The Big Hit Page #3

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- I need a drink.|- No!

- Ma?|- Yeah?

I'm not criticizing you|or anything like that, okay?

It's just that I think...

maybe you should dress your age.

I mean, look at Dad. He's dressed|like a villain from "Miami Vice. "

Dress my age? I'll have you know|Morton and I dress the way we feel.

Look at your father.

He's a regular sex machine.

Yeah, a regular Brad Pitt.

So, where is our benefactor?

Are you okay?

All right. I'll be right back.

I went to the bank today,|and do you know what I found?

Or should I say, do you know|what I didn't find?

- I wasn't able to-|- I am really starting to dislike you.

- I didn't find my money!|- It's at Crunch's.

I'll call and get it tonight.

Now!

- Yo, money! You ready to-|- Do it. Yeah.

That's my word!

Make sure we get this right.

Crunch f***ed me up|with that whack-ass note.

All right.|My phone is plugged into here.

This motherfucking Tracebuster|will keep that motherf***er from-

- Trace?|- Tracing our sh*t. Know what I say?

This Tracebuster keeps a buster|from tracing your call.

- It can also-|- Trace?

Trace the motherf***er|that's tracing your sh*t!

What if they got a Tracebuster, too?

That's why I've got|this Tracebuster Buster.

When a motherf***er try to bust|your trace with a Tracebuster...

this will bust the motherfucking|Tracebuster that's busting your-

- Trace!|- That's my word, player!

- Use my cell phone.|- Patch that into here, all right?

- Plug and play, motherf***er!|- Yo!

Hello.

Mr. Nishi, you don't know me, but|I have something you may want to hear.

If says "businesses. "|That's whaf if-

Hold on. That's not it.

These sexually frustrated-

Hold on. Just, you know, relax.

- Listen to this.|- Tooth polish, hemorrhoid cream-

Hello? Hello?

That motherf***er had the nerve|to hop smart on my ass!

What?

Dad, I've been kidnapped.|Send one million or I'm dead.

Who is this?

Don't worry about who this is!|We have your daughter.

We want $1 million or she dies.

- Plain and simple.|- Is she okay?

She's fine, but if we don't get|that money she won't be.

I don't have money.|I go bankrupt.

Bullshit! Don't f*** with us or we'll|send her back in little f***ing pieces!

Get us the million by noon tomorrow|or she's a slab of meat!

- Undersfand me?|- I understand.

I'll calI you at 10:00 a. m. and tell you|where the drop goes down. No cops.

Or I starf cutfing.|I smell a cop, I'I/ cuf off her hand!

Don't try to trace this call.|It won't do you no good.

That's how you do sh*t!

I gots this sh*t well in control!|We're about to get paid.

I not call police.|F*** all the police!

Was I a bad motherf***er?

- You was a bad-|- Motherf***er!

- Bad!|- Bad motherf***er!

Mean! Nasty!

I trace you, buster!

Up you go. Go, go.

Hello.

That's it, baby.

10:
00 a. m. tomorrow we set up the drop|and by noon we get paid.

Yo, my n*gger!

We gonna get paid!

In the house!

Get your ass to my office|in 20 minutes.

F***! Motherf***er!

Paris called me for some emergency sh*t.|Don't do jack till I get back.

Yo, yo, if you want me to,|I could set up the-

Drop it, motherf***er!|Don't do sh*t till I get back!

I'm really sorry.|I mean, it's nice to finally meet ya.

You seem like a nice enough|German-Irish fella.

And I hope you won't take any offense|when I say...

what are you both, out of your minds?

- Ma, we know what we're doing.|- Oh, yeah?

You're gonna kill your father.|That's what you're doing.

Marriage? You two?|A Catholic and a Jew? God forbid.

You're gonna put your father|in an early grave!

- What is this doing to your parents?|- Actually they're both dead.

You see? Do you see?

Ma, they were dead before we met.

I know. This isn't about Daddy|or Mel's parents. It's about you.

You're prejudiced.

- Prejudiced? I'm prejudiced?|- Yeah.

I'll have you know there is not one|prejudiced bone in my body.

Not prejudiced? If I wanna marry goyim,|I'll marry goyim!

- Over my dead body you will!|- If I want, I'll marry a black man.

- Shut your mouth!|- A six-foot-nine-

Excuse me, sir.|I just wanted to apologize.

I didn't mean to cause|such a schlimazel.

I'll take them to temple tomorrow.

Do you think that might work?

- Mr. Shulman?|- Mort.

Sorry. Mort. Sir, I know how|your wife feels about me and Pam.

I just wanted you to know that I would|never marry her without your blessing.

Yes, sir?

Could you get me a shot of that rum|I saw in there?

Yeah, sure.

- Never give Daddy something to drink.|- Why? What's the matter?

- It's horrible.|- It's not so bad.

It's not so bad?|He's a meshuggenah, that's what he is.

- Yo, boss, what's going on?|- Sit down and shut up.

Even for those who live|outside the law...

it is commonly understood that there are|certain rules which must be observed.

Otherwise what you have is anarchy.

I hear you, boss.

We run a serious business here.|The business of making money.

This business is based on trust|and loyalty and honor.

In the house of Paris,|that's alll we've got.

That's it, baby.|It's all about love.

When the rules are broken in the house|of Paris, the machine breaks down.

Discipline must be enforced.

Order must be restored.

In my house,|there has been a transgression.

An unauthorized kidnapping in my house.

- Who could be that stupid?|- It gets worse.

In this particular case...

the transgression is personal.

In this case...

the kidnappee happens to be|my goddaughter.

- F*** no!|- Some rock.

Some dolt.

Some less than senseless thing|has decided to come...

to my house and kidnap my goddaughter.

And I am looking...

I am searching for a motherf***er...

stupid enough to f*** with me.

Yo, boss, what's this got|to do with me?

I want to know what you would do|to that son of a jackal.

Me?

I would, you know, I would-

What would you do to someone...

who decided to f*** with you|in your own house?

I'd bust some caps!

Bust some caps!|Give this man a gold star.

It is you who-

Give me that!

It is you that I'm putting in charge|of this whole operation.

It is you who must go forth...

and bring these motherfuckers to me.

Let's just take the money...

and go to L.A. where people|like us belong.

I love this movie.

Get that, Mel, will you?|I'm not dressed.

What are you doing here?

I just came to drop your sh*t off|before I said good-bye.

Good-bye, you punk-ass b*tch.|I'm leaving this town.

What are you doing? Chantel?

Sh*t!

I'm getting a glass of prune juice.

Hurry up.|We've got a long way to go.

Don't worry. I know a shortcut.

No, sweetie.|You don't want to do that.

- What's in there? It's heavy.|- It's deer meat, actually.

- What?|- Cisco went hunting and bagged a deer.

He gave the meat to me|because he's a vegetarian.

- There's a dead deer in there?|- Yeah.

That's gross. Take it out|to the garbage, please.

Sorry about that.

Ma, pour me some coffee.

- You don't want to go in there.|- I need to get something.

It smells really bad. Stinky poo-poo.

That's disgusting.

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