

- Help them, please.

- I can't.

They're on their own now.

[fire crackling]

[fire crackling]

Oh.

Oh.

[gentle eerie music]

Wow.

That was quite an exit.

It was time to go.

Thank you

for giving me a chance

to make things right

with my family.

Um, what happened to Cali?

You don't know?

She's with me.

[laughs, snorts]

Yes.

There's someone who wanted

to see you before you go.

Oh.

Mom.

You made it back in one piece.

You did good, baby.

I love you too, Mom.

So are you ready to move on?

Yeah, if I need to be, I am.

I'm not talking to you,

Calista.

All right,

let's get this over with.

Wait, what?

I... I'm not going with her?

- But... but you said...

- I know,

but unfortunately,

my boss still has concerns.

About what?

I worked my ass off trying

to fix things down there!

Just because your family's

on the right track now

doesn't mean that

they'll stay that way,

and the last thing we want is

more Ryans up here in purgatory.

So what are you saying?

[gasps]

Come on.

Come on.

- Mm.

- Mmm.

I thought I'd lost you, Cali.

I thought I lost all of you.

I love you guys so much.

Mom, you're okay.

We love you too, Cali.

You both okay?

Yes, thanks to you and Dad.

I still got to take you

to the hospital.

Well, luckily I brought

my own ambulance.

Yes.

[chuckles]

Captain Ryan,

after your heroics tonight,

I've decided to reinstate your

budget effective immediately.

- Oh, my...

- So we can keep our firehouse?

No politician in his right

mind would cut your budget now.

Yeah, you can

keep your firehouse.

Oh, well, thank you,

Mr. Mayor,

and you're making

the right choice.

Of course I am.

I'll just make the cuts

somewhere else, you know,

let some elderly

go homeless

or take away

children's daycare.

They don't vote anyway.

Okay.

- He doesn't mean that.

- No, I'm sure he's joking.

A mime, my wheelhouse.

You, this way.

Yeah.

[chuckling]

Nice work, Calista,

but you, Mr. Mayor,

I've got a nice house

sitting here empty,

just waiting for your arrival.

[chuckles]

[gentle eerie music]

So what helped you

put out the fire?

Spiked punch.

Spiked punch?

So what made you think

you could be a firefighter?

Uh... uh... uh...

That's it.

We're out of here.

[dramatic music]

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