The Big Hit Page #2

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Hell no! Why should I?

Let his f***ing fiancee pay 'em off.

Honey?

- Are you awake?|- Yeah.

Melvin, I'm really starting|to dislike you.

I didn't find my money!

You all right, babe?

Yeah.

Hello? Cisco, what's up, man?

Mel, what's up, kid?

That thing you got goin' for tomorrow?|Can I still get in?

Yo, Gump...

I don't want no fuckups|on this kidnapping.

Come on. I ain't like that no more!|You know I gots my sh*t-

Together. You gots your sh*t together.

You non-word-remembering|motherf***er.

Cisco, I don't know about|no kidnapping sh*t.

- A hundred large apiece.|- A hundred?

Word up.|Here's the deal.

There's this rich Japanese industrialist|named Jiro Nishi.

- Nishi Electric?|- The one and only, baby.

- Richest motherf***er on the seaboard.|- How do you know he's gonna pay?

You're starting to sound like a b*tch.|"How do you know he's gonna pay?"

I gots this sh*t covered.

That motherf***er Nishi's got millions|in cash laying around his crib.

This motherf***er's loaded!

It was a legitimate question.

Thaf's it, Mr. Nishi.|You are officia/ly broke.

Everything. How could this|have happened?

You knew the market was bearish.|It was risky making that movie.

All my life, I wanted to make|a big Hollywood movie!

I understand. "Taste The Golden Spray"|was a big movie, a huge movie.

Actually, it was|the biggest movie ever made.

Maybe you shouldn't have directed|and starred in it.

I'm not the first person|to make big movie.

I know. But gold leaf posters|for everybody? That was excessive.

I need to pick up my daughter|at college.

And?

I can't afford to pay the driver.

For crying out loud!|How much is it gonna cost?

It's a stretch limo.

Stretch this.

F*** ass no!|Hell no!

No advances. I've got my chips|wrapped up in the Grande Pinoche.

Ask Crunch. He's got spare loot.

He don't spend it on sh*t|except maybe some smut.

Can you hook me with 25 g's|until we do this?

You need it for that|sell-out b*tch again, don't you?

- Who's a b*tch?|- Get the f*** outta here.

Get with the program.

Straight jackin' saves you|that mad cream.

Oh, well.

Give me a call at the crib later.|I'll hook you up.

Good looking out, man.

I don't know why I'm encouraging you.|F*** both them b*tches.

If they're running you through|that much sh*t, dump both their asses.

- Where the hell is that limo?|- I can't, man.

- What do you mean, you can't?|- I just can't. Okay?

How the f*** come|you can't dump these two...

whack-ass, money-grubbing,|no-respect-giving b*tches?

- The truth?|- Yeah, I want the truth.

You can't handle truth!

Shut the f*** up!

The truth is I can't stand the idea|of them not liking me anymore.

The idea of those two women|not liking me is more than I can stand.

I can't stand the idea|of anybody not liking me. Okay?

There, I said it.|The truth. That's the truth.

- Yo, Mel?|- What?

The hundred or so people you murdered|in the past five years...

more than likely have relatives|who don't think too highly of you.

- Hello?|- Hey, baby.

- What's up, girl?|- You know why I called, don'f you?

I don't know.|Why did you call me?

Because, Melvin,|I'm getfing sick of your ass!

- Why do you always procrasfinate?|- Stand up to her, Mel.

Melvin, why are you|always lying to me-

Car trouble?

Puf thaf damn phone fo your ear.

Mel, show her you're the man.

Whaf are you doing?|Playing wifh your friends?

You are pafhefic.

Bye!

Yeah, of course,|you know I love you.

All right. We'll hook up later.|Anything you want, sweetie.

Here you go.

- This is the girl?|- No, it's your mammy.

Maria's having a party tonight.

Bye, guys.

Are you gonna go?|I'll meet you there. See you tonight.

Bye.

Lance! You're so nasty.

A much deserved and hard-won reputation.|Am I still riding with you?

- Don't push my hand away.|- Stop!

What's your problem?|You're an ice queen today.

- Stop!|- Good afternoon, Miss Nishi.

Hi. Who are you?|Where's Aaron?

He couldn't make it today. He's sick.|Is this yours?

Yeah.

See ya.

Sir, I think it would better if you|could get a ride from somebody else.

Bro, don't worry about me.

Drive the car.|That's what you're paid to do.

And don't forget my suitcase.

Careful with that case, bro!|There's fragile crystal in there.

You break it,|you'll be back driving cabs.

Sorry about that, sir.

- Bro?|- Yes, sir?

- A little privacy!|- Yes, sir. Sorry about that.

Domestics!

Lance!

Lance, no. No. Come on.

Yeah, right!|No means yes.

- Come on, baby, you know you want it.|- Stop!

Get off me!

Fucky-sucky. Me love you long time!

Get off me!

Stop it!

What's up with that, bro?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

He's gonna take his hand off your mouth.|Don't scream or he's gonna shoot you.

I'll blow your...

motherfucking-

I think she gets the point.

Professor.

I'm really sorry about your boyfriend.|He was being kinda rude.

Do you mind?

This is a kidnapping, right?

- Right.|- So what's up with you guys?

You supposed to be the Spice Boys?

You need to chill|with that being witty sh*t.

Professor, put the cuffs on her.

Skipper, Professor, take care|of that mess in the backseat.

You must be the millionaire.

Pretty soon.

- Read this.|- "Father-"

"Father, I have been abduct.|I am fine. "

Abducted.

- It says "abduct. "|- Just say abducted.

"I have been abducted. I am fine now,|but I may not be for loring.

If you do not pay the sun|of one million doolers-"

- "Loring"? "Sun of one million doolers"?|- That's what it says.

That's "long" and the "sum"|of one million "dollars. "

- You know what it means.|- You told me to read this.

- That's what I'm doing.|- Say what it means.

Be careful with that one.|That's Lance's crystal. It's fragile.

"I may not be for long. If you do not|pay the sum of one million dollars...

you will never see me alive again|as these men mean businesses. "

Who wrote this?

- Crunch!|- What?

I think he's pissed about the note.

It says "businesses. "

You told me to read the note.|You never said to improv it.

Improv! Are you Meryl-f***ing-Streep?|Okay, improv the note.

These sexually frustrated|degenerate losers mean business.

Don't, don't improv.|Don't improv the note.

Gump, give me a f***ing pen!

Read.

"Dad, been kidnapped.|Send one million or I'm dead. "

Perfect.

Yo, Mel, my player,|here go the scenario.

Since Chantel is cool, take homegirl|and store her at your place.

- Why my place?|- 'Cause.

- 'Cause why?|- 'Cause!

'Cause that's the best plan right now.|Just do what I say.

- What about the limo?|- You want me to drive that, too?

I got the limo, the girl,|all kind of sh*t.

What's your name, kid?

Shut up. Don't f*** this up.|I got to get home and jerk off.

- Can you-|- Drive! Yes, I can f***ing drive.

- Hi, honey!|- Hiya, Mom!

Look at you!

Hiya, Dad. How are ya?

How was your train ride?

The train ride was fine. It's the|cab ride over I could've lived without.

This Turkish idiot who barely spoke|one word of English...

drops us off at that schmuck|next door's house.

And the bastard, could you believe this,|he starts cursing at us!

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