The Big Lebowski Page #11

DUDE:

Oh, nothin', you know.

They have reached the little desk outside of the big

Lebowski's office; Brandt opens its bottom drawer with a key

and takes out an attache case. He hands this to the Dude

along with a cellular phone in a battery-pack carrying case.

BRANDT:

Here's the money, and the phone.

Please, Dude, follow whatever

instructions they give.

DUDE:

Uh-huh.

BRANDT:

Her life is in your hands.

DUDE:

Oh, man, don't say that..

BRANDT:

Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that:

Her life is in your hands.

DUDE:

Sh*t.

BRANDT:

Her life is in your hands, Dude.

And report back to us as soon as

it's done.

DUDE'S CAR

We pan off the Dude, driving, to his point of view through

the front windshield. The headlights play over Walter

standing waiting in front of the storefront of SOBCHAK

SECURITY. Though he is wearing khaki shorts and shirt, the

fact that he holds a battered brown briefcase makes him look

oddly like a commuter. He also holds an irregular shape

bundled in brown wrapping paper.

The car stops in front of him and he opens the Dude's door

and hands in the briefcase.

WALTER:

Take the ringer. I'll drive.

The Dude takes the briefcase and slides over.

DUDE:

The what?

WALTER:

The ringer! The ringer, Dude! Have

they called yet?

The Dude opens the briefcase and paws bemusedly through it

as the car starts rolling.

DUDE:

What the hell is this?

WALTER:

My dirty undies. Laundry, Dude.

The whites.

DUDE:

Agh--

He closes the briefcase.

DUDE:

Walter, I'm sure there's a reason

you brought your dirty undies--

WALTER:

Thaaaat's right, Dude. The weight.

The ringer can't look empty.

DUDE:

Walter--what the f*** are you

thinking?

WALTER:

Well you're right, Dude, I got to

thinking. I got to thinking why

should we settle for a measly f***ing

twenty grand--

DUDE:

We? What the f*** we? You said you

just wanted to come along--

WALTER:

My point, Dude, is why should we

settle for twenty grand when we can

keep the entire million. Am I wrong?

DUDE:

Yes you're wrong. This isn't a

f***ing game, Walter--

WALTER:

It is a f***ing game. You said so

yourself, Dude--she kidnapped herself--

DUDE '

Yeah, but--

The phone chirps. Dude grabs it.

DUDE:

Dude here.

VOICE:

(German accent)

Who is this?

DUDE:

Dude the Bagman. Where do you want

us to go?

VOICE:

...Us?

DUDE:

Sh*t. . . Uh, yeah, you know, me and the driver. I'm not

handling the money and driving the car and talking on the

phone all by my f***ing--

VOICE:

Shut the f*** up.

(Beat)

Hello?

DUDE:

Yeah?

VOICE:

Okay, listen--

Walter looks over at the Dude and bellows:

WALTER:

Dude, are you f***ing this up?

VOICE:

Who is that?

DUDE:

The driver man, I told you--

Click. Dial tone.

DUDE:

Oh sh*t. Walter.

WALTER:

What the f*** is going on there?

DUDE:

They hung up, Walter! You f***ed it

up! You f***ed it up! Her life was

in our hands!

WALTER:

Easy, Dude.

DUDE:

We're screwed now! We don't get

sh*t and they're gonna kill her!

We're f***ed, Walter!

WALTER:

Dude, nothing is f***ed. Come on.

You're being very unDude. They'll

call back. Look, she kidnapped her--

The phone chirps.

WALTER:

Ya see? Nothing is f***ed up here,

Dude. Nothing is f***ed. These

guys are f***ing amateurs--

DUDE:

Shutup, Walter! Don't f***ing say

peep when I'm doing business here.

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