The Big Broadcast of 1938 Page #5

And left only room for you

There ought to be a law

against songs like that.

Why? It's not right.

Hearing you sing that is like reading

love letters intended for someone else.

It's dreadful when a letter's sent

to the right person by mistake.

But there's nothing we can do

about it, Bob. You mean Buzz?

As I was saying, in the first

12 hours, we came this far.

Altogether, we've only

come this far.

Another mile and you'd have

cracked my skull.

You're the captain.

Why don't you do something

about it? But, but, but, but...

You talk like a motorboat.

This situation calls for

immediate action. Gangway!

Suffering sciatica!

Where have you been?

Why didn't you stick with

me down in the bathroom?

I wanted you to scrub my back.

I'll see you in perdition first.

Eventually, but right now, we've got

to... Come over on the bridge with me.

Give me that hat. Here,

hold this. Hold that.

That's fine. Come on now.

Here, I want to show you this chart.

Do you know anything about it?

I know it backwards.

Your usual form.

Thank you very much. See,

we've been uphill up to now.

Once we get over the hump, we

coast right down into Cherbourg.

What's this Rand McNally?

Evidently an Irish possession.

Here's a snapshot of my

little daughter Martha,

taken at sea when

she was a babe.

That's enough! Brother

or no brother,

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

out you go!

I've been attacked! Wait'll

my lawyer sees this.

Wearin' magic perfume

On her... Surprise!

How do you like my costume

for the big dance number?

Don't get in front of the

mirror. Don't you think...

it fits my personality?

Uh, yes, just barely.

I'm so cute, I bet they put

my picture on the front page.

I'll never forget the last time you

had your picture on the front page.

Your mouth was

continued on page two.

Oh! Why did you cut yourself?

Ah, I wanted to find out

if I was anemic. Oh.

Gee, I feel so wonderful. What

a... What a form. What a figure.

Oh! Well, uh... I'm,

I'm, I'm sorry.

Any mirror can just

fall down and break.

Any, uh... It wasn't

my fault, was it?

Quiet! No! It wasn't my fault!

Oh, boy!

Ah, here's where we make a

couple of very dear friendships.

That is glass. Ah,

it's too clean.

Be very careful of that...

Look out. How do you do.

Garcon!

Yes, sir? Bring us

two whiskey sodas.

Yes, sir. Spoke to him

in his native tongue.

Move over, dear. That's all

right. I like that.

Oh, do you? That's fine.

Make it four whiskey sodas.

Don't put your hat

on the table.

As I was saying, Yes?

I was married to him for eight months.

I gave him the best years of my life.

Best years of her life. I only

wanted a million dollars.

Only a million. He

wouldn't give me a penny.

Where was your mother?

Couldn't come that day, I

suppose. But he'll pay,

and he'll pay through his nose.

Ha ha! Good.

They seem a bit snooty.

Very silly little girls.

They let it slip right

through their fingers.

Well, we'll be going.

We'll see you later.

Is that a tomato he's eating,

or is that his nose?

Evidently, they're insulted.

- You say anything to them?

- I never opened my mouth.

I've lost my hat. There

it is, up there.

Where? Ah.

I told you I lost it. Oh.

Good-bye! Good-bye, dear.

There it goes. Here, give me

that. You got a hat of your own.

What's the matter, darling?

Hello, Cleo.

What's the matter?

Little man had a busy day? This

is no time for wisecracks,

from you or anyone else.

$50,000. Well, what's $50,000?

Ahh, I'm goin' out and eat worms,

with salt and pepper and stuff.

Oh, wait a minute. Thank you.

Say, keep them coming, and give

her the cherries, will you?

Thanks for remembering. Say, make that

extra big so I can catch up with him.

You know, Buzz, I cleaned

up an old trunk yesterday,

and I found that green tie of

yours, the one with the stripes.

Really? Uh-huh.

You know something, Buzz?

What, dear?

I kind of miss your

singing in the bathtub.

Mm, good old bathtub.

Good old singing.

Thanks for the memory

of rainy afternoons

Swingy Harlem tunes

Motor trips and burning lips

and burning toast and prunes

How lovely it was

Thanks for the memory

Of candlelight and wine

castles on the Rhine

The Parthenon And moments

on the Hudson River line

How lovely it was

Many's the time

that we feasted

And many's the time

that we fasted

Oh well it was swell

while it lasted

We did have fun

and no harm done

So thanks for the memory

of crap games on the floor

Nights in Singapore

You might've been a headache

but you never were a bore

I thank you so much

Thanks for the memory

of China's funny wall

Transatlantic calls

That weekend at Niagara when

we hardly saw the falls

- How lovely that was.

- Thank you.

Thanks for the memory of

lunch from 12:
00 to 4:00

Sunburn at the shore

That pair of gay pajamas that

you bought and never wore

Say, by the way, what did

happen to those pajamas?

Huh?

Letters with sweet

little secrets

That couldn't be

put in a day wire

Too bad it all had

to go haywire

That's life, I guess

I love... your dress

Do you? It's pretty.

Thanks... For the memory

Of faults that you forgave

Rainbows on a wave

And stockings in the basin

when a fellow needs a shave

I thank you so much

Thanks for the memory

Of gardens at Versailles

And beef and kidney pie

The night you worked and then came

home with lipstick on your tie

How lovely that was. Huh?

For the memory of

lingerie with lace

Yes and pilsner by the case

And how I jumped the day you

trumped my one and only ace

How lou... lovely that was

We said good-bye

with a highball

Then I got as

high as a steeple

Did you? But we were

intelligent people

No tears, no fuss

Hurray for us

Strictly entre-nous

Darling, how are you?

And how are all the little

dreams that never did come true

Awfully glad I met you

Cheerio and toodle-oo

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, Buzz! Buzz!

Darling. I know.

I know, dear.

Now what does that mean? That means

Robert Hayes' invention's a failure.

Oh, I wish I could be of some

help. Stumped by a short circuit.

Come on, Bob, it isn't hopeless,

is it? No, no, it's not hopeless.

But that'll take

a month to find.

By that time, the trip will

be over and so will what

I laughingly call my career.

Poor Bob. Oh, excuse me. I

thought I was someplace else.

Well, so long. Just remember

where you left off.

Hey! Hey, come back here!

Come on! There you go.

Do you mind if I sort

of pass through?

I thought this was a thing that went

around the whole thing up there,

and it came... I just wan...

ooh!

I, I guess I must've busted

somethin', huh?

Well, how much will it cost to

have fixed? My dream girl! Eureka!

Hey, I resent that.

My dream princess!

Whoo! Your nose is cold.

What is it? The tip

of Bellows' umbrella.

- The short circuit I couldn't locate.

- What's all the kissin' about?

Don't you understand? You found

the tip of the umbrella.

I, I... Whoo! I'll be right

back. Where you going?

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